It has been over 2 years since I last posted.
I was wanting to be a Catholic years ago and I went to mass several times I really was excited about learning and going to church.
I got away from church and everything for a long time. My Dad became sick and I helped to take care of him. He passed away a year ago and now I’m taking care of my family plus my mother now. I went to a Baptist church for a while don’t get me wrong I enjoyed going but something has been missing.I’ve been pulled toward the Catholic religion ever since. I always think about it and even yearn to go back.
Well today I got up early and I got my son up and we went to Mass. It felt soooooooo great to be in the church. Its a feeling I haven’t had in many many years. I really believe in my heart that God wants me to go there. It was like returning home. I haven’t ever been but a handful of times. But it was the most wonderful feeling to go back today. Even my son truly enjoyed today.
My husband is behind me. He said to go if that is were Im suppose to go. But I have a problem. My Mother is Baptist and when she found out I went this morning she didn’t say a word but she gave me the eye and just staired at me with wide open eyes. She doesnt believe I should go there. and now that she is living with us. I feel like she will try to put a wet blanket on it. . I dont know how to handle her when I go Sunday morning. I have always highly respected her and my Dad.
Even though my husband is behind me I feel like I will have a hard time with him also. He is a good man but has one fault and that is drinking. It will be REAL hard to get him interested in it as I am.
School start next month on becoming a catholic and I really really want to go. with all my heart !!
But I must admit I’m so bad and lazy about getting up early in the mornings that I always wake up to late to go. When I go to bed the night before I always plan on getting up and going to church but then with day light breaks I just roll back over and go to sleep. That is my worst thing that has kept me out of church. Just being lazy about getting up. I know that is a poor excuse. But its the truth.
I’m so sorry about rambling on and on and just spilling everything I’m thinking. But I have no one to talk to about any of this.
When I was little I remember going to church and feeling good when I left but nothing like that since. When I do go to church and after it was over all i thought was ok we went to church now what. But when I went this morning that same feeling I had when I was a child. When I walked out of church it was like a ton had been lifted off my shoulders and I truly was happy. I have been happy to the point of being ecstatic. That all my son and I have talked about today. I haven’t snapped at him once today. I have had so much patience with him and we have really enjoyed just being with each other today. I just feel sooooo refreshed that I got to go this morning. and I yearn to go back as soon as I can. But Im so scared about how to handle my family. I’m just a stay at home mom and now since I take care of my mom. I feel like I still have to do what she says. Does any of this make sense?
Is there someone that might can give me some advise or understand where I’m coming from?
I think mostly I’m looking for a friend that understands.