I want to confess but am afraid of what the priest will say


#1

Hi. Here is my whole situation. I am Catholic but not really religious. I was never confirmed and rarely ever attend mass. I have not been to confession in over five years. However, I have a situation I feel horrible about in my conscience and I genuinely do want to do the right thing. Anyway, about two months ago, I met another woman on Match.com. We went out several times and twice we had sex. The last time was about 6 weeks ago. I didn’t go out with her again and barely spoke to her in five weeks. Several days ago, she texted me and said she was pregnant. I really panicked. My first response was, “I will pay for an abortion.” She said then she wasn’t having one. She wanted to be a mom and would raise the child even without me in the picture. I kept saying i would pay for the abortion for the next coupe of days and she kept saying she was not having one. Let me also say my reasons were selfish. I have a lot going on in my personal life and felt I could not handle being a father. I also feared what everyone in my family would say if I told them that I would be a father out of wedlock. I just felt I could not cope with the whole situation. Finally, the other night, she finally said, “OK. I’ll do what you want. I’ll have the abortion.” Then last night I spoke to her again and she said she had made the appointment for the abortion. She was also getting back together with her ex boyfriend and he said the best thing was to have the abortion too. She also said she was actualy considering not telling me she was pregnant and now wishes she had done that. This morning, I met her and gave her the money. She had the abortion this morning, and now it seems the roles are reversed. She is saying it was probably the best thing and I am the one who feels horrible and I have been crying on and off. The one solace I am giving myself is that if she hadn’t told me she was pregnant, she may have had the abortion anyway after talking to her ex and I would never know, but the bottom line is I still paid for it. I really want to go to confession about this. I could go to any church during confession hours. My worry is that I haven’t been to confession in years, and nothing this serious. I am afraid of what a priest will say to me. Do parish priests even have the power to forgive abortions, or would I have to go to the bishop? I could really use any advice. I’m really sorry for the length. Thank you.


#2

Hi. Here is my whole situation. I am Catholic but not really religious. I was never confirmed and rarely ever attend mass. I have not been to confession in over five years. However, I have a situation I feel horrible about in my conscience and I genuinely do want to do the right thing. Anyway, about two months ago, I met another woman on Match.com. We went out several times and twice we had sex. The last time was about 6 weeks ago. I didn’t go out with her again and barely spoke to her in five weeks. Several days ago, she texted me and said she was pregnant. I really panicked. My first response was, “I will pay for an abortion.” She said then she wasn’t having one. She wanted to be a mom and would raise the child even without me in the picture. I kept saying i would pay for the abortion for the next coupe of days and she kept saying she was not having one. Let me also say my reasons were selfish. I have a lot going on in my personal life and felt I could not handle being a father. I also feared what everyone in my family would say if I told them that I would be a father out of wedlock. I just felt I could not cope with the whole situation. Finally, the other night, she finally said, “OK. I’ll do what you want. I’ll have the abortion.” Then last night I spoke to her again and she said she had made the appointment for the abortion. She was also getting back together with her ex boyfriend and he said the best thing was to have the abortion too. She also said she was actualy considering not telling me she was pregnant and now wishes she had done that. This morning, I met her and gave her the money. She had the abortion this morning, and now it seems the roles are reversed. She is saying it was probably the best thing and I am the one who feels horrible and I have been crying on and off. The one solace I am giving myself is that if she hadn’t told me she was pregnant, she may have had the abortion anyway after talking to her ex and I would never know, but the bottom line is I still paid for it. I really want to go to confession about this. I could go to any church during confession hours. My worry is that I haven’t been to confession in years, and nothing this serious. I am afraid of what a priest will say to me. I guess I deserve whatever he says. Do parish priests even have the power to forgive abortions, or would I have to go to the bishop? I could really use any advice. I’m really sorry for the length. Thank you.


#3

I think whenever we are in shock or in a difficult and emotional situation, we tend to make decisions out of fear rather than love.

Go talk to a priest about this in Confession. If your church is one that has long lines, you might set up a special appointment. I'll pray that you find a loving and compassionate priest. There are many good ones out there.

The sooner you go, the better. If you start to put it off, things will only get worse, and you will spiral downward and it will be harder for you to go.

I'm really sorry for your loss. There is always hope, for even the worst of situations. God redeemed us all, to the very worst possible of sins. To paraphrase from St. Faustina's diary, "The entire world's sins are but a drop in the vast ocean of His mercy."

Ask for Mary's guidance and the intercession of the Holy Spirit in finding a confessor and for your healing.


#4

[quote="RRusso1982, post:1, topic:329660"]
I really want to go to confession about this. I could go to any church during confession hours. My worry is that I haven't been to confession in years, and nothing this serious. I am afraid of what a priest will say to me. Do parish priests even have the power to forgive abortions, or would I have to go to the bishop?

[/quote]

Please do go to confession, and don't hesitate! You are contrite, as far as I can tell, and God's forgiveness will paradoxically bring you joy. There is no sin too great for God to forgive, and yes, parish priests can likewise grant you absolution for any sin.

Don't worry about not having been to confession in years. Let the priest know how long it's been. It's fine to be nervous. It's fine if you don't remember the Act of Contrition.

God bless you.


#5

A priest does have the power to give absolution for almost anything.

Honestly I think the best advice anyone could give you is to contact a priest as soon as possible and let him work with you. That is the only advice I can and will give you because I feel that he could better help you. I do apologize for the lack of advice but I think a priest is much better equipped to handle this. You will be in my prayers.


#6

I can tell you what the priest will say if it'll help to put you out of your misery.

He will say:

"I absolve you."

And you will feel amazing peace.

Don't let the devil gain a foothold. Go NOW before you wait so long that either your conscience has been dulled and you have successfully talked yourself out of your guilt, or your conscience is so weighed down by guilt that you can't function. There is no sin that cannot be forgiven if the sinner is contrite and it sure looks like you are.

Abortion is intrinsically evil and there is no good in it. However, God can bring good from ALL things, even the most awful things. What good can come of this? ...it can be the motivating factor to get you back to confession after years of being away from the Sacraments.

God will forgive you. His mercy is infinite.


#7

For a matter this serious, you should make an appointment with your parish priest, not just turn up during regular confession hours.

Many parish priest do have the authority, given from their bishops, to absolve such sins. But depending on where you are and whether your priest has such authority, you may also need to go to your bishop.

It's a shame you can't be a father to your child now, but you can always offer prayer for him/her. Return to prayer and the mass and offer them for you child.


#8

RRUsso, go meet with a priest ASAP. You need to get this off your chest. Don’t be afraid either. That is a trick of satan to keep you from going. I assure you that you will meet only with mercy, kindness and forgiveness.

God bless you! I have said a prayer for you and all involved.


#9

I've probably been on the forum too much today, but allow me to give you some advice. :)

No matter what you have done, Christ will welcome you with full arms back into His Church. :)
As long as you are truly sorry and promise to never do it again, you will be forgiven.:)

Forgive me, I know it's not of my business, but I hope you can start attending Mass regularly. Can you attend at least one Mass, for me?:) Christ misses you, and wants you back.:)

God Bless. :blessyou:


#10

The problem is I don't belong to a parish


#11

Is it ok to go during normal confession hours or should I set up a specia appointment for something this serious?


#12

[quote="RRusso1982, post:10, topic:329660"]
The problem is I don't belong to a parish

[/quote]

Go to any Catholic Church. God's mercy is infinite and He will forgive you whenever you are sorry. A priest will not judge you since that is not his ministry. He is there to heal you of your wounds. The decision made this morning cost a child his/her life but Jesus gave His to forgive even decisions like these. Peace be to you and may you find that God's peace will draw you closer to Him. Jesus loves you and your child is with Him now because the Church teaches of His mercy. You are in my prayers and so is the mother as she will need prayers whether she knows it or not. God bless...............................teachccd


#13

This is a situation where not only should you confess you should talk to a priest and receive his advice too so you should make an appointment.


#14

[quote="RRusso1982, post:10, topic:329660"]
The problem is I don't belong to a parish

[/quote]

Not a problem...just call your local parish to make an appointment to see the priest.


#15

I recommend slowly reading the parable of the Prodigal Son. It always reminds me of the unconditional Love God has for us, and how much He wants us to be home with Him. Luke 15:11-32:

11 Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. 12 The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them.

13 “Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. 14 After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. 15 So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. 16 He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.

17 “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18 I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ 20 So he got up and went to his father.

“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

21 “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’

22 “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23 Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. 24 For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.

25 “Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. 27 ‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’

28 “The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. 29 But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. 30 But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’

31 “‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. 32 But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’"


#16

Yes, you should set up a special appointment. You’ve been away a long time and this is a very serious matter.


#17

[quote="RRusso1982, post:10, topic:329660"]
The problem is I don't belong to a parish

[/quote]

Call the closest parish to you and make an appointment with the priest. If he can't see you for a long time, call the next closest. Repeat as necessary.

And just for future reference, one post on the same subject is all you need.


#18

If you are truly sorry and want to reconcile with God, you should call on the Holy Spirit to change your life. While going to confession, will absolve you of this sin, it does no good if you are gonna continue to live your life in mortal sin. God wants you to come back to Him. That means, going through RCIA (or whatever the Priest at the parish you plan to attend) and getting confirmed. Don’t let fear keep you away. Be not afraid my friend, we all make mistakes


#19

Sorry. I posted it on the other board and then saw this board and thought that was a better place for my question.


#20

Lookup this song on youtube: Tenth avenue north- you are more


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