I want to do what is right in God's eyes


Not sure if this the right place to post this. But I need a sense of dirrection.

Some of you may already know my story as I have been posting it since the start of my problems.

I recently learned that my husband was having an affair. And although I belive I have forgiven him. I am still hurt…and do not know how to proceed.

Before all this happend my husband told me he was missing something and that he thought it was best to seperate (October) . Although I gave him the green light, he thought is best we do it after the holidays. Holidays came and his affair started. At that time, I did not know about the affair, and struggled with the thought of divorce because I only wanted what was right in the Catholic Church. What I learned was that a marriage can only be annulled, when adultry has been comitted.

My husband has repented, confessed and most importantly has God; and wants to stay committed to our marriage. I, however, am not sure what God is telling me to do. I have prayed and prayed…but nothing.

All that pops in my mind is that he has given me the “act of adultry” to go forward with the divorce.

please help.


Please speak with your Priest.

When the church tribunal investigates the validity of a marriage, it is based on the facts around the couple on the day they married - at the time of the wedding.

Subsequent events, including a spouse having an affair, do not nullify a marriage.

Prayers for you.


God bless you erazo. I know the pain you feel is terrible. As mentioned, adultry is not an automatic for an annulment.

I suggest you first seek counsel with your priest.

And get yourselves into Retrouvaille ASAP! It saved my marriage.



Gosh, this is a tough one! But if a person says he is sorry, asks for forgiveness and repents, I believe we are told to forgive that sin. Love the sinner, hate the sin. Hard thing to do, easy to say. But marriage is a lifetime commitment. Who knows when either one of us may fail the other. We are so fragile and broken. We must trust in God’s mercy and place the situation in His hands. If you do not hear a clear, concise answer and are still confused, I would say the answer is from the evil one. He confuses us, lies to us, deceives us, twists things. If, on the other hand, you hear a definite yes to your question (whatever it may be, and after much prayer and spiritual direction) I would think this is from God. Good luck. I probably didn’t help, but I tried … !!!


I’m not sure who told you adultery was grounds for a decree of nullity, it is not-- in and of itself.

Think long and hard about why you want to go ahead and divorce-- is it to punish him, save face for yourself, or some other emotional response to the situation? If so, it may be that you come to regret this decision as time passes and hurt heals.

It does take time, you cannot get over such a large hurt overnight. Seek counseling together with your priest. Go to a program like Retrouvaille. Take it one day at a time. You cannot go back to “how it was” but with hard work from both of you, you can reach “better than it was”.


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