I want to move out


#1

Hi,

I really want to move out of my parents house, but I have a disability and it is going to be really really hard. I don’t know where to begin. My parents are just really stressing me. I feel like I’m stuck here forever. I need some help. I go to a therapist and a psychiatrist but they aren’t really helpful at all. I don’t really know what to do.

Joshua


#2

ask your therapist if your condition is such that a social worker may be assigned, as that is the person who can help you with issues like housing, work, education etc.
you have never given your age in any of your posts so we can not help too much.


#3

[quote="puzzleannie, post:2, topic:253464"]
ask your therapist if your condition is such that a social worker may be assigned, as that is the person who can help you with issues like housing, work, education etc.
you have never given your age in any of your posts so we can not help too much.

[/quote]

I am 27.


#4

Dear Joshua,

Thank you for coming here and sharing your story. Please be assured of my prayers. I would think the people to contact first are your parents! I know you said they are causing you stress, why don't you wait until a time when everyone is calm. It is never a good idea during an arguement so yell "I want to move!" it is also immature.

Sit down with them and explain. Try not to give negative reasons such as you need to get away because your parents are causing you stress. Try and give positive reasons! You want to feel independent! You want to have a place of your own! You want to have new responsibilities! These are all natural desires and the way God made us. Even though you have a disAbility you still have those desires they are perfectly natural!

Of course it may be challenging and so it may take a while and a lot of careful planning. I don't know the nature of your disAbility so cannot look up resources for you so I wish you the best in seeking asssitance in housing, accessability or whatever your needs may be. God bless you on your journey!


#5

Honestly, I think I need to seek help from somewhere outside of the family. My parents keep sending me to people and places that don’t help me and when I stop going there, they get mad at me. The idea of a social worker sounds interesting. I honestly don’t know what they do. No one has ever told me about them. I really need an advocate. Someone who isn’t either of my parents, but who understands me. I just don’t know where to look. I am going to ask my therapist if having a social worker would be beneficial to me. I can’t look up all this stuff myself. I don’t know where to look. Sometimes I don’t even know what I am looking for. Sometimes it gets so confusing and frustrating and I feel lost in the shuffle. And everyone seems to be looking out for themselves all the time. I don’t know who to ask for help. Well, now I have at least one lead, and I’ll follow that now.


#6

If I may ask, what disability do you have?

Are you able to perform all your activities of daily life on your own, or do you need assistance doing a lot of things?

Have you tried finding work?


#7

I have Asperger’s Syndrome. I have a lot of trouble doing things, and I am probably going to need a lot of help. I feel ashamed having to ask for help. I wish I could just do it all on my own. I feel like such a burden on other people.


#8

I am the mom of an AS son. I'm sure your parents are looking out for your best interests. However, there are so many more supports for AS adults than there were even 5 years ago.

I would suggest bringing up your feelings to your counselor, and then have him/her facilitate your feeling to your parents. We parents tend to be very overprotective of our kids, and that's not always the greatest thing to be. Hopefully you can brainstorm to find a solution that works for all of you.


#9

Wanted to add, don’t feel ashamed that you need to ask for help with certain tasks. We all have to do that, just not in the same areas. It’s just that what comes naturally for most people are difficult for you. However, I’m sure you have skills that come easily to you that are impossible for others to do. That’s the beauty of AS.


#10

The biggest problem is that I don’t know what I want to be. I have so many interests. I’m well read in almost every subject I can think of. I just can’t seem to focus. And I don’t know who to talk to. School bores the hell out of me. I have a 4.0 GPA and I don’t feel like I’ve learned a single thing in school. Everything I’ve learned in classes I could’ve learned for free on my own by going to the library. My classes don’t require me to actually think at all and it is driving me crazy. In fact if I do think about anything that we are studying in the classes, it makes it harder to do well in them. Whenever I ask questions of the teachers they get pissed off at me because they don’t know the answers. I am so frustrated right now.


#11

My friend, we all have challenges in life. Yours seems very serious, but try to remember that other people in worse circumstances have been able to accomplish amazing things. Don't use your disability as an excuse-instead, work with it and show what people with Asbergers can accomplish.


#12

I can do a lot to help people. This society is so disorganized. Someone should just put me to work somewhere. But I want to go where I can do the most good.


#13

I’m sure you can help alot of people. Good for you!

Sometimes though we need to take a job that will be means to an end, and not what we want to do for our whole lives.


#14

Hi there Josh:

Are you still in school...???


#15

[quote="Rascalking, post:13, topic:253464"]
I'm sure you can help alot of people. Good for you!

Sometimes though we need to take a job that will be means to an end, and not what we want to do for our whole lives.

[/quote]

I don't know where to begin. Every time I've told people I would like to work, they tell me it's really going to be hard for me to find a job, because people who have been working their whole lives are out of work, and there is nothing out there. And I am afraid of getting a job that I can't handle and having to quit. I need to find something I can do, but I don't know where my talents lie. My mind is really working here to figure this out. I find that if I really don't know what I'm doing, it's like I'm paralyzed, like I can't even move. I have to think about what I'm doing before I do it. If I don't I literally can't get myself to do it.

Some of this is seriously neurological, and I wish it weren't so. I wish I could just use brute force to get myself to do things, but it doesn't seem to be working. I really have to figure something out before I can do it competently. I need a lot of work to do something that someone else may do easily. Of course there are some things I do more easily than others probably. I do a lot of intellectual things, but I don't know where I can use this ability anywhere. I am good at mental labor, but I am just awkward and clumsy physically.


#16

Kind of. I’ve been taking classes. I’ve got a couple classes this semester. I’ve only been taking two classes at a time so I don’t get overwhelmed. I have a 4.0 GPA. I’m still working on an Associates degree, but I’m starting at a 4 year school this semester, so I guess I am working on a bachelors now.

I want to major in everything honestly. I want to major in physics, chemistry, biology, music, history, economics, languages. I think that is everything I want to major in. And I don’t want to be a Liberal Arts major. I just want to know everything I can. But I don’t know what I want to do.


#17

Why not help out at your parish while you’re trying to figure all this out?

Most parishes NEED help! If you show up and ask, they will probably put you to work. After that, who knows what graces may come your way?


#18

Have you heard of Temple Grandin? There was a movie about her this past year.

She has autism and is also a very successful professional. She is going to be giving several presentations on autism/aspergers this fall. She has also authored several books.

Here is her website.


#19

Yea, I told my deacon I wanted to help out. He’s going to contact our parish priest when he gets a chance. But I am going to talk to him myself. But it’s hard to catch him in a spare moment because he is the only priest at our parish and he is so overloaded. I’m just going to call the rectory today and ask if I can help them in any way. I have tons of time right now. I mentioned that I could help them if they needed it a while ago but we never really talked about it again.


#20

[quote="Catholic90, post:18, topic:253464"]
Have you heard of Temple Grandin? There was a movie about her this past year.

She has autism and is also a very successful professional. She is going to be giving several presentations on autism/aspergers this fall. She has also authored several books.

Here is her website.

[/quote]

I know her. I've read some of her writings. Oliver Sacks wrote a short biography in his book An Anthropologist on Mars.


DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.