First of all, I am grateful for this community and for being able to express myself here.
I left my girlfriend 3 months ago for God because I returned to the Church and I could not reconcile our sex life with my wish to be closer to Him and to receive the Sacraments again. We had been together for 2 years, cohabiting for 1 year, and she had brought me so much, as she was a (non-practicing) christian and I an atheist, and she taught me how to love and care for someone, which I had never had to do before. One week after I prayed to God that he would give me the strength to end our relationship, I broke up and told her that despite how much I loved her, she would always love me much more than I could return, and that I would rather be alone than hurt her anymore in this situation.
We met two weeks ago, as we had been talking again for a while, and while we were so happy and talkative, with a heavy heart I told her that I could not dissociate our friendship from our intimacy, that I had a great deal of temptation to fight against in her presence, and that I wanted to stop seeing her. What I realized in the following days is how much I cared for her and still loved her, perhaps more than before despite weeks of closeness to God, and that makes me really sad, because I know that she is in a pretty dark place now… She takes drugs to fight depression, she goes on dating sites talking to men who have no interest in helping her, and whether consciously or not, she is still trying to please me by having the same interests that I have had in these past 2 years, instead of becoming herself again.
I so desperately want her to find God and to be at peace, so I can repair what I have broken. I know how presumptuous this sounds, but I feel that nobody in her family and friends is willing to care for her like I hope they would, and I have taken the firm stand to not contact her because getting closer will only make things worse for either of us… Last time I saw her, I gave her a booklet on praying the rosary so she could use the one I had offered her some months ago. I have been praying everyday to Saint Therese of Lisieux for the past two weeks and I have asked my family and Godmother to pray for her as well.
I am still hesitant to talk to her mother as we still go along very well. I feel so stuck because I want to do everything in my power to help this woman that I care for, and I am afraid that my prayers are not enough and that maybe God wants me to do more in the world, yet at the same time I do not want to make things worse because I am so certain I will. If anyone has experience and advice to give on such a situation, I would appreciate it immensely.
Thank you all and God bless.