I simply don’t know how I can help to a family where I was working as an Mother’s help for 18 months. I feel, however, they need help.
I already wrote some threads how they treated me because I’m a Catholic and they are from Church of Scotland. Sadly, it is only the tip of iceberg. You can have a look: forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=180910&highlight=chrpenka
I left that family 8 months ago. They found another helper - they have got 5 small children, so it is understandable.
However, I would like to write these two examples to put it near. I was lucky to get in touch with this helper, a woman from Eastern Europe, and the family don’t know we are in a touch.
She told me that the mother of the family doesn’t knock the door and enters her room whenever she likes. And I know what it is like, I experienced the same…
Another example. I knew that the mother is not dressed at all when she helps to dress her children in the morning. But what happened now: the mother decided to go for 3 day holiday with children and the helper without her husband. They were at the river/lake. Children wanted to go into water. What the mother did was that she undressed herself completely in front of the children and the helper and encouraged children to go into water too. The water was too cold for them, so they did not go.
My friend, the helper, doesn’t speak about this to anyone. The reason is not only her vey basic (lower intermediate) English. When I was in her situation I did the same. I did not speak about it. People did ask me “how are you” question but I felt that most of them did not really want to hear about yet another problem, because everyone is tackling with their own problems.
However, I stayed with this family for 18! months and I love them so much. I would like to help at least to children if I cannot help to parents. Any discussion or dialoque with the mother were in vain.
Talking about it with my friend who works in councelling, she pointed out a good point. That the mother instead of solving her own problems, which seem to be quite deep, she is concentrating on problems of others. She criticises the problems of others and looks down on others.
Sadly, one more and the last example. I was also told by the mother this: “I’m so happy that your mother already died and she cannot see now how bad you behave.”
Anyway, in case you understand the situation (I am aware it might not be crystal clear from my writing) do you have any idea, suggestion, please, what I could do for children & parents of this family? To whom to speak about it with confidentiality and possibly to find any good way of help?