I'd be lying...

…If i said I wasn’t drunk while I was posting this. I am. And this is when I’m at my most vulnerable. Hear me out.

I want to be Catholic. In my heart of hearts I do. I’m a young adult, and basically my dad has blackmailed me into not becoming one, But I do believe it’s Christi’s church,

I feel driven away. I feel persecuted. I’m weeping (drunk as i am) while I write this. I don’t know what to do. I tried to think about doing RCIA and not telling them, because I live in another state. But htey would find out. I’m being dead serious. I ned advice.

I am literally blackmailed because to a point im still financially dependent on my partent, And I do love them. But i need the eucharist. I need Christ. I do. I want to honor my parents, and i can’t just join cause they’d disown me. I go to mass sometimes. I love it. I LOVE IT!

I know the Bible and stuff says not to dirk too much as stuff. I’m sorry. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I long for the day I can join. If this is weird I’m sorry. But I need help.

Hi friend,
Its wonderful that you wish to become Catholic despite the heart-wrenching prejudices your father holds. My advice would be go ahead with RCIA anyway. If you are above 21, that should not be a problem since you are well within your rights to make your own decisions without your parent’s approval.

Searching for the Truth is not about dishonouring your parents. As Jesus Himself said,*"Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; *- Matthew 10:37

Obviously, He did not intend to mean you should literally abandon your parents, but you must do what the Holy Spirit is calling you to do - to love God and follow your instincts.

I was in your shoes once, I was brought up a Brahmin and my family are still staunch Brahmins - but i did what i needed to do, because i knew it was the right thing to do. I went through RCIA without their knowledge and became Catholic a year later. Only after my baptism, did i inform them of my conversion. I still get admonished by my mother for my conversion, but things have soothed out over the years and they are coming to terms with my conversion, slowly but surely. I’ll be honest here and tell you it won’t be an easy journey, but it will be worth it. Drinking to drown your sorrows isn’t going to help. Praying and reading the Bible will. So throw away that bottle and drink the Word of God instead. :slight_smile:

Hi Pollsfriend.I’ll be praying for you.After you get some rest and something to eat,please come back and lets talk.Peace.

Please go and speak to a priest as soon as possible. He may be able to recommend a good spiritual advisor. Know that you are in all of our thoughts and prayers.

Heavenly Father,
Thank you for placing Your Spirit in the heart of pollsfriend.
Give him courage to trust in the you and continue his journey to you.
Help him to see that you will provide for him if he trusts in your goodness and love.
Keep him from being too attached to worldy goods that keep him from you.
Give him the courage and words needed to disarm his parents fears of Your Holy Church and lead them Home as well.
We ask this in Christ’s name


You have my prayers.

The way I see it, you have three choices. First, take the risk and do it. Second, just stay focused on Christ, ride this out and then, when you are able to do so, join up. Thrid, talk to your father, man to man, and find out why he feels like he does. See if he is willing to learn the Faith with you. Let him know that while you are under his roof, you will respect his wishes, but your heart is elsewhere and see if he can understand why. Let him know that this is important to you. Have all of your facts ready and pray a lot about it first.

Drop me a line anytime.

You have had some excellent advice so far, but I have one pondering I would like to add. It sounds like you may be a college student, as you say you are in another state and are financially dependent. My question is, what makes you think they would find out? Perhaps this is an opportunity to develop better boundaries? Yes, you should get into RCIA, or if there is a catholic campus fellowship near you, you should go to that. I hope you come back when you are sober. :wink:

May God bless your struggle.

Can’t a person become a Catholic without RCIA? in my part of the world, am not aware of RCIA. Those who convert, even from Islam, seek a priest to guide them.

To the OP, Jesus already knows what you want…you can go to Mass and ask Jesus for a spiritual communion and give the issue some time to resolve all the while living as a Catholic-to-be. God bless you.

And, no drinking as it solves nothing but damages your health.

In America, it is the normal way of doing it. Usually, because of the number of people interested in the faith, it is easier to do one class a week for everyone. It is not required, as a person can get individual training as they do where you are.

good i thought it was obligatory. So our brother can ask for a priest’s help without jeopardising his relationship with his father, for the time being. I interfered in this thread because i see that converting to Catholicism brings some problems to some in America, specifically the RCIA issue, when in here the only problem is death threats.

We forget how lucky we are. But, in a way, you are more lucky. You can suffer for the Kingdom.

God bless you.

I had a good friend in a similar situation. She hid it from her parents–she was terrified they would find out when she had to get her baptismal records from her old church. Eventually she told them and they were very upset (saying Catholics were devil worshippers, etc.–they’re church was historically very anti-Catholic) But guess what? After a while they got over it–and now they even come to Mass with her when they come visit. I think too they saw the joy and fulfillment it brought her.

I’m not sure what your parents’ background is–sometimes their fears are religiously based, but other times they see it as a betrayal of family heritage (I have another friend from a very ethnic Church who wants to become Catholic who is stuck in that position–she hasn’t made the leap yet).

Thanks for the kind replies everybody. I apologize for the original post. I was in a bad state of mind. But what I said still holds true.

Long story short, I was well on my way to becoming Eastern Orthodox when I took my dad to the divine liturgy. Within ten minutes we stormed out, he berated me for going to a “catholic” church, told me that he saw idolatry running rampant there (I guess referring to the icons) and basically told me if I attend one again the rug will be pulled out. I cannot afford this at this point. So I just stopped going to church altogether (apparently he’d rather have me do this than be Catholic).

The more I study now, for various reasons, I am convinced that I will become Catholic eventually, although probably try to attend and Eastern parish, simply because I love the beauty of the Divine Liturgy.

I have tried to discuss this with my dad, but it’s useless. He has taken everything Jack Chick and Dave Hunt say hook, line, and sinker, and refuses to listen to or read opposing viewpoints. He has never even been to a Catholic Church, and has been to ten minutes of an Orthodox Divine Liturgy. Anyway that’s my situation, and thanks for the advice.

Again, you have my prayers.

I would stay the course, continue to learn the faith and pray, and when you can do so without being disrespectful to your father, join the faith.

I have tried to discuss this with my dad, but it’s useless. He has taken everything Jack Chick and Dave Hunt say hook, line, and sinker, and refuses to listen to or read opposing viewpoints. He has never even been to a Catholic Church, and has been to ten minutes of an Orthodox Divine Liturgy. Anyway that’s my situation, and thanks for the advice.

**This just illustrates what Abp. Sheen once said:

Very few people hate the Catholic faith, but MILLIONS of people hate what they THINK is the Catholic faith.

And if the Catholic faith really were what they hated, Catholics would hate it, too.

Maybe you could tell your dad that?**

Thanks for the update. May I say that I found nothing offensive about your original post. Thank you for bringing your concerns and sorrows to the bretheren here.
May I suggest that you pray a daily Rosary specifically for your dad. That his heart might be softened, his eyes opened and that you be given the grace to guide him out of his mis-conceptions over time. Also Please do continue to attend Mass. Even though you are unable to partake of communion, God will Provide you with so much Grace. Also try to spend some time with Jesus during Eucharistic Adoration. Wonderful, personal, one-on-one time.
I can’t imagine how difficult this must be for you. May God continue to Guide you.



In the words of a great man, “Do Not Be Afraid”. Christ will walk your journey with you. Lay down your troubled heart at His feet and He will pick it up. You must trust in Him. Let Him figure out how to best deal with your parents.

Since my son has been in Iraq (and back safely) I often say this prayer:

My God, send your angels to whisper words of peace in my enemies ears and soften their hearts with tolerance. Amen.

Do the same for your parents. They will not be your only adversaries along this journey. Just know that the Lord is with you and it sounds like you’ve got a prayer chain going! :slight_smile:

Blessings and Peace Be With You.

pollsfriend, you did not offend anyone here. You came to the right place and the good people here can help guide you to the Truth. You’re lucky that you have an Eastern Catholic Church where you are. There is only the Latin Church where i live, but i have attended Orthodox churches and have experienced the beautiful liturgy myself.

I will reiterate my advice to you earlier: Don’t wait. Go ahead with RCIA but before you do that, talk to a priest and tell him of your current situation with your dad. He will pray for you and your dad. RCIA is a long process, so make sure you ask the priest if adjustments can be made to better suit you so you can avoid your dad’s suspicions. The last thing we want is for you to get into trouble, simply for loving and believing in God’s call.

Thank you again for all for all of your responses. It’s so nice to have some support somewhere.

I have to say, one of the single biggest influences on me to look into the Catholic Church was the quote by John Henry Newman “To be deep in history is to cease to be Protestant.”

I steeped myself in the history of the church, and I really have no other choice. It’s still just a matter of timing.

I go to a strictly protestant university as well, and the reactions I get from people here when I try to engage in dialogue about the history of the Church are just shocking sometimes. I can’t believe how ignorant even most of the students engaged in Christian Studies (pastoral etc.) are. Fortunately, I have been blessed with apartment mates who’s opinions range from apathetic to very supportive (even though none are Catholic).

Anyway, I appreciate all of the advice so far, and any further advice is always welcome.

O and I have another question. Would it be wrong of me to purchase a rosary and start praying it, even though I’m not Catholic? I do already wear a St. Mary and St. Jude Medallion around my neck. I chose St. Jude because he is the patron of desperate and seemingly lost causes.

Absolutely not! Purchase and pray away!

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.