As most of you know I am still in the midst of this divorce…thank God I have already been granted a decree of nullity…God is so good!!!
My husband, who before the annulment was being pretty nice and decent, is now being a jerk about the settlement and custody:mad:. I never really put two and two together till the other day when I was thinking about the whole situation. He started acting this way AFTER the marriage was annulled and I think that he’s mad over the fact that I am FREE from him.
He knew how seriously I took my vow of marriage and he knew that if I never was given that decree of nullity that I would never date or marry again, which is one reason I believe he married me. Now, he’s giving me a hard time with this divorce and it’s all about the money…he really doesn’t care that much about ds, he believes that as long as he’s providing financially he’s taking care of ds. I’m sure he has his hands full with all the babies that have come after ds with other women, anyway, that’s besides the point I guess.
Well, here’s my dilemma, I would like to ask him to support us for one more year. In that year I will build my business and do whatever I need to do to live without his financial contribution, in terms of spousal support and child support. In exchange I want him to give up his parental rights. As I’ve prayed about this day after day and night after night I think it would be the best thing to do for ds and I. I started thinking of what would happen to ds if something was to happen to me and I couldn’t be here to raise him. The thought of my husband taking him scared the heck out of me:eek:!!!
I know that ds would have a terrible, unstable, immoral upbringing. Not to mention the addictions that he would witness and stepmother after stepmother. The sheer thought makes me tremble. I know that if he didn’t have paternal rights anymore and if something were to happen to me I could have my family raise him. I know they would raise ds the way I would to raise him, they have my same values and morals and they are very stable people.
Another thing is that when we were together he talked about getting 50% custody of one of his kids, since she was much older now (13yo) and she could take care of herself, this so that he wouldn’t have to pay any more child support for her. He didn’t care that she lives in CA and he’s in IL or that she’s never lived with him, she didn’t even have regular visits with him. I told him this was an age that she needed to be with her mother, he said he didn’t care, that he was tired of paying child support for her:eek:. I am positive that he would do that with ds also, so I’d rather just take care of that problem right now.
What do you all think about this? Do you think he would go for it? Am I being selfish (I will tell ds about his dad and if/when he wants to see him I will allow that and encourage it as long as his dad doesn’t cause ds any harm…physical or emotional)? Your words of wisdom will be greatly appreciated:thumbsup:!!!