Based on my observations from this forum and from my own life, I think it would be useful to share ideas on how married couples can achieve a special level of intimacy that is unique to their married state and not similar to say a relationship with a friend, sibling parent etc. There are a lot of couples out there that can’t have normal marital relations for years due to either medical concerns or for psychological reasons (for example issues with past sexual abuse that surface after several years of marriage, severe PPD). For me anyway the lack of sex is one thing and tolerable, the real tough thing is fighting the feeling that you in some ways aren’t really married (of course you are) and in a special relationship, missing out on sharing loving experiences. Anyway there seems to be a real need to connect in an intimate way without running afoul of the moral law. It is important so the couples don’t drift apart nor seek intimacy elsewhere.
Here are a couple of simple things that I have come up with.
Go to bed at the same time and fall asleep together. Simple but it not only keeps you close and connected, it does so in a way that no other person can really do. (It also keeps people away from any late night temptations while the other is asleep.)
Give neck, head and feet massages in the morning as the other spouse wakes up. For us this is not a time that would normally associate with marital relations so it remains personal and intimate, but not anyway connected with sex or causing sexual desires that can not be fulfilled.
Have a routine to drink morning coffee or tea together before the kids get up and talk. This can be done with anybody true, but not consistently 5 minutes after you awake every day.
Does anybody else have any ideas along these lines? I think it could be helpful for a lot of folks. Thanks.