If getting married, but your future spouse didn't have Sacrament of Confirmation, what happens?

This was actually the situation my dad had when he was getting married, both my parents are Catholic, but at the time they found out my dad had been baptized etc, but not confirmed, but this was in a different country.

So how is a situation like this handled in the USA usually ? RCIA classes usually take a year, don;t they and the person might be getting married before that. This is for a person who just needs the Confirmation sacrament.

As I understand it now, Confirmation is not always a prerequisite for Marriage. At least, not all parishes mandate it. Canon Law strongly suggests it. Usually adults who have not been Confirmed really need RCIA.

It is, however, a good ‘Catholic Guilt’ way of getting kids to stay in Faith Formation through Confirmation.

The person should talk to their pastor. Classes are not required to receive confirmation. If their pastor feels they’re ready for confirmation he can confirm him at the Easter Vigil without any requirements.

neither my uncle nor my aunt were confirmed, yet they still were married in the church. but idk what process they had to go through, but just to let you know it was still possible

Confirmation appears to be strongly recommended by not absolutely required. Father Rob Ruhnke addresses this here.

Also note that RCIA is not an absolute requirement.

Not to mention that RCIA is the wrong education program for a practicing Catholic who hasn’t been confirmed yet. :slight_smile:

The correct answer here is… what, PREP? Not sure how much fun an adult would have in a PREP class.

To this extent, it might actually be good to put them in an RCIA program. Certainly, in some senses, it’s a tad like driving in a deck nail with a sledge hammer.

Yeah, it might be a bit extreme… but just wait until you go to build a deck and have a nail that won’t drive. :smiley:

As we were preparing for our wedding, this exact situation happened to us. Because we were already in the pre-cana classes, the priest met privately with my husband to prepare him to be confirmed and my husband was confirmed about a month before our wedding. It was pretty simple really. I had the wonderful opportunity to be my husband’s sponsor.

Now, when my husband’s sister was getting married by the same priest and neither she nor her husband to be were confirmed nor wanted to be (can’t understand that myself), he would not officiate at a nuptial mass for them, they had the ceremony only. I don’t know if that is standard procedure or not.

My BIL wasn’t confirmed yet but hey liked a date and wanted to get married on that date. What happens is that there is no full Mass, just the Wedding Rite. And there are no other Sacraments (like the Eucharist, obviously because there is no Mass) other than Marriage.

Our diocese has adult Confirmation classes every year. You don’t put the adults in with the teens preparing for Confirmation but since the Bishop/pastor is supposed to assure himself that the person is prepared, a class is a uniform way to do that. It depend on how Catechized the person is and how much adult formation he/she already has had.

RCIA is supposed to be about chosing to be Catholic. Someone who is only missing Confirmation isn’t being offered that choice nor would they be participating in the rites leading up to Confirmation with the candidates or catechumens. It’s not about the amount but the content.

My husband and I were married with a full Nuptial Mass and my husband has never been confirmed. That was 41 years ago, and I believe they place more emphasis on it and strongly encourage it today (as they should), but it is not an absolute requirement. And yes, you can have a Nuptuial Mass, at least around here.

The correct solution to this is return to Apostolic practice and confirm and communicate infants. They need all the extra grace, especially in today’s world.

I think the Church wants better Catechized Catholics and thus wants kids to be educated first before receiving Confirmation. I guess this also prevents those who become lukewarm to the faith from receiving Confirmation.

A point worth considering but as a counter-point it’s worth mentioning that the sacraments of Baptism, Communion and Confirmation are given to infants all at once in some rites as is also commonplace in the Orthodox Church. I’ve seen much suprise shown by some Catholics when they realise that in some rites of the Church the Eucharist and Confirmation are adminstered to infants. Admittedly it would be a mistake to introduce this practise in the Latin rite as it would cause unneccesary tension and arguments but it just shows the variety of practises on the issue.

Can. 1065 §1. Catholics who have not yet received the sacrament of confirmation are to receive it before they are admitted to marriage if it can be done without grave inconvenience.

If I’m not mistaken, and somebody correct me if I’m wrong, in the Diocese of Phoenix, they have gone to give the sacrament of Baptism first, then confirmation, then communion. I know that in the parish I belonged to which was a ASU, they baptize first, then when a child is ready for their First Communion, they will of course go to reconciliation. The next day the bishop comes, confirms them right after the homily, then the children receive their First Communion. My understanding is that this was the order of the Sacraments many years ago and in many Dioceses, they are going back to that. My only problem with it is that in many parishes, we will not ever see the child again after receiving their first communion, until they are ready to get married. Of course that still happens today in that once a teen is confirmed, say 14,15,16, 17, or 18, we never see them again. Better and strong faith formation is absolutely needed. Situations as we see constantly, that a person comes go to the pastor with ants in their pants that they need to get confirmation because they need to get married, should never happen with better faith formation and children taught properly.
I have a nephew, fifteen, who I will be helping, and is going to start confirmation classes, does not even know what the Act of Contrition is, does not know what the Apostles creed is, knows nothing about the Rosary, and so many other things that I kept telling him that he should have known all those things by the time he made his First Communion.

Oh, and yes through pastoral reasons they priest can marry somebody even if they are not confirmed. But here again, the priest has to take care and EDUCATE THE COUPLE ON THE IMPORTANCE OF THE SACRAMENTS.

So little emphasis is given nowadays to the sacraments and most of the CCD classes deal with social equality.

I made a comment once when my son was in High School and I would help out in the religion classes that it seemed that the students knew more about Caesar Chavez than about Jesus Christ.

(sorry for the rant)

RCIA is not an issue, that is for non-Catholics who wish to enter the Church. YOu begin by visiting the priest who will prepare you for marriage. You tell him all the circumstances. He will arrange for you to begin preparation for confirmation, which should occur before your wedding date. Since it takes at least 6 months to complete marriage preparation in most dioceses, since most weddings take place in the spring and summer, and since most bishops confirm in the spring, there is usually enough time. Even if perhaps confirmation is scheduled after your wedding date, that is not an absolute barrier, but a Catholic should be fully initiated before asking for the sacrament of matrimony. The priest is right to question his readiness for the demands of marriage if he has not asked for the sacrament which strengthens the gifts of the Holy Spirit and prepares us for bearing life’s crosses.

not in this diocese. The faculty to confirm adults is granted only for those he baptizes or who he is bringing into full communion. Poster must visit her own priest in her own diocese, that is, the adult seeking confirmation must do that, it can’t by done by a fiance or parent.

fun does not exactly enter into it, every parish or diocese can direct you to a confirmation preparation session designed for adult Catholics in this situation. It is to my mind insanity to attempt marriage if you are not even willing to embrace fully your Christian vocation and do not have the desire for the fullness of the Holy Spirit in your life.

not in this diocese. The faculty to confirm adults is granted only for those he baptizes or who he is bringing into full communion. Poster must visit her own priest in her own diocese, that is, the adult seeking confirmation must do that, it can’t by done by a fiance or parent.

Theologically, that is correct. In the Latin Rite one can be confirmed without knowing anything – babies who are baptized in danger of death can be confirmed at that time if the priest has the sacred chrism with him. OTOH, one must know the difference between regular bread and the consecrated bread and be able to receive reverently before one is admitted to Communion.

For 9 years in our diocese the order of the sacraments was restored and children were confirmed in the same celebration but before they made their first Communion. Unfortunately, when our diocese was suppressed and a much larger one erected, that changed to fall into line with what the other former diocese had been doing. We were confirming at age 7 they were confirming at age 15-16. Now confirmation is anytime between grades 6-10 (so ages 11-15). There is only one Catholic school in our diocese.

It is my understanding that our Greek and other Orthodox brethren Baptize their babies immediately followed by Confirmation and 1st Holy Communion - all at the same Mass.

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.