If her dad owns a shotgun


#1

If her dad owns a shotgun (or shotguns), should I be concerned? Obviously, I'm not from parts of the country where gun ownership is fairly commonplace or from a military/law enforcement family. I don't intend to do anything that would trigger the use of said shotguns, either. But still, it does kind of concern me. Am I justified in having these concerns, or should I just suck it up and be a man?


#2

As a single mom, I hope my boys only date girls whose dads have shotguns.


#3

[quote="graceandglory, post:2, topic:177723"]
As a single mom, I hope my boys only date girls whose dads have shotguns.

[/quote]

Why's that? Wouldn't you be concerned about your boys' safety?


#4

No, if you behave yourself! ;)


#5

My guess is he hunts or enjoys going to the gun club to shoot. Doesn't mean anything about the man himself. Why not ask her?


#6

When I was in high school, my older brother answered the door holding a shotgun. It kept them in line. FWIW, my brother can look really scary, but he is very sweet.


#7

As long as he seems sane and doesn’t seem to obsess over his gun…or his daughter, I think it’s fine. If he seems a bit off, then he probably is, and his owning a gun might make me worry.


#8

Not at all. :cool:
Hopefully he can also teach them how to use it.


#9

Just make sure you don't do anything to his daughter that would make him want to use it.:D


#10

I can't believe the condoning/enabling of murder in this post by mothers..., you are Catholic, you are no to kill anyone! Period. If a boy gets out of hand, a girl should not go off alone with him. She is just as much to blame as the boy. There is no rule that states a man is the only person of discretion. Teach your children correctly and you won't have to answer a question like this as you are all for watching a public lynching of sorts.

Guns kill! Accidents happen. People use them wrong or to intimidate and scare people. No one in a family should think it is normal to have the father carry a shotgun..., eventually the generations after think that's normal discipline. How about a father teach his son to be a gentleman. No guns necessary. Can you imagine St. Joseph teaching Jesus how to murder if they were wronged? What in the heck did you guys have in your turkey yesterday?


#11

Does he keep it under his arm while you're around? Does he use it to point to things? Has he pointed it at you? Does he belong to a secret militia? Does your girlfriend think you need a shotgun to be a man? (Might be a good thing to ask...)

If no to these, probably not something to worry about. Or, you could take shooting lessons and join the fun.


#12

About 50 years ago there was a small town in EU that had this kind of scenario, girl went off with boy in their teens and she willingly did what he wanted, and she turned up pregnant, she told him, he bailed to another country. Well the father and the brother literally followed him about 700 miles away and shot him dead for what he did. Was it right?

This is the same area that encourages a woman to marry her rapist or abusive bf in order to keep the family unit in tact.

Honestly what do you all think about this kind of scenario?


#13

How did you find out he owns shotguns? I think some context would help determine if the man is off his nut. Does he hunt?

I own many guns, including shotguns, and I am a well balanced individual. I would never threaten anyone with them.


#14

Just owning one - where it’s legal and there’s a long-standing tradition (“the right to bear arms shall not be infringed”) - probably shouldn’t breed to much concern. Shotgun jokes, however, should, and it’s not acceptable to point a weapon at someone who doesn’t perfectly well realise that the weapon isn’t loaded. I would be concerned about future in-laws making gun jokes. Obviously, boisterous good-natured Western-style fatherly remarks are not the same as real or feigned threats of violence, but still could be worrying to someone from a different local culture. Besides, acting if as if own daughter’s or other relative’s prospective marriage partner needs to be subdued by fear or else he will harm the woman doesn’t seem to me to be compatible with human dignity. Plus, it does seem to be a likely criminal offence, details depending on jurisdiction. I would not tolerate that from even a future father-in-law and I would deal with it harshly. I won’t provide the details for obvious reasons,


#15

Wow, dude would rather get shot than marry this girl? That’s gotta be pretty bad for the girl’s self-confidence.


#16

I don't condone murder, but I did grow up where kids learned to shoot guns. Because that is how we got dinner and protected our livestock. I had my first gun when I was eight years old. So guns were common. And no messes with a woman who can hit her target while half awake. :)


#17

[quote="kib, post:13, topic:177723"]
How did you find out he owns shotguns? I think some context would help determine if the man is off his nut. Does he hunt?

I own many guns, including shotguns, and I am a well balanced individual. I would never threaten anyone with them.

[/quote]

I forget exactly how the topic came up in conversation. I don't know that much about her dad at all, but from what I can gather, he seems to be an upstanding person. I believe he hunts, and so does she. I believe the guns passed down in the family.


#18

Well this coincides with the first couple lines in post 10, 2nd paragraph. My mother had a father just like this. If a man liked my mother and she did not like them in the same way, she would always use her father with the shotgun story to ward them off in fear.


#19

Really guys, how attractive can a woman be if she says that my father will shoot you or she herself can shoot you dead every time you make a foul up or offend her. Come on, are all of you prone to letting bullys win? Then you will always be controlled in the relationship. You're not doormats.


#20

Assuming that he has never threatened you with the guns, or showed them to you in a meaningful fashion (e.g. “I’m a really good shot with these, and I think the world of my daughter.”) or anything like that, the answer is: Man up.

OTOH, if he threatened you in any way, I’d talk to the girl about it and find out more about what he is like, and drop her like a hot potato if she condones violence.

It would seem to be more to the point to find out whether he is from a part of the country (AFAIK, most of it) where gun ownership is common or is from a military/law enforcement family. Or maybe he just did 4 years in one of the services to put himself through school. Or maybe he just enjoys skeet shooting or hunting or target practice or whatever. Why shouldn’t he own a gun, if he’s not threatening anyone or doing anything illegal with it? He probably has weed killer, too, but nobody seems to be worried that he’ll poison anyone.

All this is assuming you are in the US where gun ownership is commonplace. If you are somewhere else where it is probable that the guns he owns are illegal, it may be an issue. But probably not.

–Jen


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