If i had a history of masturbating but not a history of pre-marriage sex, am i still considered a virgin?


#1

In the past, before i became as religious as i am now i masturbated but i have never commited pre-marriage sex. Does that make a virgin or not?


#2

Modern Catholic Dictionary:

VIRGINITY. The state of bodily integrity in either sex. This integrity may be physical or moral, and either factual or intentional. Physical virginity is sometimes defined as the absence of any sinfully experienced lustful sensation. But, strictly speaking, a person is physically a virgin unless he or she has had sexual intercourse with a person of the opposite sex. Moral virginity means the absence of any willful consent to venereal pleasure; again, strictly speaking, with a person of the opposite sex. Virginity is factual when, de facto, a person has not in the past sought or indulged in sexual pleasure; it is intentional when a person intends never to experience such pleasure, according to the previous distinctions made. (Etym. Latin virgo, maiden, virgin.)


#3

If you take it to the extreme then you can look at the definition above and make of it as you will but I would say that you are still a virgin in the practical aspect of the word. When anyone hears that someone is no longer a virgin it is almost always assumed that they had sex with another person. I say almost because there are those who will stick to the letter of the law and say that any sexual pleasure constitutes sex and therefore no longer makes one a virgin. So, if I were you I would consider myself a virgin and be proud that you saved having relations with another until marriage. Masturbation can start at a very early age and even become habitual. We have to be careful when making generalizations because it could be detrimental to our self esteem and future relationships. Rhetoric is one thing and what you actually did is another.

This is my opinion and for any out there who wish to throw tomatoes my way make sure that you have been chaste since birth and/or considered yourself a non-virgin even if you masturbated once when you were five years old. That’s how sticky this topic can get.


#4

Going by worldly terms will make you go nuts, because everyone has a different opinion. There are some who say masturbating or watching pornography means you have lost your virginity, others say you’ve lost it even if it wasn’t consensual (Rape or sexual abuse). I’ve never heard a rational, solid Catholic (Clergy or otherwise) say experiencing any pleasure whatsoever means you have lost your virginity, and I take what they say with a lot more weight than what a society that convinced itself abortion isn’t murder thinks. So, congratulations! Your wife will really appreciate this gift you have preserved for her one day.


#5

In almost every sense of the word, you are still a virgin. However, I do believe that a prior instance of intentional masturbation precludes you from consecrated virginity (assuming you are female), so from a very strictly, deeply theological definition of virginity, no. But as another poster mentioned, claiming you are not a virgin will make everyone assume that you have had sex with another person and would unnecessarily cause scandal, so for all practical purposes, you are a virgin, yes.


#6

Yes. You are a virgin.

.


#7

Here is how I would look at this: You are a virgin unless you’ve had actual sexual intercourse and I mean penetration.

There’s so many definitions out there about virginity, but what they are getting with masturbating or looking lustfully at losing someone is a loss of the innocence of being all pure in terms of never sexually sinned.

I would certainly consider you a virgin, and frankly, unless you are dating an old school moral theologian, I see no reason to say that you yourself are not a virgin.


#8

I agree. :thumbsup:


#9

No it doesn’t. Cardinal Burke sought clarification from Rome on what is required for those consecrated to a life of virginity. One must not have lived in open violation against chastity. So, if you’re a stripper who has never had sex, you can’t be consecrated as a virgin.


#10

Timi the more important question is surely, “why is this trivial physical matter important to you?”
Are you able to dig deeper into your concerns and tell us why…


#11

Just for clarification, you are agreeing with me that masturbation precludes one from being a consecrated virgin, right? That’s how I’m reading your post, but the “No it doesn’t” line confused me a bit.


#12

Wait, are you saying that you can’t become a priest or religious unless you’ve never mortally sinned against chastity? That seems like an odd statement…


#13

But SMGS127 said consecrated virgin, not priest or religious.


#14

Virgin.


#15

Oh, I guess I didn’t realize that was a separate thing. I’ll have to find out more about that, thanks :slight_smile:


#16

Yes, Havard is correct. You can be a priest or a member of a religious community if you are no longer a virgin, but you cannot become a consecrated virgin if you have sexually sinned in virtually any manner (sex, masturbation, stripping, etc.).

Yes, it’s quite a wonderful path for women :). Many of our Saints were consecrated virgins!


closed #17

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