If I were to return to The Church-marriage recognized?


#1

I never was confirmed-long story there, and opted to not continue being Catholic.
Still not sure I will return (that kind of dialogue will be elsewhere in the forum). I’m married to a non Catholic, not one iota of Catholic background and no way ever would be.
We were married by a justice of the peace.
If I returned to the Church-what would be the view on my marriage? There is no way my spouse would ever become Catholic. Absolutely no chance. I could easily return right now and at some point look into adult Confirmation.


#2

Were you a baptized Catholic at the time of your marriage? If so and if your marriage was not done according to the Church, you would need to have your marriage convalidated. Your spouse’s religion doesn’t matter unless she is unbabtized. Even then, it’s a matter usually of some extra paperwork.

Welcome back!


#3

On one hand, there’s the fact that you are a baptized Catholic, and therefore, in order to have a valid sacramental marriage, you must (at least attempt to) follow the form of the sacrament of marriage. When a Catholic does not do so, such as in a wedding before a justice of the peace, ((edited to add: ) as Cider says, without a dispensation from form) then there is no valid sacramental marriage.

You don’t mention whether your spouse is Christian, just that he’s not Catholic. Is the reticence on his part from a prejudice against the Catholic Church, or is it that he’s hostile to Christianity? It is possible to get a dispensation from elements of form in the case of a Catholic who marries a non-Catholic; you would talk to your priest to get more info.

There are other considerations, based on your life histories, as well. Is this the first attempt at marriage for both of you? If not, then the question of whether you’re free to marry is necessary to be asked.

Anyway, your question just asks how the Church views your present marriage: it would say that it’s not a valid, sacramental marriage. This doesn’t mean that there aren’t things that you might be able to do, that could make it valid and sacramental…


#4

You're Catholic and were not married in the Church and I'm guessing also didn't get a dispensation to marry outside the Church, so your marriage is invalid. If this is the first marriage for both of you, you can just get your marriage convalidated. Whether or not your marriage would be sacramental after convalidation would depend on the baptismal status of your husband.

Just ring up your local parish priest and make an appointment to discuss your situation.


#5

[quote="Cider, post:4, topic:320243"]
You're Catholic and were not married in the Church and I'm guessing also didn't get a dispensation to marry outside the Church, so your marriage is invalid. If this is the first marriage for both of you, you can just get your marriage convalidated. Whether or not your marriage would be sacramental after convalidation would depend on the baptismal status of your husband.

Just ring up your local parish priest and make an appointment to discuss your situation.

[/quote]

Cider is correct.

nora_b, you seem to indicate great resistance on the part of your spouse to being involved with a religious ceremony. If your spouse refuses to have your marriage convalidated, ask your priest about "radical sanation". Essentially, this is the reverse of an annulment. The Church investigates what is apparently an invalid marriage with the goal of determining that it is a valid one.


#6

You need to make an appointment with a priest to discuss your return to the Church and your marriage situation. Under no circumstances will your spouse be required to become Catholic against their will, but you will at some point will be required to have your marriaged recognized by the Church and that will involve both of you.


#7

Maybe.

Convalidation would involve the exchange of consent in the Catholic form. But the OP may also be a candidate for Radical Sanation. This is a good choice if the spouse refuses to be involved in the process.

nora_b, please make an appointment to talk to the pastor of your local Catholic Church. He will help you step by step.


#8

I have no advice to the original question but did want to say that I’m glad you’re investigating the church.


#9

[quote="Corki, post:2, topic:320243"]
Were you a baptized Catholic at the time of your marriage? If so and if your marriage was not done according to the Church, you would need to have your marriage convalidated. Your spouse's religion doesn't matter unless she is unbabtized. Even then, it's a matter usually of some extra paperwork.

Welcome back!

[/quote]

Yes. I am baptized Catholic. My husband is baptized Protestant.
I know then I could always look into convalidation if I opted to do so. thanks for replying!


#10

[quote="Gorgias, post:3, topic:320243"]
On one hand, there's the fact that you are a baptized Catholic, and therefore, in order to have a valid sacramental marriage, you must (at least attempt to) follow the form of the sacrament of marriage. When a Catholic does not do so, such as in a wedding before a justice of the peace, ((edited to add: ) as Cider says, without a dispensation from form) then there is no valid sacramental marriage.

You don't mention whether your spouse is Christian, just that he's not Catholic. Is the reticence on his part from a prejudice against the Catholic Church, or is it that he's hostile to Christianity? It is possible to get a dispensation from elements of form in the case of a Catholic who marries a non-Catholic; you would talk to your priest to get more info.

There are other considerations, based on your life histories, as well. Is this the first attempt at marriage for both of you? If not, then the question of whether you're free to marry is necessary to be asked.

Anyway, your question just asks how the Church views your present marriage: it would say that it's not a valid, sacramental marriage. This doesn't mean that there aren't things that you might be able to do, that could make it valid and sacramental...

[/quote]

Hello there: Goodness no: My husband is not hostile or prejudice at all. He's actually quite religious in his own right. He was baptized in a Protestant tradition but does not at this time formally practice that tradition per se. It's hard to explain, but he absolutely is not hostile about this and if it were my desire, he would convert if I asked him to. But he would not become Catholic otherwise. The reason I said no way would he ever be is because I would not request that of him. We both attended a Protestant church for several years (different denomination from his childhood one). I left the Church years before he and I met so that this Protestant church attendance was my own decision and in fact, my request, and he honored it. It did not involve anything major to it and we both ended up disengaging from attending. I was probably the more disillusioned one! Husband would support me becoming Catholic again. The issue of whether I chose to pursue convalidation will rest squarely on me. Thank you for the reply and I appreciate all feedback.


#11

EEK. Did not mean to convey resistance on my spouse’s part. Resisitance is mine. He’d convert if I really wanted him to and I would not ask that of him because his religion is his choice in my opinion. He would have our marriage convalidated if I asked him. I haven’t gotten this far since I myself have not come back to the Church yet. Husband has quite religiousness to him in his own right, more than mine in fact. He was baptized in a Protestant tradition in his childhood, etc. But anyhow-it seems I would ring up my parish priest on any account just to talk.
I wonder where that would leave me in terms of being able to take communion etc if I remain in an unvalidated in the eyes of the Church marriage. (I of course find my marriage very valid)


#12

[quote="Catholic1954, post:6, topic:320243"]
You need to make an appointment with a priest to discuss your return to the Church and your marriage situation. Under no circumstances will your spouse be required to become Catholic against their will, but you will at some point will be required to have your marriaged recognized by the Church and that will involve both of you.

[/quote]

My spouse would be involved happily if I ask him to. I'd never demand it. So we shall see what happens from here. It's up to me.


#13

:):):):):slight_smile: Thanks!


#14

[quote="nora_b, post:11, topic:320243"]

I wonder where that would leave me in terms of being able to take communion etc if I remain in an unvalidated in the eyes of the Church marriage. (I of course find my marriage very valid)

[/quote]

It wouuld leave you unable to receive the sacraments.


#15

If your husband has no objection to a Convalidation, and can comitt to alowing you to follow the teaching of the Church in your Marriage then provided that neither of you have an impediment to marriage (previous marriages civilly ended in divorce, where the former spouse is still alive or other impediments) then there is no reason from what you have said why you cant have your marriage con-validated.

you both would benefit greatly from the process.
God Blesses any marriage which asks for his Blessing. Ask and it shall be given unto you.

On the issue of your husband being willing or otherwise to convert: if he converted to keep you happy that would not (superficially speaking) be a good thing. Conversion needs to come from the heart.

My sister in Law is converting from a protestant faith to Catholicism after 15 years of marriage to my brother. It has been a long journey for her, and has never been the result of pressure from my brother or anyone else in my family.
Exposure to the true expression of the Catholic faith,the prayers of those around her gradually, and ultimately the Grace of God through the power of the Holy Spirit won her over to the Truth.

If you can come back to The Church, fall in Love with Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament, and Live the life He asks you to then your faith will save you and your family. Your husband may be ultimately converted by your witness and prayers - but the end result will be in the hands of the Holy Spirit.

May God Bless you and may you keep listening to His Call.

If you ever want to you can PM me to respond to any questions you may have. It’s normally best if the Question is on the public forum, and I will reply there if that’s how you post your question.


#16

Nope–hubby would have no objection to a convalidation.
and if he did opt to convert, he would initiate because I asked him to, but there is no way he would convert if it weren’t authentic. It’s hard to explain. I would never make a demand like that nor him anything similar. He’d have to super study and know for sure-no way he is a person who signs on the dotted line! But he’s a very kind person who is open-minded.
If anything–I do not seek him to convert. A convalidation would be enough for me if I so were to go down this route. I will just have to see what happens.


#17

God Bless you nora_b and good luck with your journey. I hope it brings you back to the church!


#18

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