If molestation isn't a sin,how do I know where my sin starts?


#1

I am 21, and over a number of years from when I was little (4) till I was about 11, there were instances of molestaion I suppose you could call it, perpetrated by family friends etc etc.
Now afte a number of years I have accpeted that those at that stage weren’t my fault and therefore not a sin.
But I also went a bit “nuts”, would go looking for bad situations because I believed then that I was going to hell. Where do you stop saying, ‘well it’s because of this or that, that I did this’, giving excuses where they do not belong.

I seem to be backtracking in my thinking and I’m not sure what to do at the moment. I want to just forget and move on with life, but I don’t know what to do about my past and the things I have done as well.


#2

I would suggest just making a general confession. You can go through everything you think may be a sin and those that were will be forgiven, and then you can move on.


#3

But I also went a bit “nuts”, would go looking for bad situations because I believed then that I was going to hell.

You are right IMO that because you realized that what happened was the result of the sins of others and not yourself, that you didn’t commit sin in the first place.

If I remember some posts from ewtn’s FAQ’s correctly, knowing CORRECTLY that something is a sin to begin with forms the basis for calling something that was done was sinful. i.e. if you didn’t know that IVF was considered a sin by the church, had IVF and found out afterwards that it was considered morally wrong, its not something you have to confess. Again, if you didn’t know it was sinful in the first place how can you be held accountable?

To turn that around in terms of thinking something IS morally wrong for you when it wasn’t. Since you engaged in reckless behavior thinking you commited a wrong, I would forgive your for it because your basis for your behavior was not grounded correctly.

Forgive yourself for what you’ve done. Even in convoluted moral issues like this where you could say that something isn’t a sin, it never hurts to open up in confession and let the priest give you absolution if there is still any dooubt in your mind.

may God give you peace…HHmom


#4

Be at peace: Jesus isn’t looking for an opportunity to hold you accountable and punish you–he wants to forgive you and keep you close to Him. Make your confession, let Him do His work, and don’t look back.


#5

God bless you.

Of course you have some responsibility for your choice to seek sexual experiences later, but I pray you can begin to move forward to flourish wholesomely in your life.

If you went looking for bad situations I would believe that your self-esteem was low, and others’ abuse of you form age four left you feeling guilty as if you were to blame for their sins against you. To feel thus isn’t unusual for victims of childhood abuse. In your situation, in Confession I’d mention the childhood abuse and confess whatever guilt might be present for your later behavior, but it’s also very important for you to pray and seek whatever help you need to deal with these past injuries healthily, but I’m sure you know that.

I am profoundly sad, that the little girl that you were, was so sinned against; and I ask God to heal you in forgiveness of those who sinned against you, for your own freedom of spirit. And I ask of God a new beginning for you.


#6

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.