[quote="pollynova, post:3, topic:321160"]
I know he doesn't want to marry her. Because until he found she was pregnant, all he talked about was how much he liked this other girl. And he's never really had anything good to say about his current girlfriend. (Aside from sex, that is.) But if even half of what he tells me is true, he should go after full custody. All of that is for a different thread though.
My husband and I had an unplanned pregnancy at the beginning of our relationship. We ended up putting the child up for adoption. Neither of us were ready to be married or be parents. We ended up getting married about a year after we relinquished custody of the child. It was tough, but that was our situation. He supported me through the pregnancy. It was far from ideal, but we made the best out of a bad situation.
Both of us came from chaotic family situations/single parents and didn't want to raise a child in one. Neither of us wanted to be single parents or have "drama". That was a huge reason why we chose a two-parent (man+woman) Christian family to parent the child. Since we placed the child, the family has adopted several more kids and they were able to parent when we weren't in a position to do that job.
These days, adoptions a lot more open than they have been in the past. We exchange letters and pictures a couple of times a year. Other arrangements are more open and include visitation w/the child and adoptive family.
He has to be honest about where he is in life and adoption might be an option for them to seriously consider. (But that does require both parties to sign away their rights to the child).
On the other hand, one of my HS friends got pregnant right before graduation. She and the guy got married and they are still together and happy.
It's great that the coworker's not trying to figure out how to pay for an abortion, but I'd advise extreme caution if he thinks that getting married because there's a baby is on the way is a best idea in the situation. Sometimes (for the kid) being in a single parent home is a lot than living in a two-parent home when the parents can't stand each other.
It's honorable that he wants to do the "right" thing, but marriage should be a joyful event that shouldn't be rushed into, regardless of the circumstances. There's no reason why they can't get married after the baby is born. And some parents don't get married, but just live together. Or they have shared custody.....
I'm not saying that some of these are ideal choices, but he's not in an ideal position.
I'm glad that he's got a good "friend" in his life w/whom he can discuss these things.
Good luck to you both.