When someone is hurting and making sacrifices for you, because he loves you, how much is too much?
My boyfriend only lives in Korea because I live here. He hates his job, but can’t change because he’s locked into it by his work visa. It pays barely enough to live on here, but enough to support his two daughters at home in the Philippines. He works 12 hour days six days a week in a factory 90 minutes from where I live. I see him once or twice a week.
We are very much in love, but this lifestyle is killing him. He’s always tired and he tries hard to be happy, but he doesn’t like his life right now. He’s only here because he’s dating me, and because having a regular income here ensures that he can support his daughters at home.
In the Philippines, he has his own business, a taxi company. It has been falling apart in his absence. His plan was to work in Korea only one year, then go home and use the money he’d saved to improve the company. Well, crisis after crisis hit and he’s not saving any money. His company is falling apart without him, and he’s still here because he met me here.
Now he’s reached a crossroads. An employee stole a bunch of money and disappeared. He basically has two choices - go back to the Philippines and work hard to put his business back together, or stay here with me and sell the business’s assets to pay off the business loans.
I know I should tell him to go home and save his business, but I can’t bring myself to do it. I have a year left in my Master’s degree here in Korea. I couldn’t afford to finish the degree if I moved to the Philippines with him - salaries are too low there. He could go and leave me here for one year, but I know it would drive me crazy to be separated for a year.
He’s made so many sacrifices for me - being away from his daughters longer, working hard at a job he hates, being away from his country and his family. There are two sacrifices I could make for him - I could give up the master’s degree or I could let him go back home where he needs to be.
It’s hard to get a teaching job without a master’s degree, so I’m afraid to give that up. And it’s hard enough living in a different town and seeing each other just once a week - how could I handle being in different countries? But on the other hand, how can I live with myself if I let him dissolve the company he built himself just so I wouldn’t be inconvenienced?
What should I do?