I want to express this, you may think it wrong.
I must tell you this is only 1/2 the situation.
I have often ( I think the spirit led me to say) said Lord give me a job where I can glorify You.
I now have a job doing maintenance (ground cleanliness).
My job is to work with a person 1/2 my age, who no other person will work with, who uses the most foul words only heard in gangs or barn yard .and other words to in every sentence, no matter who he is with or where we are at. We work at the main hospital. It was so hard for me, and because i thought I was going to take his place as lead hand (as I was told by the boss) which now will not come about, so I would get angry at his not being professional, not finishing jobs Jobs started 4 weeks ago, and doing homework.
I wondered what God was doing. 3 months in asked God what I could do since every person asked me how I could work with him.
I felt the Lord telling me to let go of the thought of taking the lead hand job on. I did and that eased the situation, we started getting on better. The language was still there, and he loses things every day or two. Unprofessional practice has cost the company $thousands per month,and he doesn’t care. I cry out to Jesus asking Him what He is doing and trying to allow Jesus to change me since this person cannot of his own o cord even though he was a Christian.
I cannot turn a blind eye and have told the boss I am not to blame for the amount of implements and vehicles damaged. We went to the cafeteria yesterday and one of the waitresses came to us to say hello, the work mate said, “now you can f… off”, and laughed. I was so shocked I didn’t know what to do and the look on her face, she was so hurt.
Latter that day, we went into a garden where the only entrance is internal ( you can only enter it through the main corridor inside the hospital) I did not know this work was going to be done, so I was not prepared for what was to come. He took two rakes over his shoulders through the main corridor (not thinking about hitting patients or staff), into the garden and when finished raking up there was a **log 2mtrs long which he put over his shoulder and carried out the corridors **( if he has hit a patient)? he made a mess on the floor and we had to come back to clean up he brought a broom and shovel which he carried over his shoulder through the main corridors. I was so shocked and because i used to be one of the supervising guards there I was known what a shock to my system.
My work mate is oblivious about his practice. But the good thing is that I realized that Jesus is changing me through this, taking my pride apart, Jesus is changing ME, even if it is not to help my work mate it is to change me prepare me for other things Jesus has. It is not easy I don’t know if you would understand any of this but at last i feel a different me in that I am more at peace while these lack of professional practice is happening. Each time I go through a faze the load is lighter and I don’t any longer have the expectations or get angry at him. I feel as if it is Jesus who takes these hurts or feelings not me.
Is this how God relates to “Lord do with me what You want” it seems to me it is, where does this lead i don’t know.
Respond if you wish,