[quote="ToeInTheWater, post:1, topic:215978"]
It does seem that socially, men who have children out of wedlock aren't really expected to do much more than pay whatever child support he is legally required to pay, and maybe see the child every couple weeks or so. If he does more than that, great, but if he doesn't, that's fine too. So an unplanned pregnancy doesn't interfere with plans for, say, college, the way it would for a girl.
That is a lot more than many guys do when they get a teenage girl pregnant. And if he even did that much it would interfer with his life (not as much as for a girl but it could prevent him from getting an education
I have never had kids but his is what I would do. I have seen too many grand parents step up to the plate for teenage parents. The teenage parent then gets the message it is OK to be irresponsible someone else will take care of the consequences of my actions. Not to mention that as the child grows up, the grandparents are getting up in years and can no longer be involved as much. The child does not have a normal foundation with their parents and consequently has no guidance as a teen.
If my daughter got pregant out of wedlock, I would tell her 'I love you. I encourage you to give this child up for adoption. If you feel you are old enough to be a mom then you are old enough to get your own place and pay your own bills'
Iy my son got a girl pregnant, he wold be forced to get a part-time job and hand over every single last cent of the pay cheque to me. I would take the money and buy things for the baby and personally deliever them to the mom (assuming she kept the child). Then I would make my son pick the baby up every second weekend (or more if the mother asks) and bring the baby to my house and he would watch the baby so the mom can have a break. If the baby is sleeping and my son says 'Since the baby is sleeping can I go out with my friends and you watch the kid' I would emphatically say NO. My SON would be watching his child and doing the child rearing not me. If my son does not like the rules he can get his own place.
Yes my views are hars but it is what I think is best for the baby. To be brough up by the parents that choose to kept them. Nothing breaks my heart more to see a baby being kept by parents that don't want to take their responsibilities.
Also, it is not that harsh considering the second my children know where babies come form is the second they wold know about these rules