I’m hoping someone can help me understand something that’s been puzzling me.
Statistics indicate that the vast majority of couples marrying today have been sexually active before marriage. But I keep reading comments, especially from Catholic commentators, about how disappointed they are when a young lady they know is pregnant when getting married, or who becomes a single mother. Now I realize that pregnancy outside of marriage is not a good thing, but why be particularly disappointed in such women? Pregnancy obviously makes the woman’s sexual activity public knowledge, but do such commentators tell themselves that women who are not pregnant are publicly confirming their virginity?
I also just read a comment on Catholic.com stating that children of divorce are more likely to have an “illicit pregnancy”. I just want to confirm, are they saying that children whose parents are married are less likely to be sexually active outside of marriage? While that is probably true, I am guessing that there is only a very small difference in the percentage of children of divorce who are virgins on their wedding day and children of intact families who are virgins on their wedding day.
My point is, it seems to me that if the majority of people are not virgins on their wedding day, and the majority of the marrying couples’ parents are still married to each other (a 50 percent divorce rate does not mean that 50 percent of people who get married will get divorced, actually far from it) then what is the difference in regard to sexual activity, and why be NOT “disappointed” in the non-pregnant non-virgin? I guess I’ve seen some hypocrisy lately among conservative Catholic I know, who will present themselves as examples of purity, when the only reason they “get away” with that image is not that they are sexually pure, but that they have not gotten pregnant. Is there some virtue here that I am missing, because it does not seem terribly virtuous to me. Is the ultimate goal to prevent unwed pregnancy (an important goal, surely) or to be sexually pure?