I so understand your situation because I have undergone the same circumstances. I was abandoned by my husband and a divorce followed. In my extreme pain and darkness, I tried to restore my family and my esteem by remarrying before an annullment. I thought to myself, "It is more important that I restore “family” than for me to be a “Catholic”. I was victimized and I felt that someone owed this to me. However, what I was saying that my life was more important than my relationship with God. And I was trying to save others (children, my new husband) instead of turning to Christ in SAVING me! My pride was being hidden by my huge martyr complex!
However, years later I still suffered. And I had grown spiritual dead and complacent. Until one day, His love and mercy reached into my heart to let me know that He loved me. And He loves you, too. A love that no human being can imitate! And the amazing thing was that He still reached out to me after I rejected Him! That is how big His love is for us!
Now, I am working on an annullment to attempt to show Him how much I love him, too. And I want my life to be totally His, not mine.
Please know that the position that you have been put in in this life is God’s way to make a saint out of you and to bring you complete happiness. However, that can only happen through Christ.
God bless you. He loves you, the Church love you, and I love you, too!
May He keep you close to His Sacred Heart,