I posted a thread here a while back about marital problems I was having and I’m afraid things have spiraled out of control. I could use some advice. I was raised as an Atheist, my mother and father are good hardworking blue collar people, but God has never been a part of their life. In spite being baptized Lutheran I think, God was not spoken in my household unless making sleight of his existence. I was a scrappy little bugger growing up, but it wasn’t until I had something worth fighting for that I herd God calling to me. I joined the military and somehow along the way accidentally ended up with a family of my own. It wasn’t until I said goodbye to them for the first time that I found a rosary and Catholic prayer book sitting in a transient tent in Kuwait, that was almost 6 years ago. His voice has grown silent again, and I know not where to seek counsel. I do not feel like I belong in the church, yet I feel drawn to it. So much so that my children are all in Catholic School, because I do not want them to be denied easy access to a relationship the way I was.
My family has suffered greatly the last few months and I am barely holding them together. My youngest daughter suffered a stroke at birth and was diagnosed with hemiplegic cerebral palsy, my wife was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder after an attempted suicide, my middle daughter suffered a traumatic brain injury after a fall from her bunk bed, and I suffered a back injury that has already taken me through one surgery and may put me out of my profession permanently.
I am a Firefighter and had to perform as First Responder to both my wife’s overdose and my daughter’s fall. Most firefighters won’t have to work on their family once in a lifetime, I have had to do it twice in just as many months. I am afraid, more so, I am exhausted from being afraid for so long. I do not know where to seek counsel so I come here looking for a bread crumb.