I have brought many things to my husband that have blessed him and our family of six. He acknowledges this and is grateful.
I was broken in so many ways as a child that getting to anywhere healthy as an adult took God’s constant care and many many interventions with the Holy Spirit. Lately these breaks in my upbringing have become challenges I’m not sure how to overcome because I am doing my very best. You see the problem is that I have never really known how to create a “home.” I am constantly guessing. My schedules are always changing to accomodate life, making good meals, caring for our children one of whom has special needs and balancing a part time job during the school year. Creating our home is not easy for me nor is it natural. I don’t anticipate what the family is needing what he is needing all the time. I do the best that I can and watch my friends and the things that they do but it’s like I need a coach to come in here and direct me or train me on what to do and when. I have come a long way in our 13 year marriage but it is still a constant argument.
I feel like my husband, who had a solid upbringing, is disappointed in my skills and shortcomings in creating a home. Are other moms lost like me? Can what is broken be fixed?
Is this my husband’s cross, rather am I his cross? My husband deserves better really and could have married better than me. He disagrees with this by the way.
We are solid in our faith and have a good foundation. We have prayed our way to 13 years and will continue to pray. I just need real practical advice and well encouragement. I don’t want to disappoint him all the time and I’m tired of arguing and apologizing for something that seems simple to him.