I'm confused about my chastity


#1

I’m 15 year old and I have questions about chastity. I’m living in chastity but something is confusing me.

There’s a girl in my school, and she think I am a “good-looking” guy. And now she wants to kiss me, just kiss.

I don’t know what I have to do in this situation, I think this is luxury because she only wants a kiss. I said to her that I want a relationship with love not just kisses and I think she is confused.

What am I supposed to do? :confused:

English is my second language, sorry for gramatical errors.


#2

At your age, relationships should be about friendship and getting to know each other in a pre dating kind of way. We do live in a new world where people think that the romantic or sexually stimulating aspect of relationships is the most necessary and important unfortunately. I think that when you told her that you want a relationship with love not “kisses”, you were displaying a morally mature instinct. Love means the respecting of others in the context of any sort of relationship.

At 15 you are most likely still in school and not yet clear on a career and other goals. Serious dating is for people to discern marriage and really should be avoided until there is at least the possibility that you could support a wife and family. Until then, stick to you principles on this and guard your chastity without compromise. The types of girls who can recognise and respect your principles aren’t going to make you feel uncomfortable about not doing the romantic kissing thing.


#3

Physical intimacy should come after you develop a mental/spiritual/emotional connection, not before. When you do things the other way around, it cheapens physical intimacy, turning it into another recreational activity.

But regardless, at your age, if you like this girl, I recommend working on the friendship. You’ll have plenty of time to pursue romance when you become an adult.


#4

First of all, congratulations on your knowledge of English. You wrote a good message.

Let’s consider that, first, you’re only 15. You might feel you’re a man, but you’re really still very young. I did give in to someone about a week after I turned 15 and I always thought that I had been old enough to know what I was doing. It took me thirty years or more to realize that I had been abused and really wasn’t mature enough to consent. There’s still a lot of good, edifying things out there for you to learn and which will assist you in becoming a man as God would want.

In your case, I don’t know you but I’m proud of you for telling her you want a relationship with love not just kisses and that you think she’s confused. She’s probably a nice girl, but if you’re good-looking, she is giving into lust and will want more if you give in and kiss her. And you, too, will probably want more if you’re attracted to her. Stay pure.You are most pleasing to our Lord, Jesus Christ, I assure you, in the way you have handled this. Furthermore, if you begin to use your looks as bait for amorous adventures, your wounded soul will lessen that beauty. I’ve had some friends who have been extremely good looking, but very shallow and not beautiful inside.

Please don’t give in to temptation. Be a real man and abstain from sex until you get married. You will hopefully one day have children and be able to tell them you abstained until you married their mother, and you will be a genuine example of the Holy Spirit’s work in a chaste man’s life. Get support from someone you trust and who is not blinded by the permissiveness of today’s society. Your church would be a good place to start. Pray every day that Jesus Christ show you the way.

You’re in my prayers and so are others like you. I wish I had treated my body with the respect with which you treat yours.

My love to you in Jesus Christ,


#5

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