I’m confused about my vocation. When I think about joining a convent…I feel like I’d be making myself do it, if that makes sense?
I want to date, but I can’t find a suitable young man.
and I don’t know if I want to get married cause my parents have a really bad marriage (I don’t wanna end up like they did! ) and I don’t want a relationship like someone I know has with their BF…the talk gets spicey and I don’t wanna talk to anyone that way!
the thought of staying single makes me sad…& scared!
I am a young girl discerning a religious vocation, so I might be able to help you out a little bit. One thing I highly recommend is talking to your Priest. Set up a time with him where the two of you aren’t rushed to talk. Tell him about all of these different feelings you are having to each vocation, and go from there. Also, one thing I found really helpful was to write down the positives and negatives of each one, and really think about which one would make you the most happy. Remember, you don’t have to make a decision right now! You have plenty of time, my dear.
It sounds like you do not feel called to the single life - it makes you sad.
It sounds like you do not feel a calling as a religious sister - as it would be something you were “making yourself do” not called to happily and joyfully.
It sounds like you feel a calling towards marriage - with a good, holy man - in a good healthy and holy marriage. Now, there is only one man that God will call you to for marriage. So, you have to have the right time for the right man to know the two of you are called to date.
Keep praying for this person who will be your spouse. Keep your eyes aware of those you meet.
If at another point, you find yourself drawn towards a different path - know that you will find peace and joy if God calls you to a vocation besides marriage.
Since your own family has difficulty with marriage, you may find a counselor or spiritual advisor who can help you to avoid repeating the patterns of an unhealthy marriage. You may read books on the Vocation of Marriage and self-help books for those whose families of origin had stressful marriages.
vocations are a response to God’s calling. To not get married out of fear of a broken marriage is not a reason to join a religious order. It sounds like you need to discern carefully. Are you saying that if you found a suitable man you would marry him?