[quote="blaskoman, post:1, topic:181356"]
I was just recently informed by a good friend that he will not repay a $3000 loan I made to him a few months ago. Because of an unrelated argument (not concerning the money) he snapped and simply said that he will not repay. I think he used the argument as a convenient excuse to renege on a loan I know he wouldnt be able to pay back for quite some time.
Do I have an obligation to forgive and forget and resume the friendship? How can I forgive when the other party is obstinate and not even requesting such forgiveness?
I've known this individual for over 20 yrs and I cannot believe that a good friendship could so easily unravel.
As a footnote, I loaned him cash so do not believe I even have grounds to take him to small claims court.
The situation you describe is painful in two ways. First, you are out money that you expected you'd get back. Second, you've been betrayed by a friend, for whom you thought you were being a good friend.
My guess is that your assessment is right on. Your friend is too embarrassed to come right out and say they are not able to pay the money back. No doubt, that is a hard and humbling place to be. Wouldn't you rather be sitting where you are rather than where (he/she) is? I am not excusing the behavior. I would have more respect for someone who came to me and said, "Hey, can you give me some more time..." At least,the friendship would still be viable.
So, we've established that you have been hurt in the heart and in the pocketbook. What should you do about it now?
First, forgive your friend. I know it's hard, but the sooner you act with the will to forgive this person, the sooner you can get on with the rest of your life. Second, pray. Take your pain and your hurt to God and ask Him to make something better for you and your friend. God is really good at this! Third, look at this as a charitable donation to someone in need. We are called to share our time, treasure and talent for the glory of God. Offer this up as a moment in time when Jesus was present to you and (unlike the innkeeper) you opened your heart and your pocketbook to him. Do it with joy in your heart. Knowing that another human being has been aided by virtue of your sacrifice should give you peace.
And lastly, pray for your friend. Pray that God may forgive them. Pray that they may know God in heaven one day. Pay for their future prosperity that they may even repay you one day. Most people would react with anger and vengeance. If you did, no one would blame you. But as followers we are called to something else. And in the end that something else will give you peace.
May God bless you and aid you through this trial...