I'm going to miss PA...is it sinful to have trouble letting go?


#1

I’m going to miss PA…my neighbors…my friends…my coworkers…our church parish…:frowning: …I truly feel, with all that has happened over these past few months, that this is definitely God’s will for my family and my life.

So…Is there anything wrong with feeling some sorrow over leaving people behind…if you know it’s God’s will???:o Is it sinful to be a tad bit afraid of this move??? I have prayed for Jesus to take away any worry or fear I have…but my mind is whirling today with some anxiety…:blush:

And my husband is on drill sargeant mode 110%:rolleyes: …he’s mad that the kids are spending some time with their friends today. Hello? They aren’t going to see their friends probably for a looooong time.:rolleyes:

Thanks for listening…your thoughts are appreciated.


#2

I don’t think it’s sinful to feel some apprehension or homesickness. It’s normal for us to put down roots and become attached to our homes. As long as you don’t let the fear and homesickness blind you to the good things about your new home, I think you’re fine.


#3

Of course it’s not wrong. They are just normal feelings. It’s what you do (or don’t do) with those feelings that matters. God’s will is about what we do; if our feelings agree that’s just icing on the cake. It’s certainly not a moral necessity. You can bet Jesus was going against his feelings when he died on that cross.

But you may need to be a bit judicious about sharing those feelings with your husband and children so they understand that you are committed to this move in spite of your feelings.

Is your husband upset that the kids are spending time with their friends or rather that they are not helping get ready for the move? If it’s the latter, can’t they get some of their friends to help get things ready so they can do both?


#4

I am just the opposite. I left PA two years ago and, when my Mom moves down to Virginia to be near by bother, I will have no reason to go back. For that, I am glad.

I have some fond memories, but there is too much wrong with PA and some very bad incidents for me to ever consider moving back there. In fact, I need to send some eMails to people stating that.


#5

Thanks for your reply. Regarding my kids spending some time with their friends…this one friend of my son’s has been helping us pack for like a week…my husband acts like this is what the kids should be doing, with no downtime. I’m so tired of him thinking that kids should be doing this much work 24/7…

Needless to say, my husband and I are not speaking now.:rolleyes: I do agree with you that I’m careful to not share these feelings of angst around my kids. I should be able to share these thoughts with my husband…tears and all…I told him today that I thought this is what a marriage is about. When one or the other is feeling down…the other picks that one up. Not…well, sorry you’re feeling that way honey, but keep packing.:rolleyes: :frowning:

Whatever…:o

I might just be feeling overwhelmed by everything. I think of Moses or Noah…when God asked them to do something, and they weren’t exactly gung ho at first. I have thought all along, for a number of reasons…that this is God’s will. I was given a great promotion…in order to make this move worth our while…and I guess I’m just feeling a little scared…like suppose I don’t do a good job? Suppose their expectations in Florida are not reasonable? I have days when I can put it all in check…and leave it on God’s altar…but, there are days when it creeps up on me…overwhelms me. I know it’s wrong to be fearful…I guess I will have to keep praying about this.

Meanwhile…my husband doesn’t seem to appreciate my fears. It’s like I should just ignore them or something. His response to everything…‘the kids will be fine…I will get a great job…your job will be fine…’ Everything is always ‘fine.’:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

I am going to stop now…Just feeling very saddened all of a sudden.:frowning:


#6

My husband has the same feelings about PA…He really dislikes Pittsburgh…although it’s a great town, it has a ton of problems, he thinks.


#7

Being from Murrysville, I know what he is talking about. I have lived on both sides of the state and there are different things I do not like about each part. I will be out of PA 2 years this coming Friday. I was a little concerned about moving to Michigan, but I love it here.


#8

Hi Wander…I currently live in Greentree…have liked it a lot…but God is asking us to go elsewhere. I am surprised that I’m saddened by it, because I have been looking forward to the move for some time, now. But, people coming up to me…saying their goodbyes…maybe I’m just overwhelmed. I dunno.:shrug:

Did u ever go the Arts Festival? That was always a good time.


#9

No. Between college and moving out of the Pittsburgh in the late 80’s, I never went to it.


#10

We currently live in Bucks County, PA and I like this area. I am not overly fond of Phildelphia, and I actually like Pittsburgh way better. It seems cleaner:)


#11

2 yrs ago, I was living in Lancaster, PA. Great town with less people and problem. I had to move down to TX for my job … leaving behind my old parents and a sister. I was worried because there were lots of things going on at home. However, we had been praying and knowing that it was God’s will for me to move down. My family was ok and my decision moving down to TX is the best decision I have ever made in my life.

I still miss Lancaster and how comfortable it was to drive on highway under 60 mph without having a car driving up closed to my car. Driving in TX is a whole lot different:D


#12

Thanks water…that helps.:slight_smile: I do feel that the decision has been handed down from God…just things that fell into place, etc…things that didn’t even take much effort on our part. I hate it when some of the problems of life are/have been self induced by me. :blush:


#13

Actually I don’t know which part of PA I like better. I live in lower Bucks County, and that area is really nice, but I also love being in Pittsburgh as well. I guess because it’s not as big as Philadelphia it’s not so overwhelming…by the way whatevergirl, I have friends who live in Greentree, and I’ve spent quite a bit of time there…it seems like a nice place :wink:


#14

I moved from PA 22 yrs ago and there are still things I miss. I grew up in a very nice part of PA. I still get mom or sister to send me Tasty-Kakes and when I come back to visit, I always come back for fresh bagels, canoli and cheesesteaks. Most of my classmates still talk to my sister and when I am in town she invites them over to see me.

I have taken my kids to the Franklin Institute, Penns Landing, the Liberty Bell, Museum of Natural History, Valley Forge, Brandywine River, and several historic sites near my home. My home parish still has people there I was friends with, and we are always glad to see them, and their kids all grown up. My kids love it there too. I am glad to be able to share my love of PA with my kids.


#15

I’ve moved overseas and halfway across country. Moving is hard. I personally am of the opinion that one SHOULD share opinions with your children. Be honest. Let them know this is hard for you. And if you snap, you’re sorry. You will validate their own emotions. You will teach them by example how to be honest about things. Would you rather teach them how to put up a false front and hide your true feelings from those closest to you?

And having said “this is hard. Boo hoo.” then you will proceed to do what you feel God’s will is for you. And you will do it bravely and with as much grace as possible. Because your children are watching. And if you don’t teach them this skill, who will? You will teach them that following God’s will is independent of how it makes you FEEL. And that it’s okay to be human. And you will teach them how to let go of one thing and reach for a new and better thing. And that our true home isn’t in this world and nothing lasts forever. And they will also learn to pack boxes. That is a useful skill too.


#16

Thank for such a thoughtful post, liberano–yes, I think that you are right. My kids have seen me cry through this, and also show elation…so, that’s important to show them both sides to the whole process. I had a friend call me this morning–and she started crying. I guess, crying sometimes can be seen as…maybe we shouldn’t be doing this, but it’s a happy type of cry in a way. Starting a new venture…people are happy, but they will miss us. Life is about change…I just don’t want to move too often. It’s been a tough thing:o


#17

My sister and her family are moving to Okinawah. I won’t see her for several years. She has moved more than I have, as the wife of a Marine. But she always finds a way to be upbeat about the new adventure. And with the internet and phones, contact with people can continue. You can show your children that relationships can be maintained over distances. Love trumps distance every time.

And it’s okay to weep. Christ even wept. It’s a natural reaction to loss. I wouldn’t like the kind of person who would remain dry-eyed.


#18

Okinawa??? Oh my…how neat is that??? Did you try your hardest to be a stow away??? lol I think that would be wild to move to Japan…absolutely amazing.

Thank you for your sentiments…really, they helped me get a hold of myself a bit more.:o

And truth be told…I just want the whole move to be over with…it’s like…living out of boxes, and such…it’s kind of a pain.


#19

You haven’t lived in Maryland lately, have you? :wink: We’re weighing moving back toward Hanover, where we got married.


#20

As others have said, it’s natural to have the feelings you are experiencing. I understand how you are feeling. I currently live in Bucks County and grew up in Chester County. PA has basically been my home base for most of my life, although between college and married life I moved every year because I liked constant change of pace and new adventures. BUT I like where I am now because I’m not too far from NYC, where I go weekly for music studies and things of that sort, and I’m not too far from my family who still mostly live in Chester and Delaware Counties.

My husband, before marrying me, grew up constantly moving. His father would move to different parts of the country climbing the corporate ladder in book publishing. They’ve lived in PA, NJ, MA, Illinois, CA and his parents currently live in FL. It did take a toll on my husband and his sisters and mother. So, although I really do like moving around, he’d rather stay grounded in one spot. I’ve grown to like it as well, since we are planning on starting a familiy.


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