I'm in love with a Jewish girl


#1

Assuming we get married and have children, am I at fault if we raise the family Jewish? Her wanting to raise the kids Jewish does not affect my desire to be married to her in the slightest, so I'm just wondering what the Church's reaction/advice would/might be.


#2

[quote="TimothyIgnatius, post:1, topic:319043"]
Assuming we get married and have children, am I at fault if we raise the family Jewish? Her wanting to raise the kids Jewish does not affect my desire to be married to her in the slightest, so I'm just wondering what the Church's reaction/advice would/might be.

[/quote]

You would be willing to raise your children without a Messiah?


#3

[quote="TimothyIgnatius, post:1, topic:319043"]
Assuming we get married and have children, am I at fault if we raise the family Jewish? Her wanting to raise the kids Jewish does not affect my desire to be married to her in the slightest, so I'm just wondering what the Church's reaction/advice would/might be.

[/quote]

You would be leading your children away from salvation in the Jewish Messiah, Jesus or God.

"Have you an infant child? Do not let sin get any opportunity, but let him be sanctified from his childhood; from his very tenderest age let him be consecrated by the Spirit. Fearest thou the Seal on account of the weakness of nature?" - St Gregory Nazianzen, Doctor of the Church, Oration on Holy Baptism, 40:17

"Now, seeing that they [Pelagians] admit the necessity of baptizing infants,--finding themselves unable to contravene that authority of the universal Church, which has been unquestionably handed down by the Lord and His apostles,--they cannot avoid the further concession, that infants require the same benefits of the Mediator, in order that, being washed by the sacrament and charity of the faithful, and thereby incorporated into the body of Christ, which is the Church, they may be reconciled to God, and so live in Him, and be saved, and delivered, and redeemed, and enlightened. But from what, if not from death, and the vices, and guilt, and thraldom, and darkness of sin? And, inasmuch as they do not commit any sin in the tender age of infancy by their actual transgression, original sin only is left." - St Augustine of Hippo, Doctor of the Church, On forgiveness of sin and baptism, 39


#4

[quote="TimothyIgnatius, post:1, topic:319043"]
Assuming we get married and have children, am I at fault if we raise the family Jewish? Her wanting to raise the kids Jewish does not affect my desire to be married to her in the slightest, so I'm just wondering what the Church's reaction/advice would/might be.

[/quote]

Well, you would not be allowed to marry her in the Church in these circumstances. Beyond that, though, I don't know the rules. I do get the impression that the Church nowadays does not absolutely rule out interfaith marriages, even ones in which the children will be raised in a different religion. But, you'll have to do some serious research on this. Don't trust what various random Catholic lay persons or priests might tell you. I think this might be complicated and nuances.

As you know, the Catholic Church nowadays has a high respect for the Jewish religion. Pope Benedict XVI wrote very favorably about the Jewish religion, and even prayed in a synagogue during a service there.

But, I don't know all the details.

To me, the main thing is that you enter into a marriage in which both the man and the woman understand what they are getting into and are mature enough to keep their vows and go the distance. Lots and lots of Catholics are bailing out of marriage these days.

Remember that St. Joseph married a Jewish girl.

Well, God bless!


#5

[quote="TimothyIgnatius, post:1, topic:319043"]
Assuming we get married and have children, am I at fault if we raise the family Jewish? Her wanting to raise the kids Jewish does not affect my desire to be married to her in the slightest, so I'm just wondering what the Church's reaction/advice would/might be.

[/quote]

If your kids grow up Jewish. They won't believe in Jesus or be baptized. That means it's very likely they'd go to hell. Please don't do it.

You wouldn't be able to get married in the Catholic Church either. They won't do it if the Catholic will not promise to raise their children Catholic.


#6

[quote="The_Blunt_Brig, post:5, topic:319043"]

If your kids grow up Jewish. They won't believe in Jesus or be baptized. That means it's very likely they'd go to hell. Please don't do it.

[/quote]

TimothyIgnatius, that is not what the Catholic Church teaches. Don't listen to stuff like that. Jews don't go to Hell just because the aren't Catholic. That's antisemitism or just ignorance. Check with a trained apologist of the Catholic Answers Live program, and you'll get the truth.


#7

This bible verse in the Old Testament (Jews have this too) says,

"But if you will embrace the errors of these nations that dwell among you, and make marriages with them, and join friendships: Know for a certainty that the Lord your God will not destroy them before your face, but they will be a pit and a snare in your way, and a stumblingblock at your side, and stakes in your eyes, till he take you away and destroy you from off this excellent land, which he has given you." Joshua 23:12-14

The bible warns each of you not to marry each other.


#8

‎"Also, the souls of those who have incurred no stain of sin whatsoever after baptism, as well as souls who after incurring the stain of sin have been cleansed whether in their bodies or outside their bodies, as was stated above, are straightaway received into heaven and clearly behold the triune God as he is, yet one person more perfectly than another according to the difference of their merits. But the souls of those who depart this life in actual mortal sin, or in original sin alone, go down straightaway to hell to be punished, but with unequal pains." - The Ecumenical Council of Florence, Session 6 (July 6, 1439)

[emphasis mine]


#9

Shouldn't it be a no-brainer that a Catholic has to raise his kids Catholic? I'm confused about the whole line of thinking here--your descendants are your eternal legacy here on earth, but you don't want them to have the true faith? Certainly, you can marry this woman, and there may even be provisions to allow her to get married in the Church, but you MUST raise your kids as Catholics or the whole thing is kaput from my point of view.


#10

[quote="Bartolome_Casas, post:4, topic:319043"]
Well, you would not be allowed to marry her in the Church in these circumstances. Beyond that, though, I don't know the rules. I do get the impression that the Church nowadays does not absolutely rule out interfaith marriages, even ones in which the children will be raised in a different religion. But, you'll have to do some serious research on this. Don't trust what various random Catholic lay persons or priests might tell you. I think this might be complicated and nuances.

As you know, the Catholic Church nowadays has a high respect for the Jewish religion. Pope Benedict XVI wrote very favorably about the Jewish religion, and even prayed in a synagogue during a service there.

But, I don't know all the details.

To me, the main thing is that you enter into a marriage in which both the man and the woman understand what they are getting into and are mature enough to keep their vows and go the distance. Lots and lots of Catholics are bailing out of marriage these days.

Remember that St. Joseph married a Jewish girl.

Well, God bless!

[/quote]

I am married to a Jewish man. We had to decide before marriage to raise our children in one faith or the other. Both the rabbi and the Church insisted upon this.

My in-laws refused to come "inside of a church" so the priest told us to be married by a rabbi in a synagogue. We did this and it was the beginning of me always having to put aside my faith for the faith of his ancestors. He is not religious but the guilt is strong.

My husband told me one month before the wedding that he could not allow our future children to be baptized because it would devastate his parents. I told him that I would not marry him because he promised (from our very first date actually) to not interfere with my religion. He agreed because he remembered that he had promised to do it from the beginning our relationship.

We didn't have a Christmas tree for nine years because my husband did not want to offend his parents if they were to come to visit.

I could go on and on.

I bring this up to highlight the many, many differences and problems that will arise in a Catholic/Jewish marriage.

Like the rabbi told me: Your in-laws may not be religious now, but wait until the grandchildren come! Oy, was he right! :D


#11

I believe we may find this quote from the Vatican web site to relevant to this discussion:

In his visit to the Rome synagogue in 1986, Pope John Paul II referred to the Jewish people as “the beloved elder brothers of the Church”. He developed this idea with his own notable formulation of the essential message of Nostra Aetate. One of the occasions on which I was privileged to meet with John Paul II was in Assisi in January 1993 on the occasion of the gathering he had convened for prayer for peace in the Balkans. In receiving me and my colleague, he declared “I have said, you (the Jewish People) are the beloved elder brother of the Church of the original Covenant never broken and never to be broken”.
vatican.va/roman_curia/pontifical_councils/chrstuni/relations-jews-docs/rc_pc_chrstuni_doc_20051027_rabbi-rosen_en.html

That is some of the official teaching of the Catholic Church.

God loves the Jewish people. You love a Jewish girl. You ougha be able to work something out. Check with some priests. God bless.


#12

[quote="TimothyIgnatius, post:1, topic:319043"]
Assuming we get married and have children, am I at fault if we raise the family Jewish? Her wanting to raise the kids Jewish does not affect my desire to be married to her in the slightest, so I'm just wondering what the Church's reaction/advice would/might be.

[/quote]

Whoa. Back up. How well do you know her? Is she practicing? Is she Reform, Conservative or Orthodox? I would definitely talk to a priest before taking this any further. And I would talk to a Rabbi as well. Marriage is never to be taken lightly.

Peace,
Ed


#13

The Catholic Church does teach this. The Catholic Church said it in the Catechism of the Catholic Church, which Pope John Paul II stated is "a sure norm for teaching the faith" this:

"Outside the Church there is no salvation"

846 How are we to understand this affirmation, often repeated by the Church Fathers?335 Re-formulated positively, it means that all salvation comes from Christ the Head through the Church which is his Body:

Basing itself on Scripture and Tradition, the Council teaches that the Church, a pilgrim now on earth, is necessary for salvation: the one Christ is the mediator and the way of salvation; he is present to us in his body which is the Church. He himself explicitly asserted the necessity of faith and Baptism, and thereby affirmed at the same time the necessity of the Church which men enter through Baptism as through a door. Hence they could not be saved who, knowing that the Catholic Church was founded as necessary by God through Christ, would refuse either to enter it or to remain in it.(Lumen Gentium 14 by Vatican II; cf. Mk 16:16; Jn 3:5)


#14

[quote="Bartolome_Casas, post:6, topic:319043"]
TimothyIgnatius, that is not what the Catholic Church teaches. Don't listen to stuff like that. Jews don't go to Hell just because the aren't Catholic. That's antisemitism or just ignorance. Check with a trained apologist of the Catholic Answers Live program, and you'll get the truth.

[/quote]

Oh no? What's the point of staying Catholic then if you can be saved in another religion?


#15

[quote="Bartolome_Casas, post:4, topic:319043"]
Well, you would not be allowed to marry her in the Church in these circumstances. Beyond that, though, I don't know the rules. I do get the impression that the Church nowadays does not absolutely rule out interfaith marriages, even ones in which the children will be raised in a different religion. But, you'll have to do some serious research on this. Don't trust what various random Catholic lay persons or priests might tell you. I think this might be complicated and nuances.

As you know, the Catholic Church nowadays has a high respect for the Jewish religion. Pope Benedict XVI wrote very favorably about the Jewish religion, and even prayed in a synagogue during a service there.

But, I don't know all the details.

To me, the main thing is that you enter into a marriage in which both the man and the woman understand what they are getting into and are mature enough to keep their vows and go the distance. Lots and lots of Catholics are bailing out of marriage these days.

Remember that St. Joseph married a Jewish girl.

Well, God bless!

[/quote]

The "lots and lots of Catholics" statement has what to do with the OP's question?

Ed


#16

[quote="The_Blunt_Brig, post:13, topic:319043"]
The Catholic Church does teach this. The Catholic Church said it in the Catechism of the Catholic Church, which Pope John Paul II stated is "a sure norm for teaching the faith" this:

[/quote]

Yes, what that Catechism quote from paragraph 846 says is that Jews are saved through the Catholic Church, but they don't have to be visible members. The salvation comes to Jews through the Catholic Church in a mystical way. Pope John Paul II and Pope Benedict XVI explained all this. There is no dispute about this.


#17

[quote="Bartolome_Casas, post:16, topic:319043"]
Yes, what that Catechism quote from paragraph 846 says is that Jews are saved through the Catholic Church, but they don't have to be visible members. The salvation comes to Jews through the Catholic Church in a mystical way. Pope John Paul II and Pope Benedict XVI explained all this. There is no dispute about this.

[/quote]

Read all it says: "Hence they could not be saved who, knowing that the Catholic Church was founded as necessary by God through Christ, would refuse either to enter it or to remain in it."


#18

You two might want to look up Messianic Judaism. I am not sure what this church's doctrine is, but there are a number of groups of Jews who believe Jesus is the Messiah. They're Christians, it's just they've held onto a lot of the Jewish tradition. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Messianic_Judaism


#19

I'm sorry because this is not a cheerful answer, but you should pray diligently and thoughtfully over this, because it is not a light matter. You are responsible for the salvation of your future children, insofar as you have a duty to instruct them in the Catholic religion and ensure that they receive the sacraments.


#20

[quote="Bartolome_Casas, post:16, topic:319043"]
Yes, what that Catechism quote from paragraph 846 says is that Jews are saved through the Catholic Church, but they don't have to be visible members. The salvation comes to Jews through the Catholic Church in a mystical way. Pope John Paul II and Pope Benedict XVI explained all this. There is no dispute about this.

[/quote]

:eek:

You're basically saying that you can hear the Gospel of Jesus, and learn of the Catholic faith, reject it, and be an... invisible, mystical part of the Catholic Church?

This is from the Catechism paragraph you referenced: "Hence they could not be saved who, knowing that the Catholic Church was founded as necessary by God through Christ, would refuse either to enter it or to remain in it."

If the girl and future children in question are introduced to the Church and its teachings through the OP, how exactly are they to be saved? They are clearly "refusing... to enter it".

The Catechism paragraph pertains to those who have not been taught about the Catholic Church. If they have no knowledge of the Church, they can still be saved. If they have been introduced to the Church, and reject it... Bad news bears.


DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.