I wouldn’t say this is “diabolical” or “divine”, either. It happens.
I had one friend who insisted that in love, age doesn’t matter. However, I would have to disagree.
I was married, twice. Once, I married a man who was about 15 years younger than me. In my second marriage, I married a man 15 years older than me. Age was a huge deal in both my marriages.
Especially in my first marriage, I very much loved him, and he was my best friend. However, it takes a lot to make a relationship, and marriage, for example.
In my first marriage, I was at a totally different stage. He was studying, getting his degree. I had already gotten my degree, was ready to settle down.
His friends were his age, all much younger than me. Some people thought I was his mother, and it was very embarrassing for me.
My first husband seemed to have great difficulty feeling physical attraction towards me, and I suspect age was a factor.
He liked to do computer games, and I used to like those, had grown past that.
In my second marriage, he looked a lot older than me, and it affected me. After about 5 years together, I had more and more difficulty feeling attraction to him. The difference between the 2 of us was just so great. The last 3 years of our marriage was asexual. I just couldn’t do it, in part, due to the age difference. I couldn’t bring myself to ever tell him, though, because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.
I wanted to work in some capacity, volunteer, and he wanted to retire and do nothing.
Now, insofar as marriage is concerned, I’d like you to look at some statistics.
Just have patience with this, since there are ads that pop up. If you wait, I think it’ll be worth your while, though.
I was married, twice, divorced, twice. My first husband said age was the main thing that was going against us. A friend of his said it was actually the only issue. Well, I think we had 3 or 4, but the age difference (which wasn’t as great as your relationship) certainly didn’t help.
Now, I am dating someone who is older than me, but there is only a 4 year spread. After what I have lived through, even if I felt madly in love with a man 20 years older, I would fight it.
I would probably continue to see him but try to imagine in him, say, in 20 or 30 years, and ask myself if that’s what I wanted for myself.
Once, my friend, who was…probably more than 20 years older than me fell in love with me, even once proposed to me. I saw him as a friend, if anything, a father. He once told me that society will also only accept a certain age spread…say, maximum 8 years with the woman being older than the man, and I guess…was it 10 years for the man?
I do know of one blind couple where she is 13 years older, and she keeps that a secret, but confided it in me. They seem to have a wonderful relationship, but I’d say she is probably more the exception than the norm.
I also know of one other couple, family, where he is…very much older, and they, too, got it to work, at least so far. Although, they are both young. We’ll see when she’s 50 y.o. and he’s 70 y.o. how they do, though.
Look at a 50 y.o. and then a 70 y.o. Society and friends will, at that point, often reject the couple, try to intervene to stop the relationship. In my first marriage, especially, people were coming out of the woodwork trying to split us up.
One would need to not care at all about society’s reaction, not be hurt by society’s rejection.
There was a movie about a woman with a much younger man…“How Stella Got Her Groove Back”, but again, it’s very hard.
Also, tastes in things can be different, because there are 2 different generations. There will often be drastically different tastes in music and such.
Anyway, although you may feel this way, now, realize that were you ever to get into a romantic relationship…even 5 years down the line, these feelings of attraction would probably change to something else.
When I wanted to marry my second husband, one of my sisters was brutally honest, asked me to try to imagine him in a few years with his being all wrinkled, and me, not. I refused to listen, because it was something I didn´t want to hear at that time. I just went ahead, and later, I regretted it.
You can still see him, but I’d say every time you feel romantic feelings towards him, to imagine him in 20-30 years, to try to see him as a friend, realize anything more would probably be disastrous for you, both.
Can you see others to help you change your perspective, men your age?
In any case, it’s ultimately your decision, and not that you need anybody’s permission, but I, for one, would support you in whatever you decided. Good luck in your decision. God bless you, Dear.