I'm in love with my son's Godfather


#1

sorry if this is a repost but I’m new here.

I’m a single mother to a 10 year old. I’ve never been married. My best friend of 15 years is my son’s Godfather. His has never been married either. We are not related by blood. My son calls him dad although he knows who his biological father is. Recently we have started to get close and have thought about a romance, but his parents forbid it saying it’s wrong. Is it wrong in the eyes of the church? Do we need special permission? Please help me. :confused:


#2

[quote=nloveand_lost]sorry if this is a repost but I’m new here.

I’m a single mother to a 10 year old. I’ve never been married. My best friend of 15 years is my son’s Godfather. His has never been married either. We are not related by blood. My son calls him dad although he knows who his biological father is. Recently we have started to get close and have thought about a romance, but his parents forbid it saying it’s wrong. Is it wrong in the eyes of the church? Do we need special permission? Please help me. :confused:
[/quote]

If none of you have ever benn married it is NOT wrong.


#3

Why do his parents forbid it? What is their reasoning? What has your relationship been with this man for 15 years? Were you as brother and sister, and is that why they are against it?

The Church does not allow a parent to be a child’s Godparent, because the Godparent is supposed to be a helper to the parents in raising the child in a Godly way. However, there is nothing forbidding a Godparent from becoming a parent to his Godson. If you do get married, you could find another man to stand in as Godfather to your son.

If you wish to pursue this, then “romance” should not be your intent, but rather “courtship,” with marriage in mind. You should honestly discuss this with him, and do not treat it as a fling. If you begin a courtship and find at some point that you could not consider marrying this man, then end it immediately.


#4

First of all: W E L C :wave: M E to the forum.

With that said, I believe your parents are wrong since there is no blood between them, and even if there were, so what. A God parents role is to ensure the Religious foundation of the child. And WHO BETTER than the father. For an exact answer, please talk to your priest… But is you two are in love and God has placed it on your heart and your son’s heart…Trust God.

For more information please read this article from teh American Catholic called, " Godparents and Sponsors
What Is Expected of Them Today?"
americancatholic.org/Newsletters/CU/ac0497.asp

I hope to see you around the fourm. :smiley:


#5

**I’m in love with my son’s Godfather…**Yeah, yeah, yeah, and I’m my half-brother’s grandfather because I married my stepmother’s widowed mother, right?


#6

[quote=BibleReader]**I’m in love with my son’s Godfather…**Yeah, yeah, yeah, and I’m my half-brother’s grandfather because I married my stepmother’s widowed mother, right?
[/quote]

Nice CHRISTIAN answer Reader - NOT!


#7

[quote=dhgray]Nice CHRISTIAN answer Reader - NOT!
[/quote]

Ahh, come on! Humor is from God!


#8

From what you have said, your situation is not an impediment in the eyes of the Church. Because neither of you have been married previously, you are free to marry each other.

The Code of Canon Law lists the “Diriment Impediements” against valid marriage here:
vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/__P3Y.HTM

Nowhere does it mention baptismal sponsors. In addition, in the secion on Baptismal Sponsors (the proper name for Godparents), it states:

To be permitted to take on the function of sponsor a person must…not be the father or mother of the one*** to be*** baptized.

(emphasis mine)

Notice that the canon only refers to the situation prior to baptism, and does not address the issue of a later union. Were such a union impossible (or even undesirable), it would surely have been addressed in the Code of Canon Law.


#9

[quote=MamaGeek]If you do get married, you could find another man to stand in as Godfather to your son.
[/quote]

A Godfather or Sponsor is an official witness to the child’s Baptism. Once the Baptism has occured the Sponsor cannot be replaced. Marriage would not dissolve the responsibility of the Sponsor as a Catholic role model. In fact, it would multiply it as the Sponsor would have the additional responsibilities of parenthood, and would be under obligation to not only set a good example, but raise their children in the Faith as well.


#10

What do you mean by “romance”? That has a lot of connotations. Don’t you mean courtship, as someone else suggested? Because if it means sex out of wedlock then it is fornication which IS wrong regardless of his being the Godfather of your child.


#11

Thanks for your responses. Humor is always the best policy, but I’m really lost in this situation.

Yes, I do mean “courtship” sorry. It seems his parents (father really) feel we are wrong for even thinking about going beyond our friendship.

I spoke with a priest at my local mission, and his explanation was: As long as we (him and I) have never been married, the church will allow us to have a courtship and get married.

And now this leads me to my next question. His mom is about to become my sponsor for my confirmation. We are close and she advised me to complete my confirmation.

Would it sill be ok for us have a courtship?


#12

[quote=nloveand_lost]And now this leads me to my next question. His mom is about to become my sponsor for my confirmation. We are close and she advised me to complete my confirmation.

Would it sill be ok for us have a courtship?
[/quote]

This situation is almost identical to your previous question. The requirements for confirmation sponsors are *exactly the same *as for baptismal sponsors. Being your sponsor in no way prevents her from becoming your mother-in-law in the future.


#13

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.