Hang In There
Wow believe me I completely understand the way you! I too was in a situation where I serious considering Judaism for literally the same reason. I don’t know how hard you may have dug into this question and I won’t be surprised at all if you are more knowledgeable than me but I must say we that it would be prudent to really take your time with this sort of thing because after all it is more than just an intellectual issue but a spiritual one. Do not worry I am not ignoring the importance of the intellect and honest peruse of truth but we have to be extra careful not to commit apostasy because of our issues so we must be extra through. That’s all I’m saying. I think you clearly are taking this serious and proceeding with prudence as you came here and probably else where seeking to see if someone else resolved this issue. Lets stick around and hash this out because I am confident that we can shift through this issue. Normally I like to type responses but there is a great video online that explains this question. I will paste the links below and we can discuss the entire thing!
Forgive me because it is long but on grave matters such as leaving the faith, I think it will be worth you time to give the Christ and His Church the time. Sort of like how we give an our for mass. I am not saying this is like the mass but this may be the means that you return to the mass once again to celebrate with the Lord!