Peace be with you dear ones!
I’m currently active in service of the church. Missing a day from hearing a mass or moment of prayer with the Lord, makes me incomplete. I have been discerning since February, and often times, I say to myself maybe I was just attracted to these religious people like the way they dress etc. or because I have made friends with priests and sisters, that inspired me to follow their footstep and way of life. But as days and months pass by, I’m sure to myself that it’s not through them that desired me to serve Christ, I knew that it was HIM who called on the inside to follow Him and do things for His beloved people. At first I was in doubt like “Lord I can’t be, right? I’m not that religious person material.” But as I read more for my enlightenment and did have my deep prayer and adoration for guidance, I’ve read something that goes “Everyone is bound for holiness. so why doubt yourself?”, that made me think that it sure does true. In the process, I constantly longed and thought of religious life and have found a congregation that suits me in their way of life. And deep within me I’m already saying my Yes. But…
My problem right now is how to say this to my parents especially that we belong to a not-so rich family and considering that I’m the eldest? and I fear the saying “delay obedience is disobedience” as from the book I’ve read “Rome Sweet Home”. Can you help me how? Thank you.
Peace be with you dear ones!
God bless you in your discernment!
I’ll be praying for you and I ask that you pray for me in my discernment as well.
Sit them down and be completely frank. Explain how much you feel a calling and how you wish to follow it. Don’t think so much as to how they might react but keep in mind that whatever your decision, they’ll likely still love you immensely.
Whatever advice they give (maybe we should wait till you’re done with highschool, few years of college, etc), it would be wise to follow it. If they outright refuse to send you to seminary and you’re a minor, perhaps you should wait until you’re 18.
That’s my $0.02,
Keep praying and pray for me too! I am discerning religious as well.
Thanks for your comforting reply. I’m already 22 years old and have finished college. I’m already working. I already tried talking with them but indirectly that I may have plans for religious life. After i told them, the house was a sorrowful mystery, my father cried and my mother wanted me to stop being active in church service, but somehow I didn’t obey my mom, and she felt sorry for saying those words to me. So after those events, I stopped mentioning my desire for religious life. I never thought, it would be so tough to tell them.
Prayer is everything, through it I can feel consolation and strength in the midst when no one to tell and how to express my deepest desire for the Love of God.
I’ll pray for you too. Hope you’ll find the treasure God has buried in your heart enable for you to follow His Will.
You’re welcome and thank you for your prayers!
By my understanding of the situation, it seems like a situation that’s higher than my pay-grade and deeper than my understanding. Speak to your priest and/or spiritual director about the matter. I still think that it might be healthy all around for both of you to talk about it, be honest, and express all the concerns, yours and theirs. They’re your parents and they’re human, so obviously they have a few desires of their own.
As for the specifics and anything beyond that is probably better suited to someone that went through seminary and priestly services themselves.
I hope that helps much!
Loving God, please guide and inspire Alrak22 according to Your loving purpose.
Please bless Alrak22’s family in all things.
Send Your Holy Spirit to inspire each family member to live according to the call of Jesus, in the manner intended for them.
There was a wonderful pastor in the parish I grew up in for the first eighteen years of my life.
I remember him saying more than once, when he had the opportunity at Sunday Mass, that if parents have a son or daughter that is interested in a vocation they should allow them to discern that without trying to dissuade them.
He also mentioned, that parents who want their sons or daughters to pursue a religious vocation should not “push” them into it by their words every chance they get.
Mother Angelica had to run away from home to join the convent. Ask for her intercession.
MOST parents do not want their children to enter the seminary/religious life for a myriad of reasons, and it has been like this from the beginning. That is why many saints counseled people not to tell their families or anyone else.
These days, I feel that children have an extra burden. Often, they are just one of one or two children in the family, so they feel an obligation and burden towards their parents as they age. Parents often don’t understand that limiting family size also limits the freedom of the children. What few children there are feel obligated to bend under their parents’ pressure. In a larger family, children may still be faced with the same obstacles, but they don’t feel the same obligation.
Your parents do not understand at this point the graces they are theirs for this sacrifice. I am a mother of a Carmelite. I know other Carmelite moms and dads who kicked and screamed (well, not quite, but did a lot of arguing and pouting and crying) to keep their girls from entering. Over time, they are glad they lost the battle and become the strongest advocates of religious life.
Just a side note, the Church has always taught that once children are grown, parents have no business deciding their vocations for them, even to the point of sometimes calling it a mortal sin.
alrak22. You will be discerning until you make final vows or are ordained as a deacon/priest. That is the way it is in the Catholic Church. Thank God for that! Every day is a day to say “Yes” and that is according to your state of life. “What are we going to do today, Lord?”
Every parent is looking forward to grandchildren and most expect to have at least a couple. There is going to be a grieving time for them as they realise that. My parents´ only grandchild is the joy in their lives! I have seen them wait, and wait and then wait some more for a grandchild when my brother married. Your parents might also be thinking that as a nun/monk you will be locked up in a monastery and never see them again. Parents have hopes and wishes what their children will work with or study and who the future spouse is going to be. And they will have opinions about all of it!
If the relationship with your parents gets to hard then simply forbid them to talk about your future/religious life unless you are the one that is starting the conversation. It might sound hard and harsh but that might help you to discern in some kind of peace without everybody´s opinions. Talk to a few very select persons about religious life and make sure they keep quiet. A priest/deacon/sister/spiritual director/vocations director who hasn’t known you and/or your parents since you were in nappies can give you assistance on how to go forward in discernment as well as making sure your relationship with your parents doesn’t get any worse.
I asked a sister about how parents react when their daughter is talking about to entering religious life. It seems like parents need the time to accept that their child is a grown up and can make their own decisions. Parents, even pastors in protestant churches, have accepted that their daughter is called to religious life in the Catholic Church by the time their daughter is making final vows. All parents want is to see their children happy.
Go and visit a religious community. You will know if religious life is for you. It might not be the right community but at least you have slowly started to walk forward. Standing still and not doing anything is not helping you discern God´s will with your life. The religious community will want to get to know you to so you’ll be asked to visit several times before staying a longer period.
Thanks Trishie for your prayer! In a short span of time, God heard it! Thank you! May God always shower u his blessings.
So true Dorothy! Thanks!
Thank you @JHFamily, I really appreciate your sharing! hope my mom could read this. But I have a very good news.
Thanks @HeDa! Thanks for the suggestion. I already have visited some congregation and have this one whom I really appreaciated their apostolate, I have been secretly reaching them and you would not believe what happened next.
Hi, everyone (who’s reading this topic)! PRAISE GOD! God is so mystical and amazing.
Last, last week while I, my siblings and my mother were lying in our bed, we have this fun moment talking and sharing about things, and that point i able to side sweep saying a little joke (half meant) saying, "Ma, I’m going to miss this moment we have right now. “, and we just laughed. After a pause, my mom asked me, “When are you entering?”, I was a bit surprised of course that something leaped with joy in my heart. So I just didn’t take it seriously because I dont want to bring out again those moments that they somehow didnt like the sound of it, but still i replied and said, " If I can now, why not? Enable for me mom to find out earlier if that’s the path God is leading me.” *with a laugh. And I able to open up to my mom that a sister from that congregation was going in our place because she was going to attend the Vocation Jamboree and was planning to come into our house for a visit (of course, I was shocked why did I ever said that, but…). My mom asked “When is she coming in our house?”, I replied “On the 25th mom, so lets better prepare and invite her for a simple dinner.” and my mom said “Okey, what food are we going to serve?” and etc.etc.
My parents met this sister, and I can say it went well.
Praise to God, prayers have been heard. Thanks! Never underestimate the power of prayer!
I dont know what tomorrow might bring me, but one thing is for sure, God will love to work things for you, even on those things u say it’s impossible, u’ll be surprised because He loves to surprise u just like what happened to me! Now, I feel the support of my family. Hopefully, I’ll enter next year or earlier! Please do pray for me then. If it’s HIS will, let HIS WILL BE DONE!
THANK YOU and May God always bless us, and May we always open our hearts and minds to HIM!
Thanks for sharing that! Yes, the Lord has many surprises for us if only we keep on praying.
He answers prayers in ways that we never even dreamed of.
This brought tears to my eyes! God is so good to us, and He has obviously given your mother a special grace to answer, “Yes,” to His call as well. Maybe when the time is right, you can share with her the quote from St. Therese.
In the meantime, spend this time growing in the virtues, particularly those of obedience and charity. These virtues are so important in religious life!
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