I'm Scared

I’m new here and just joined. I do have some fears I’d like to get out in the open, but first let me give all you nice people my shortened life story. I’ve said this hundreds of times throughout my life.

I was born prematurely, one of a fraternal twin, at 24 weeks gestation.

My brother beloved, Zachary Nicholas suffered a grade V (out of V) intraventricular hemorrhage (IVH) 9 hours after birth. He is now safe in the arms of Jesus.

I suffered a grade IV IVH, which destroyed the pathways between synapses (brain messages) in my frontal lobe, right hemisphere. Because of this, I developed cerebral palsy (CP).

This is a neurologic issue, the pathways are now scar tissue. CP is chronic, irreversible, incurable but non-degenerating.

I am so sick of this condition, the constant doctor and therapy appointments and my family having no time because of me. It is manageable, but overall the condition never improves.

The brain can only send one underlying message to the muscles of the left side of my body: work. This is called spasticity, one of the hallmarks of cerebral palsy. The muscles are tight to begin with. When I try to use the muscles, they tighten up even more. No medications can be used and muscle relaxants are in vain because they target the whole body, not just one side.

I was baptized with water and christened along with my brother on the day of our birth. After spending 97 days in the NICU, I recieved an oil baptism and christening to fulfil the traditional sacrement and also so my parents could have pictures for my scrapbook.

I attened Sunday School up until I was 4, then we moved too far away from my parents’ prefered church so they stopped going. I never recieved Communion or Confirmation.

Now, years later, we are attending church and RCIA begins in November. I am attending of my own free will and my younger brother, Aaron, will ultimately be catechized because my parents put his name down on the list. :thumbsup:

Back to my original intent of this post, I have always been drawn to theology and philosphy since I was young. I have my parents’ support to become a nun if I choose, after I earn my high school diploma. Currently, I am finishing up my junior year.

I do have some fears though holding me back and I was hoping I could find some support with all you nice people.

(Links to general anti-Catholic website pages removed as per CAF policy. Please see Forum Rules)

I can’t get these fears ^^ out of my head and they’re really holding me back from my full potential. I know that there will always be people who disagree with my beliefs, but this websites are taking it too far. Evangelists and Southern Christians scare me, they just get so up in your face.

So if any of you would be so kind as to look into these and put my mind at ease, thank you.

May God’s blessings go with all you kind, wonderful people ~ Ariana Katlyn

Hi Ariana,

Welcome to CAF! Be not afriad! (says that in scripture, you know)

Your life sounds quite difficult, but everything will be 100% fixed in Heaven and your handicaps here on Earth we be a crown of glory for you.

I know what you mean about getting sick of your suffering and trials that seem to never end. You have a very substantial cross to carry through this life. It must mean Jesus thought you very strong, strong enough, to carry it. And don’t forget your suffering has redemptive value.

I have twin sister, by the way.

God Bless You!

This is what I was thinking as well.

Stay away from those websites!

Especially stay away from that Jesus is Savior site.

They are all garbage.


Picked through some of those… Wow, some hard hearts. all I got was a taste of hate.

There’s a great amount of misunderstanding (either through ignorance or wilful misrepresentation.) I wouldn’t worry too much. Poke around this site, read some of the tracts that address most of the strawmen and red herrings directly.

In this thread, though, why not pick a point at a time to ask about? There’s just so much on those links that it’s too much to get all at.

I’ll start with something that the first two links get wrong - idolatry. Veneration and admiration is not the same as adoration. While Catholics do “pray” to the saints, it’s more a matter of asking for their intercessions and not as a mean of idol worship. The Church is clear on this yet the 2 links would have you believe otherwise based mainly on their word.

God bless you! I pray the Holy Spirit continues to burn in you (as, He clear already has ignited the Flame by getting you this far :wink: )

Hi Ariana,

Welcome to the Catholic Answer Forums. :slight_smile:

I see from your post that you will be starting RCIA in the Fall. That’s great!

I looked briefly at the links that you provided in your post.

I am not really too sure what your question is about and what you are afraid of, as honestly from what I can see, the information in the links is all really slanted against the Catholic Church.

I guess from what I can say regarding the internet and any subject that you decide to look up, you can find negative information on it, just as you can find positive information on it.

Except for the first article in your link, the topics in your links are topics that come up here on Catholic Answers very regularly.

If you would like to read further on something that may already be a topic/subject here, you can try looking for a past thread topic by putting the subject in the search bar that is at the very top right of your Forum page, which is all of the way at the top of your computer screen.

You want the search bar that says “Search Forums,” and has a little gold colored search button at the very end of the search bar. You can put a subject or word or whatever you are searching for in there, and then click on the button.

For example, they are topics like, “Why do Catholics pray to Mary.” “Are Catholics Praying to Statues.” And so on.

If you are looking for more information on the Catholic faith, there is the Catechism of the Catholic Church. You can find it on-line if you just want to look up various sections on it, for example.

There are also some books to read, too, that cover information on the Catholic faith. One of them is called, “Catholicism for Dummies,” written by Rev. John Trigilio, and another one that answers questions about the faith is, “Why Do Catholics Do That?” written by Kevin Orlin Johnson.

Thank you, my friends!

I know I am strong. I survive, that’s what I do. After hearing my story, people call me insparational. I’ve had people who have met me years beforehand, only to see me again years later and still remember me.

I do daily devotional readings and Rosary prayers. I know that I am loved by the Father, Jesus, Mary and all the Saints. I hope Zachary still knows who I am.

It’s the whole relationship starting that is hard for me.

People say that they are a part of the Living Religion, that they know the Living God.

My pastor says the he has a dialogue with God, that it’s always possible to speak to and recieve answers from God. He says it’s not hearing with your ears, but almost like hearing a thought in your head that you know is from God.

This is what I yearn for, to be a part of this Living Religion, to know and recieve His will for me from the Living God.

To communicate with God? To converse with Jesus? I thought it too good to be true. I want very much to do this, I just do not know how.

Hello again, Ariana.

Yes, you are inspirational!

Well, all that I can tell you from my own experience–to keep getting closer to the Lord–is to keep on praying and going to church, and receiving the sacraments. Keep on persevering. :slight_smile:

Welcome to CAF!

One of the three books which brought me back to God was *Karen, *which you have probably heard a million times from us older folks :wink: about a girl with CP whose mother started the national organization back in the time when the recommendation was institutionalization.

As to your question about idolatry, Scott Hahn, in the book *Home Sweet Rome, *says that Protestants think of worship as singing songs and praying (along with homilies), and thus, when they hear we pray to Mary and the saints, they think we are worshipping them. But for Catholics, Orthodox, and “high church” deniminations, worship is *sacrificing, *which the Protestants do not have, for the most part.

So we are part of a huge Church which exists in Heaven and Purgatory as well as here on earth. Just as Protestants ask their friends and “prayer warriors” to pray for them, so do we ask known prayer warriors to pray for us :slight_smile: It’s just that we have a bigger group to ask!


Thank you for posting!

Please be aware that there are many non-Catholics who have been misinformed about the Catholic Church, and they used every opportunity to discredit what the Church teaches.

We try to help with the confusion and explain what we actually believe and teach.

There are answers to every question and/or doubt you may have.

Our Lord Jesus Christ gave the Church authority. (scriptural). We call it Magisterium.

The Church has Sacred Scripture.

The Church has Sacred Tradition with a capital “T”, not just the small “t” disciplinary items.

Those three things I mentioned can be described as a tripod or three-legged stool.

Many other Christians, sincere as they are, only rely on Sacred Scripture. It can be taken out of context very easily, and needs correct teaching to understand fully. To only rely on Scripture is likened to a one-legged stool…it doesn’t hold up.

God bless you on your spiritual journey to Him! Be not afraid! He is with you.

I’m glad your parents are finally allowing you to attend RCIA and will pray for your success there. As for becoming a nun, I would advise waiting a few years before taking that step. You need to be mature in the faith before taking that step. But in a year or so if you still have the desire you could begin exploring various possibilities. First you will have to find an order or association that accepts women with physical disabilities. But even if you can find none, you can still devote yourself to serving the Lord by joining a 3rd order lay apostolate. There are many of these. Typically, these people, married and single, live the normal lay persons life but spend their spare time serving the needy, the suffering, and the needs of the Church. It can be a path which leads to great holiness.

I looked at your links and quite frankly they appear to be published by your typical Catholic hate groups, of which there are many. They are mere stories designed to stir up hate. You would be well advised to avoid such sites and any type of hate literture. History is filled with such hate mongering. It began as soon as Christ began his public ministry. In fact, the ancient Israelites faced the same problem from those surrounding them and even from their own people who were always tempted to follow pagan practices…

God Bless

RC church was founded by Jesus Himself
No other christian group has this.

Jesus told us in the Bible He would be trully present in the RC church, "I am the bread of life. (of the bread) This is my body. (of the wine) this is my blood.

Other christian groups were founded by PEOPLE

Slava Isusu Krystu! Glory to Jesus Christ!

Those hate filled, anti-Catholic sites you cited are nothing but the evil one’s effort to keep people away from the Church that Jesus Christ founded. I would advise you to keep away from them or any site whose main focus is vile lies about other Christians, that is clearly Not Godly.

I hope the following will give you hope:

Slava na viky!

I have never read nor heard of the book *Karen *until now. I am now eager to find it. Thank you!

Thank you as well to who gave me the “Famous People with CP” link. It certainly did give me hope!

And thank you once again to those of you who calmly pointed out the hate sites that were scaring me so much. I did not realize that there was such an effort to keep people away from the true Church that Jesus Christ founded.

The Protestant churches were established during the Reformation, which began in 1517. (Most of today’s Protestant churches are actually offshoots of the original Protestant offshoots.) The father away these people break off from Catholicism, the more untrue and diluted the faith becomes, no matter how sincere the person is in their beliefs.

I agree with others. Do not visit those links that are anti-catholic. You need to build your faith-become more informed about catholicism and make your knowledge of catholicism stronger. Even if you don’t start RCIA until the fall, you can begin now by reading books about being Catholic and what we believe. Before I converted I visited the many Catholic bookstores in my city and found many good books to read.
Or go to your local library. Good luck with your journey. I pray that you perservere with becoming Catholic like you have perservered through everthing else in your life up until now.

I came in from outside, as a protestant / evangelical, and I faced like many the enormous baggage of anti RCC myths.

I discovered that half of what is said about RCC is actually false, the rest is justifiable.

If there are keys to that journey it is in several things.

First for me was breaking down the belief that evangelicals and protestants have it “right”
In essence… If reading the bible and discerning the spirit were enough to determine true doctrine, then why are there so many (tens of thousands!) of denominations all fundamentally opposed on doctrine? It does not matter what the issue is but go to a forum like christianchat, and what you will see is a fight on every single issue. Once saved always saved vs Saved can lose it. Real presence or not (and ten other flavours of that), Baptism valuable? of infants? and so on.

In fact at the end of his life Martin Luther was appalled at the monster he created, of everyone creating their own doctrine and sect - saying that only the catholic councils could offer the church back unity - he never wanted to leave and lauded the catholic church for giving mankind the scripture! (you do not here protestants quoting that often!)

The issue is the provable false hood of “bible alone” if the ultimate truth was the bible contained all necessary truth it would have to say so to be consistent, and it does not! So it is logically,biblically and historically false. The new testament did not exist for a few centureies after christ.

So the question then is authority. Where is the authority over doctrine? And the answer is found in Matthew 16- indeed the early church was sacramental, liturgical, believed in real presence and so on. Just as we do today.

The bible says “the pillar and foundation of truth” is the church NOT the bible.
So which is the only church that has survived doctrine essentially unchanged for millenia? There is only one candidate.

So check out the history of the early church. And the new testament. Authors lke Scott hahn or steve ray (and on youtube)

Also watch some of the videos on “coming home network” - the journey home on EWTN. Protestant ministers and theologians of all denominations explaining why they had to come home to RCC. Because it was the only answer.

And you will find the anti RCC arguments fall away.

I did the journey you now have. And I love my home in RCC.
I post on evangelical sites, and they cannot win the arguments except by inventing myths.

God bless you!

Father, we adore Thee.
Father, we love Thee.
Father, we thank Thee.
Father, we bless Thee.

In joy and in sorrow, may we bless Thee.
In sickness and in health, may we bless Thee.
In prosperity and in adversity, may we bless Thee.
In consolation and in desolation, may we bless Thee.
In life and in death, may we bless Thee.
In time and in eternity, may we bless Thee.

Father, hear us.
Father, graciously hear us.

Lamb of God, well-beloved Son of the Father,
spare us, O Lord.
Lamb of God, commanding us to be perfect as the Father,
graciously hear us, O Lord.
Lamb of God, Our Mediator with the Father,
have mercy on us.

Let Us Pray.

Our Father Who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy Name;
Thy kingdom come; Thy Will be done on earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread; And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation; but deliver us from evil. Amen.

By the way, I did find an order which accepts discerners with disabilities up in Connecticut ! :smiley:

Benedictine Sisters of Jesus Crucified:

Founded in France in 1930, the Roman Catholic Order of Benedictines of Jesus Crucified is one of the few religious orders that widely accepts women with physical disabilities. The order maintains a U.S. presence in the Connecticut Monastery of the Glorious Cross, a fully accessible facility that is currently home to 21 sisters. Sister Mary Zita, O.S.B., vocation director, says the community is able to accept women who are blind, have heart conditions, diabetes, orthopedic conditions, post-polio conditions, and spinal bifida. They do not accept women with mental or neurological disorders.

“Our proper charism within the Benedictine family,” the community says, “is to embody a joyful participation in the Paschal Mystery of Christ. Ours is a daily ‘Passover’ lived out in the contemplation of Jesus Crucified and in the radiance of his resurrection. We embody the Paschal Mystery in a monastic life that brings together sisters in good health and sisters in fragile health or with a physical handicap.”


I also found another Benedictine monastery a little closer to home in Greensburg, PA. :smiley:


Ariana Katlyn, many good responses here. But one of the most important was from TimothyH and others. Please stay away from the links you posted. They are very anti-Catholic! Start to read the Catechism of the Catholic Church or visit sites such as this one here and click on Faith/Teachings. But again, please do stay well clear of the sites you linked. I cannot emphasize this enough! As you yourself said after you mentioned these sites; "I can’t get these fears ^^ out of my head and they’re really holding me back from my full potential." Those sites will continue to plague and hinder you and worse if you continue to read them. And by the way, welcome to CAF! :):thumbsup:

Peace, Mark

Thread moved to apologetics. :slight_smile:

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