I'm still breastfeeding my 2.5 year old - getting negative remarks


#1

I am disappointed that I have to keep my breastfeeding a private thing...everytime I mention to someone that I'm stil breastfeeding my son (2.5 years) they look at me with disgust...like I'm doing something wierd.

It's disappointed (with society's general view of extended bfing) b/c I'm giving him nutrition and love and I only do it at home in his bedroom (before bed). I keep it a secret for the most part.

Why are people so grossed out by it? :shrug:

I've heard:

"If they can ask for it, they are too old."

"If they can eat a steak, they are too old."


#2

I don't think 2.5 years old is too old to breastfeed but I wouldn't do it past the age of 3. That said, I am sorry to hear that people are judging you.


#3

Why do you care?

Do what's best for baby! You can't make everyone happy, and if baby is benefitting and you are happy and he's happy do what you think best.


#4

[quote="Serap, post:1, topic:286500"]
I am disappointed that I have to keep my breastfeeding a private thing...everytime I mention to someone that I'm stil breastfeeding my son (2.5 years) they look at me with disgust...like I'm doing something wierd.

It's disappointed (with society's general view of extended bfing) b/c I'm giving him nutrition and love and I only do it at home in his bedroom (before bed). I keep it a secret for the most part.

Why are people so grossed out by it? :shrug:

I've heard:

"If they can ask for it, they are too old."

"If they can eat a steak, they are too old."

[/quote]

There is strong evidence that the longer you breast feed your child, then many health benefits accrue. Keep it up.


#5

[quote="Mary_Gail_36, post:3, topic:286500"]
Why do you care?

Do what's best for baby! You can't make everyone happy, and if baby is benefitting and you are happy and he's happy do what you think best.

[/quote]

Thanks Mary.

For my CAF friends that have followed my son's journey...he is a high needs child and I really think the breastfeeding helps him relax and get mommy love before bed. I can honestly see myself breastfeeding him b4 bed for another year or two, until he's ready to be more independent.

He is very sensitive and really needs to connect with mommy. I work, so this is a really good way for him to remain connected to me.

My daughter never had this need to the same degree. I stopped bfing her at 22 months.


#6

[quote="Serap, post:5, topic:286500"]
Thanks Mary.

For my CAF friends that have followed my son's journey...he is a high needs child and I really think the breastfeeding helps him relax and get mommy love before bed. I can honestly see myself breastfeeding him b4 bed for another year or two, until he's ready to be more independent.

He is very sensitive and really needs to connect with mommy. I work, so this is a really good way for him to remain connected to me.

My daughter never had this need to the same degree. I stopped bfing her at 22 months.

[/quote]

My little guy was 2 and 8 months. He gave it up on his own, sometimes prefering to cuddle. We still cuddle before bed. "Time for cuddle, and hugs!"


#7

[quote="epan, post:4, topic:286500"]
There is strong evidence that the longer you breast feed your child, then many health benefits accrue. Keep it up.

[/quote]

what are the benefits at his age beside psychological ones?

When he's upset, he touches my chest to help sooth himself. He especially needs to touch me there when he's sick. I only do this in my home (of course) :o


#8

@serap: As far as I am concerned, you & hubby make the decisions about what's best for your family and your child; as has been pointed out upthread, there are lots of studies showing benefits of what in our society is called extended breastfeeding but is probably just breastfeeding everywhere else.

Now for the disclaimer. Our little guy also still nurses at 2 years and six months, again, generally only at night, first thing in the morning, and in case of injury or upset. His brother stopped on his own at 18 months, but this little fella does not seem to be ready to give it up.

We have become "those people" that we might have chuckled at when we were single or newly married - - co-sleeping, BF-ing, homeschooling, etc.

Although, I have said in the past, if the child can write an essay about BF-ing, it is probably time to give it up. :)


#9

[quote="Serap, post:1, topic:286500"]
I am disappointed that I have to keep my breastfeeding a private thing...everytime I mention to someone that I'm stil breastfeeding my son (2.5 years) they look at me with disgust...like I'm doing something wierd.

It's disappointed (with society's general view of extended bfing) b/c I'm giving him nutrition and love and I only do it at home in his bedroom (before bed). I keep it a secret for the most part.

Why are people so grossed out by it? :shrug:

I've heard:

"If they can ask for it, they are too old."

"If they can eat a steak, they are too old."

[/quote]

I commend you for breastfeeding. The average age of breastfeeding around the world is to breastfeed until the age of 4. I think people are grossed out because they are uncomfortable.


#10

[quote="Serap, post:1, topic:286500"]
I am disappointed that I have to keep my breastfeeding a private thing...everytime I mention to someone that I'm stil breastfeeding my son (2.5 years) they look at me with disgust...like I'm doing something wierd.

It's disappointed (with society's general view of extended bfing) b/c I'm giving him nutrition and love and I only do it at home in his bedroom (before bed). I keep it a secret for the most part.

Why are people so grossed out by it? :shrug:

I've heard:

"If they can ask for it, they are too old."

"If they can eat a steak, they are too old."

[/quote]

There will always be those who do not agree with your parenting decisions; unfortunately, there also is a subset of people who don't feel complete until they've made it abundantly clear they think you're making poor parenting choices.

What are you doing to do? :shrug:

Let the comments roll off you. Don't get worked up by anything they say unless they're actively trying to get you to end your breastfeeding relationship with your child. Allow someone one unnecessary comment about your breastfeeding; the second comment earns the offender the pointed "I cannot believe you're so socially inept that you just said that to me" look.

I close friend of mine breastfed all of her children until they were at least seven. She became a grand master at shutting down rude comments about breastfeeding.

Luna


#11

[quote="Serap, post:1, topic:286500"]
I am disappointed that I have to keep my breastfeeding a private thing...everytime I mention to someone that I'm stil breastfeeding my son (2.5 years) they look at me with disgust...like I'm doing something wierd.

It's disappointed (with society's general view of extended bfing) b/c I'm giving him nutrition and love and I only do it at home in his bedroom (before bed). I keep it a secret for the most part.

Why are people so grossed out by it? :shrug:

[/quote]

Because they're highly sexualized and forgot that God made breasts for feeding. Just ignore them. Only a moron would criticize a mother for breastfeeding her child. Tell them to continue hiding behind their cellophane wrappers and cardboard-box-dinners and mind their own business....in a nice way of course :p

I deal with the same looks of disgust when people learn I drink milk from my family cow. I say, "I'm sorry it's not cooked and half-rotted on it's journey across the country despite a dairy being a few miles away --- like the stuff you drink the store. Here, let me leave a glass out for you for a month like the stuff you're accustomed to." :D


#12

Hello-

I assume you & your husband have discussed all this..
What is his opinion if I may ask?

Thanks


#13

[quote="Serap, post:7, topic:286500"]
what are the benefits at his age beside psychological ones?

When he's upset, he touches my chest to help sooth himself. He especially needs to touch me there when he's sick. I only do this in my home (of course) :o

[/quote]

Greater immune health, fewer infections, less incidence of diabetes later in life, lower incidence of childhood obesity, less tendency to develop allergies, possible lower risk of asthma and celiac diseases, possible lower risk of breast cancer for females, possible lower risk of cardiovascular disease, lower cholesterol, lower c-reactive protein... all of these show up later in life.


#14

[quote="Armor_of_Light, post:12, topic:286500"]
Hello-

I assume you & your husband have discussed all this..
What is his opinion if I may ask?

Thanks

[/quote]

My husband is all for it and in fact encourages it. He says to my son, "You want mommy's boobie?"

My son says, "Drink boobie!"

I'm lucky in that regard. He is very nuturing towards his kids.


#15

[quote="epan, post:13, topic:286500"]
Greater immune health, fewer infections, less incidence of diabetes later in life, lower incidence of childhood obesity, less tendency to develop allergies, possible lower risk of asthma and celiac diseases, possible lower risk of breast cancer for females, possible lower risk of cardiovascular disease, lower cholesterol, lower c-reactive protein... all of these show up later in life.

[/quote]

I think I also read that mom has a lower chance of endometrial and ovarian cancer?


#16

[quote="Serap, post:1, topic:286500"]
I am disappointed that I have to keep my breastfeeding a private thing...everytime I mention to someone that I'm stil breastfeeding my son (2.5 years) they look at me with disgust...like I'm doing something wierd.

It's disappointed (with society's general view of extended bfing) b/c I'm giving him nutrition and love and I only do it at home in his bedroom (before bed). I keep it a secret for the most part.

Why are people so grossed out by it? :shrug:

I've heard:

"If they can ask for it, they are too old."

"If they can eat a steak, they are too old."

[/quote]

My younger brother breast fed till he was 4.

Honestly, I don't see a problem with 2.5 if that's what you want to do. But I definitely don't think my mom should have breast fed my bro till he was 4. I most certainly would never do it for that long.


#17

[quote="Serap, post:1, topic:286500"]
I am disappointed that I have to keep my breastfeeding a private thing...everytime I mention to someone that I'm stil breastfeeding my son (2.5 years) they look at me with disgust...like I'm doing something wierd.

It's disappointed (with society's general view of extended bfing) b/c I'm giving him nutrition and love and I only do it at home in his bedroom (before bed). I keep it a secret for the most part.

Why are people so grossed out by it? :shrug:

I've heard:

"If they can ask for it, they are too old."

"If they can eat a steak, they are too old."

[/quote]

They react because it's not "normal".
That doesn't mean it's "bad".

Why discuss it at all, though? :shrug: I mean, I do a lot of things that are "not normal", but I wouldn't discuss them publicly without *expecting *a reaction.


#18

Looking at trends today, I consider myself very fortunate that my mother breastfed me past six months, let alone past one year. I suppose it's a little unusual for a two and a half year old, but not unheard of, nor harmful.

People have their own opinions as to what is right and wrong regarding child-rearing, and frankly, many don't know what they're talking about. No one likes being mocked or criticized, but remember that you're doing this for your child, not for adults.


#19

[quote="Em_in_FL, post:17, topic:286500"]
They react because it's not "normal".
That doesn't mean it's "bad".

Why discuss it at all, though? :shrug: I mean, I do a lot of things that are "not normal", but I wouldn't discuss them publicly without *expecting *a reaction.

[/quote]

Yeah I'm learning not to talk about it with people. I hope society changes their perception of extended bfing soon. It seems to be happening already.


#20

I'll play devil's advocate here...maybe 2.5 years IS too old to be breastfeeding. Maybe it's more for your benefit than for his. Biologically he does not need breastmilk.

On the other hand, he's your child, and 2.5 years is not so old as to make it awkward for him.


DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.