I'm stuck.


#1

This is going to be rather long and I’m not even for sure that I’m posting in the right place but any input would be thankful.

I was raised very traditionally in the Catholic faith. I wouldn’t cuss or do things I had been taught wrong. I went to confession and said my prayers. A rosary was always near by (I haven’t seen people with rosaries in mass like I once did anymore.) Oddly enough I didn’t really stray from anything until I hit puppetry. This means nothing Sexual or anything of course just an odd factor. Perhaps it was because I was starting to find myself. Some how I winded up going to High School in South Jersey. Now New Jersey it self is just not an ideal place to go to High School or much less anything else really. It was pure sin.

The school I went to was more or less like prison. Fights every day, drugs, sex, guns, and evil people. Not to make it sound like the mafia but there were quite a few major gangs in my school. You helped them they helped you. You joined them and they had your back. I refused. The gangs were divided very differently but race was a major factor. Being half Mexican and half Irish and German I’m on the fence quite literally when it comes to racial things. I am not one or the other I’m both. I either defend both together or choose a side if they do not pertain to each other in the situation. I never choose sides if they effect each other. So I found other ways to survive I became a fixer. You had a problem I fixed. I did not deal with drugs or anything like those kinds of problems but if you got in trouble I got you out of it. I was the random witness. I began wearing clothes that were things men of faith should not wear. I swore, I did things that I knew were sinful. I listen to bad music I do everything a Catholic boy shouldn’t.

I’m now 19 and a thousand miles away from that evil place. But I’m still in habit of dong sinful things. I’m lost really lost and I’ve dug this hole. I then stopped digging down and went in another direction. I’ve lost my ladder back to the surface. I don’t know what to do to get back on the path. Help?


#2

Go to confession and resume the sacraments. You need the grace of Christ flowing in your life.


#3

Friend,

You say you were raised Catholic. Were you confirmed? Did you get all the sacraments?

If yes, then it may be as simple as contacting a priest or your local parish and make an appointment for the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Once there, just pour your heart out.

And since you've posted in a Catholic forum, I'd presume you were looking for Catholic answers. In that vain, I'd say start going to mass. And pray, pray, pray.

May God bless you, protect you, and guide you on your journey out of the hole.

Peace brother.


#4

YES! :thumbsup::smiley:


#5

Friend you are far from stuck. As the other posters said, go to confession and attend Mass. Get grace into your life. Understand that the Father loves you and wants nothing more than for you to accept His love.

That’s all He asks from us. Let Him love you and follow Him. We are all going to fall down, we are all going to do wrong. Many of us have done grave evils for a long time. You are quite young yet and surely if you let God in now you will have a lifetime of doing His will ahead of you. And you’ll find that if you do His will, you will be quite content.


#6

I've been doing that and yes I was confirmed and everything. I go to mass and I pray and confess now but I just don't feel the same as I used to. Could it be I've lived this way for so long that it will just be a bit before it feels normal again?


#7

[quote="CatholicCB, post:6, topic:291949"]
I've been doing that and yes I was confirmed and everything. I go to mass and I pray and confess now but I just don't feel the same as I used to. Could it be I've lived this way for so long that it will just be a bit before it feels normal again?

[/quote]

You could be feeling shame for your past, but do your best to let go of it.

Take it as an opportunity to get even closer to God. Sometimes we are filled with grace and other times it recedes somewhat. As it says in my signature, if you are patient in adversity there is an opportunity to make great spiritual progress. Take this feeling that something is wrong as a sign that God is imploring you to ever more hand your life over to Him.

By the way, my signature is a quotation from the Imitation of Christ. I will forever strongly urge people to get a copy of it and keep it close to them forever.


#8

[quote="CatholicCB, post:1, topic:291949"]
This is going to be rather long and I'm not even for sure that I'm posting in the right place but any input would be thankful.

I was raised very traditionally in the Catholic faith. I wouldn't cuss or do things I had been taught wrong. I went to confession and said my prayers. A rosary was always near by (I haven't seen people with rosaries in mass like I once did anymore.) **Oddly enough I didn't really stray from anything until I hit puppetry. **This means nothing Sexual or anything of course just an odd factor. Perhaps it was because I was starting to find myself. Some how I winded up going to High School in South Jersey. Now New Jersey it self is just not an ideal place to go to High School or much less anything else really. It was pure sin.

The school I went to was more or less like prison. Fights every day, drugs, sex, guns, and evil people. Not to make it sound like the mafia but there were quite a few major gangs in my school. You helped them they helped you. You joined them and they had your back. I refused. The gangs were divided very differently but race was a major factor. Being half Mexican and half Irish and German I'm on the fence quite literally when it comes to racial things. I am not one or the other I'm both. I either defend both together or choose a side if they do not pertain to each other in the situation. I never choose sides if they effect each other. So I found other ways to survive I became a fixer. You had a problem I fixed. I did not deal with drugs or anything like those kinds of problems but if you got in trouble I got you out of it. I was the random witness. I began wearing clothes that were things men of faith should not wear. I swore, I did things that I knew were sinful. I listen to bad music I do everything a Catholic boy shouldn't.

I'm now 19 and a thousand miles away from that evil place. But I'm still in habit of dong sinful things. I'm lost really lost and I've dug this hole. I then stopped digging down and went in another direction. I've lost my ladder back to the surface. I don't know what to do to get back on the path. Help?

[/quote]

Puppetry? Something tells me that was an auto-complete fail...

:D

Maybe you meant to write "puberty."

Other than that, go to confession as often as you can. Go to Mass often, not just once a week, and find an adoration chapel to go and spend time with the Lord. Whatever you are tempted by - FLEE FROM IT! Pray to Mary and St. Joseph too. Find a good Catholic mentor in the parish and spend time with him. Join the Knights of Columbus. Do pro-life work. Do penance. Fast.

Welcome back home!


#9

catholiccb- you're not from vineland are you? the way you described where you're from sounds oddly familiar. One of the high schools really is shaped like a prison and gangs are very prevalent in this area..it's so sad.

Anyway that was just a side note. Go and talk to a priest and I mean really sit down. I felt the same way. I felt like all the bad I did in the world for so many years couldn't just be removed by one or two trips to the confessional. It was after I talked to my priest I realized it wasn't God who hadn't forgiven me, it was me! You need to let go of the past. You can start fresh and clean. It's not going to be easy because habits can sometimes be very hard to break, but don't stop trying.

Remember you are a child of God and He loves you. The fact that you acknowledge your shortcomings is wonderful because there are many who don't. I'll be praying for you that God will help you find the peace you deserve until then keep your chin up and keep up the good fight. You'll get there, no worries ;)


#10

The devil wants you to think that lack of ' feeling' is lack of authenticity, ie; if you dont' feel' all holy, youre not really converted. He spends a lot of time accusing the converting/ repentant sinner of being an imposter. Make sure hes wasting his time. Dont believe him. Faithfulness-- not feelings -- are our participation in our own holiness. Our faithfulness and God's abundant grace is all we need. Today is the only time we get to be faithful and receive God's grace.

Conversely, folks tend to want a contract from God-- a handshake, a guarantee, some sensible consolation or something-- that they're accepted by Him, that He's forgiven them, that everything's gonna be ok. Look to the cross. We have better than a contract. We have a covenant in His blood.


#11

The path has changed and become more difficult. The innocence of youth has been forsaken and can not be recovered. But just as a friendship, once broken, can become a friendship again, it will not be the same friendship. You are a man now. Accept what the past is and use it to guide you in the future. Pray the Rosary, the Divine Mercy, the Litany of the Holy Spirit. Bring something new to strengthen your new friendship. Jesus always has His hands open to you.

:)


#12

You will be in my prayers. Yes please return to the sacraments of our church. One thing you may not remember is this: until you go to confession and receive absolution, please do not receive Holy Communion. That is important. A priest can explain why. God bless you and keep you safe. Mother Mary will most certainly help you find your way back to her Son Jesus. :gopray2::signofcross:


#13

[quote="CatholicCB, post:6, topic:291949"]
I've been doing that and yes I was confirmed and everything. I go to mass and I pray and confess now but I just don't feel the same as I used to. Could it be I've lived this way for so long that it will just be a bit before it feels normal again?

[/quote]

Just keep doing what you are doing. You are not lost. The Lord loves you unconditionally.

I while back I heard a testimony of a young man who lived a very wild life, and even after he converted he had great temptations and nightmares. He got through it all and is now at peace in his faith. (not that temptation stops, but that he has grown stronger with the grace of God.)


#14

[quote="Dorothy, post:13, topic:291949"]
Just keep doing what you are doing. You are not lost. The Lord loves you unconditionally.

I while back I heard a testimony of a young man who lived a very wild life, and even after he converted he had great temptations and nightmares. He got through it all and is now at peace in his faith. (not that temptation stops, but that he has grown stronger with the grace of God.)

[/quote]

Even us 'oldies' struggle, as I have for some time. The DRY spell is tough, and discouraging. With God's help and graces, we will stick it out.
Recently I read the Mother Theresa lived for many years with this feeling, so I ask myself why not me also. It would be wonderful to FEEL close to Our Lord, but faith is a decision we choose, whether it helps me to feel good or whether I must struggle and feel nothing.
If young people find a suitable prayer group to attend, it can be an encouragement and a support system. YOUTH 2000 is an international youth group with a great reputation. Please God you will find one close enough to attend.:blessyou:


#15

Reading your post made me feel wonderful! You were in the claws of satan and you went back to God! Not many people do that! And obviously the devil isn´t happy about it, thus making you not "feel" like you deserve to be forgiven. It´s a temptation. If you have gone to Confession, truly sorry for what you did, then you are absolved of every sin you commited in the past. BE HAPPY, GOD LOVES YOU AND FORGAVE YOU! Just begin living a good life now, keep going to Mass frecuently, recieve communion as often as possible, go to Confession when you need to and pray! :thumbsup:


#16

In addition to the sacraments, I think it would be good for you to surround yourself with more positive influences now, too. (By this I mean friends in the faith.) It is a common trait of humanity to pick up on the thoughts, habits, and mannerisms of the people they surround themselves with. Most of the time the changes in ourselves are so subtle and gradual we may not even be conscious of the fact that we are doing this! But, based on your original post, you already know all this and I'm preaching to the choir :) So I would suggest that you use this influence system in reverse! Try to find someone who inspires you, or a group of people who are on fire for the faith. New converts are wonderful in their excitement for the faith. Youth groups are fantastic for making Catholic friends. Bible studies are great for growing in knowledge and understanding of the Faith. Volunteering for a Catholic organization can be a real "boost" for your soul. And a spiritual director is a huge blessing who could encourage you to stay on track.

God bless you! You're on the right path. Keep running the good race :)


#17

Sicklerville sadly. I went to Winslow if you don’t know the school you might know it as Edgewood.


#18

[quote="Pekita, post:15, topic:291949"]
Reading your post made me feel wonderful! You were in the claws of satan and you went back to God!

[/quote]

Its funny you say that. This one time a kid much younger then me deiced to pull a knife on me. I was a C/1stLt. In Army JROTC and he was apart of a detail I had command over. He was mad because I gave him an order he refused and I threatened him with push ups. Next thing I know a knife was on me. In the middle of the courtyard with loads of classrooms able to see. No one came to help me not a teacher or anything. I grabbed the knife and he freaked out. I broke it in half so that it won't stay open making it useless and dropped it into a drain. He ran before I could drag him to someone with authority. Looking back I guess it was dumb I could have beat him up he was so little compared to me but something said no. I feel as though it was a sign saying your better then that. Then this. I started narrowing out after that.


#19

[quote="CatholicCB, post:17, topic:291949"]
Sicklerville sadly. I went to Winslow if you don't know the school you might know it as Edgewood.

[/quote]

Oh alright you're not that far from me. Keep up the faith CB!


#20

That’s a wonderful idea! Only one problem…where? Especially a young adult group it’s very sparse here in SJ. It’s hard to be a young Catholic who actually desires to live their faith. It’s hard to be a young anything and live out your faith! :ehh:


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