This is going to be rather long and I’m not even for sure that I’m posting in the right place but any input would be thankful.
I was raised very traditionally in the Catholic faith. I wouldn’t cuss or do things I had been taught wrong. I went to confession and said my prayers. A rosary was always near by (I haven’t seen people with rosaries in mass like I once did anymore.) Oddly enough I didn’t really stray from anything until I hit puppetry. This means nothing Sexual or anything of course just an odd factor. Perhaps it was because I was starting to find myself. Some how I winded up going to High School in South Jersey. Now New Jersey it self is just not an ideal place to go to High School or much less anything else really. It was pure sin.
The school I went to was more or less like prison. Fights every day, drugs, sex, guns, and evil people. Not to make it sound like the mafia but there were quite a few major gangs in my school. You helped them they helped you. You joined them and they had your back. I refused. The gangs were divided very differently but race was a major factor. Being half Mexican and half Irish and German I’m on the fence quite literally when it comes to racial things. I am not one or the other I’m both. I either defend both together or choose a side if they do not pertain to each other in the situation. I never choose sides if they effect each other. So I found other ways to survive I became a fixer. You had a problem I fixed. I did not deal with drugs or anything like those kinds of problems but if you got in trouble I got you out of it. I was the random witness. I began wearing clothes that were things men of faith should not wear. I swore, I did things that I knew were sinful. I listen to bad music I do everything a Catholic boy shouldn’t.
I’m now 19 and a thousand miles away from that evil place. But I’m still in habit of dong sinful things. I’m lost really lost and I’ve dug this hole. I then stopped digging down and went in another direction. I’ve lost my ladder back to the surface. I don’t know what to do to get back on the path. Help?