This is a really tough decision. I have two years left to finish my Nursing degree. I’ve taken several years off because my kids were just too young and it was impossible to do. My deferrments end in Dec. So, I either have to get a job and start paying my loans back or go to school at least part time. The downside to this is I’d have to find child care arrangements for Jacob. We’re hoping my SIL would be interested in watching him, but I haven’t asked her yet.
We really need for me to get this done. It is so hard to support these kids on one income, and they’re just getting more expensive as they get older.
On the other hand, money is really tight right now and I am supposed to meet with a couple this weekend who want me to watch their toddler full time. We really need this cash right now. But I don’t feel right taking something like that on if I’m just going to turn around and go to school in a few months.
Another issue is that I’m really scared because I feel like I’ve forgotten everything I’ve learned so far, especially in my nursing and chemistry classes. I have to take biochemistry in the spring before I can continue any nursing classes and I STINK at chemistry. And I’m sure i’ve forgotten all the basics. I’ve already had to drop out of that class once because I was so lost. That could’ve been because the teacher was horrible. The teacher who teaches in the spring is supposed to be very good, so I’m hoping and praying that’ll be what it takes. I have to get an A or else I will have to take another science requirement over again. My science average got messed up my last semester because I was so stressed out with the kids that I got a D in Genetics. This really aggravates me because I know I’m capable of pulling A’s and B’s, but that last semester I almost had a breakdown because family life was not mixing well with school life. I’m hoping this will be better this time because my kids are older and more independant.
I also have reservations about finishing with nursing. I’m afraid I won’t be good at it or that I don’t have what it takes. I guess it’s scary because I haven’t actually worked in ten years. So the thought of jumping into such a serious career like that is very very intimidating. I’m scared! (I’ve never told anybody that before :o ).
ugh, this is confusing. I feel like I need to do this for my family’s overall well-being. But I’m torn because I still want to be a sahm.
Maybe DH and i will just win the lottery tonight and I won’t have to worry about it anymore…