I'm trying to understand who I am, sexually speaking. Is it bad that I look at porn...?

Is it bad if I look at porn to try to determine which gender I’m attracted to? I know I should check this out on a morality perspective.

Yes. Google “pornography” and Catechism of the Catholicm
Church. Click on the Vatican link (.va)

You might want to search “theology of the body”.

I’m a little bewildered here, but why would u need to look at porn to determine this? Are u unable to tell by just being physically around men or women? :shrug:

Here’s an article from CNA (Catholic News Agency) about the The Harmful Effects of Pornography

Also, it’s typically a mortal sin to willingly watch this kind of stuff.

:confused: I had that figured out when I was like 4-years-old and undressing my sister’s barbie dolls.

Honestly, if this isn’t a troll post, you might be asexual or something if you feel like you need to watch porn to figure that out.

Very worthwhile response here...

A couple of things might depend on your age ? Your family & friend environment,

I know as a teen I knew exactly what I was interested in, I didn’t need porn…

Yes, it is wrong. Don’t lie to yourself. Nothing good will come from looking at porn.

I thought this too.

You don’t have to see sex to know if you are attracted to someone:shrug:.

Absolutely YES it is bad to look at porn - regardless of the reason.

Engaging in this activity will not help you to properly discern your attractions.
It will only fill your head with images that you will never be able to entirely get rid of. It will cause more confusion and not less. It will interfere with your spiritual growth and could very easily lead you into further serious sin.
In this I speak from sad sad personal experience.

You need to get your priorities in order and this will help you to sort things out.

  1. God made you. Your first attraction needs to be to Him. This is the first and greatest commandment - that We Love God above all else.

  2. God made you the gender that you are. Therefore, for the purposes of marriage and sexual intimacy, your attractions need to be to the complimentary gender.

  3. We can enjoy hanging out with (be attracted to) those of our own gender for many reasons - but not for sexual ones.

Pornography cannot - I repeat - cannot help you in any of this.

Peace
James

You already know the answer to this question. I notice you posted another thread where you say you suffer from porn addiction. Don’t give yourself an excuse to stay in your addiction.

There is no legitimate use for porn. Period. It is sinful.
If you have questions regarding your own sexual orientation, I would suggest counseling from a truly Catholic psychotherapist.

I know you meant this well, but to a person with same-sex attraction, this advice just sounds cruel. Your attractions “need to be” to women. Need to be? Well, suppose they’re not! Does that make me automatically unholy or evil?

God can do what He wants with our attractions. There is no blameworthiness to not being attracted to the opposite sex.

Yes - I wondered about my expressing it the way I did. Thanks for chiming in on it. :thumbsup:

Often when we speak of faith and of love and of forgiveness, we speak of these things being “choices” rather than “feelings”. I may be inclined not to believe, but I choose to do so. I may be inclined not to forgive - but I am called to do so - to choose forgiveness in spite of my feelings or inclinations on the matter.
This was the thinking behind my statement…

But you are quite right. If one is not attracted to the opposite sex, it would appear they are called to a chaste single life. Nothing wrong in that.

Peace
James

Makes sense. :thumbsup:

Don’t buy into our culture that says sex is everything we have to live for in this life. It’s not. Our time on earth is so short. I will pray for you. Please buy a copy of West’s book “The Good News About Sex and Marriage.” You can get it for about 4 dollars on Amazon, used. West struggled with Same Sex Attraction. Also, check out couragerc.net. They are good folks and can help you with understanding sexuality.

Yes.

I think we all at times try to make excuses that make sinful activity seem like it is OK. You know …we want a “loophole”. I suspect you knew the answer to the question before it was asked. Porn is sinful and there is never an excuse to use it. If it is a problem for you there are a lot of things to help you overcome it. Ask your priest, he can steer you in the right direction.

I don’t think you need porn to know. I’m bi. I realized when this gorgeous girl walked in to the SAT testing room. I didn’t really want to do her. I really wanted to take her to get ice cream and hold hands and maybe kiss. If your trouble is you seem to like both, you probably like both. If you like neither, your asexual. You may also only be sexually attracted to someone you are romantically attracted to. Sexual orientation is a spectrum and you won’t learn it here.

So congrats your not asexual! (not really congrats asexy is totally ok)

actually i think looking at porn could confuse you even more, besides why do you want to know? just live your life and continue, God’s willing , you’ll find out in due time. No need to rush.

You don’t need porn to know your sexual orientation because there is only one acceptable form of sexuality: heterosexuality within marriage. If you suffer same sex attraction, then you need to accept your cross and strive to live chastely. If you are suffering from same sex attraction, you could also seek help from Courage International:

couragerc.net

The Church has compassion on those who live with same sex attraction. Seek help and guidance within the Church. Stay away from pornography. You don’t need it. Pray and seek God with a pure heart.

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