Immature Spirituality?

I ask MANY questions if you follow my posting. I LOVE THIS WEBSITE. My main thing is spiritual immaturity. When it comes down it to, if I knew how to avoid certain consequences , I did not care what others thought of me, and if I had money, I would be living a very sinful lifestyle. I DO NOT WANT TO HARM OTHERS. If I would not embarrass my family (especially my father) and if I would not regret if when I was older, I would totally star pornography with no questions asked. I am scared of others judging me. I know how emotionally fragile I am, I could not handle that lifestyle for long.
Most of the time, when I confess my sins it is because I feel guilty if someone would have treated me the same way or I think if today was my last day and I was hit by a car, I know I would go to hell for this.
I am envious when I see others living their lives sinfully in ways I would love to,but I cannot because I am scared of consequences (hell, judgment by others, disapproval of my family).
People say God gives you free-will, but honestly I cannot happily make a choice that I suspect God disapproves of.

Do any others feel similarly?

This relates to me other post. There are many sins I would happily indulge if I had more confidence in myself, more intelligence and was not scared of the consequences. I wonder if the only reason I repent is because I am scared of punishment or the only reason I quit my sins because I have faced a negative consequence.

If I’m I following correctly you want to know if others would happily sin if there were no consequences or repercussions? Or are you asking if that feeling is spiritually immature?

If it’s the first question then my answer is “No”. Even when I was a practical atheist I never desired to be a porno star or lead an immoral lifestyle. I always looked at people that did with sorrow. It always seemed their happiness hid some underlying brokenness. Maybe they were truly happy, but if so it never made sense to me why it would make them happy. Likely it’s because I don’t revel in the material world and have always been inward focused.

If it’s a question of the spiritual immaturity, then I’d tend to say yes. We shouldn’t avoid sin for fear of punishment or how others might perceive us. We should avoid sin because of love of ourselves and love of God. When my children were little they would hide or try to lie when they did something wrong. As they got older they found that accepting the consequences for poor choices was the better option. Eventually they learned to make better choices.

My concern with your statements would be that you appear to simply fear punishment or negative consequences. There seems to be no acknowledgement of how harmful the acts you mention are. It reminds me of a young child that plays with matches in a dry field of grass and doesn’t realize or care that their actions can lead to destruction or death; let’s just look at the pretty flames. It seems like the moral compass spins willy-nilly without any sense of true north.

My apologies if I misread your post or if it comes off as harsh.

Fear of God is the beginning of wisdom…but only the beginning.


None of us can happily make those choices, and it’s a sign of maturity to recognize that. You’re saying, “It looks like fun, but it would cost [my reputation, my family’s reputation, my self respect, my emotional stability, Heaven], so I’m not going to.” That sounds an awful lot like maturity to me, or at least a great first step down that path.

It sounds like you’re still struggling with some temptation, and I think we can all relate. How about offering up your temptation and envy for those who are already stuck in the lifestyle you’re talking about, and perhaps working on a project against human trafficking? (Porn “stars” are often there against their will.) I don’t know if porn is actually what’s tempting you or if you were just using that as an example, but you might also consider moving away from whatever is influencing you toward that kind of life.

Let me also add that it’s OK to be immature. We all start out that way. Realizing your immaturity is the first step toward growing :wink:

You need to confess this!
The decision that you would sin, and would LOVE to sin mortally, = is mortal sin.
I’ve read up on this. Its sining in your thoughts. St Theresa of Avila wrote that sinners who would LOVE to sin mortal sins, are committing mortal sin just by those thoughts! I’ve read: deliberately drooling over how to commit mortal sins, is a mortal sin.

You need to despise sin for its ugliness and all its temporal and eternal consequences, because it crucifies Jesus all over again and separates you from God!

Jesus said; “A person who does good simply for eternal reward, is just a mercenary working for wages.”

We’re God’s children, we do it out of love

I would love to be able to have sex with as many people as I found attractive, but I cannot do it. Doing poor would wound my father, my family’s reputation. I know emotionally I could not handle it. It would destroy me. I wish I had the courage to indulge in all the sensual sins as I wanted, but it feel too scared that God may strike me with lightning or I will get in a car accident and die tragically that day. I think in the future, I would not want footage myself performing sexual acts still online. If I were someone else, I would do it.

We need to do good and.avoid sin for love of God,
For fear of Hell, and loss of Heaven.

Those thoughts are mortal sin!
Wishing you could sin and drooling over mortal sin is a mortal sin!
Sin is about thoughts too, mortal sin can be in your thoughts.

You need to confess and cannot receive communion in the meantime.

You are having temptations against purity which is not unusual for being young. A temptation is a nudge to do something that is wrong. Everyone has temptations of one kind or another. It is what you do with them or how you handle them which helps you to become more virtuous or evil.

When you have them pray to Mary and ask her to help you be pure as she was pure as the Virgin Mother. Grace is important to fight temptations. It is the power of God at your disposal to strengthen you against desiring what is wrong. Without grace a person will never succeed in turning away from evil.

Get in the habit of saying a prayer to Mary, for she is your mother and your model of virtue.
When temptations occur, try to picture Mary in your mind.

May God bless and keep you. May God’s face shine on you. May God be kind to you and give you peace.

Temptation is not a sin.

But deliberately having long fantasies of impure thoughts, deliberately drooling over those sins and Desiring to commit those sins if you could, IS a MORTAL sin.

If your tempted and say no to the thought, its not a sin.

Impure thoughts are MORTAL sin, if you revel in them, drool over them, have long deliberate daydreams about them, consider actually committing them and do nothing to say no to these thoughts.

Desiring to kill someone maliciously breaks the commandment.
Desiring to break the 6th commandment without any regard for your eternal salvation IS a Mortal Sin.

I was at a healing service once.Where the speaker prompting people for confession, said “Maybe you committed the mortal sin of… OR maybe you thought about it.”

You dont have to confess temptations, but you have to confess deliberate sinful thoughts

Are you being tempted and saying no?


ARE you sinning in your thoughts?

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