Immodest Swimwear?

Hi. I’m still fairly new here, so if this isn’t the right place to post this, could someone redirect me (I saw a person talk on a similar subject here)?

Hi, I’m Anthony.

So basically, I’m here to ask you all if you think wearing swimming-shorts for swimming is appropriate. I know that’s what every male uses, but think about it. My entire chest would be exposed, and as far as I can tell, that could be a temptation for girls. Not trying to brag here, or tempt here, but perhaps some girls could be tempted.

So there’s that.

But the main thing here is this: my family is going to buy a small pool for our yard. We’ve done if for a few years, and then stopped. Obviously, when I was about 8 years old, I was too small to tempt anyone. But now, I’m 15 and in fairly good shape. We live with lots of neighbors. Our yard is fairly hidden, but what really worries me, is that one house across the street can easily see into our yard (we can see into theirs), and I’m about 99% sure, that a young girl in that house (about my age) has a crush on me.

I have no reason to believe the girl next door is Catholic, so it wouldn’t be a Catholic to Catholic temptation, but she’s still a human being, who CAN commit Sin (just like a non Catholic could look at porn of a non Catholic).

So what do you think I should do? Should I forget swimming? Kind of hard, because how do I tell my family? They’ll think I’m silly and ignore me. Plus it’s kind of embarrassing (that’s why I’m doing it anonymously here on the interwebs). I could swim with a shirt on, but how do I let my parents let me? Please help.

God Bless you all! :slight_smile:

For guys, as far as I can tell, swimming without a shirt on has been the norm for… what? A century at least? In fact, if you go further back, you’d be swimming in the nude, at least if it was in a river, lake or beach. Recall that St. Paul put on his clothes to meet Jesus, which tells us that he probably wasn’t wearing any

I think it’s noble that you don’t want to cause sin, and I don’t necessarily think you’re bragging (though certainly someone could take it that way, but what’s the point of bragging anonymously on the web about your figure?), but what you’re doing isn’t anything immodest in itself and you can’t be constantly worrying that you might be causing someone to sin when you are not doing anything immodest… In fact, the girl down the street might find you attractive and be tempted to sin even when you’re wearing a full set of clothes…

In fact, girls don’t become as easily aroused by the visual as men tend to. So, as long as you don’t fall into the sin of pride yourself, or start wearing or doing something truly objectively immodest, I wouldn’t worry about it.

The human body was made by God, there’s nothing wrong about it. If you wear swim shorts, you are perfectly respectable and properly-dressed for swimming. Wearing a shirt in the water would make you stand out more than being bare-chested, IMO.

Happy swimming! Our English summer doesn’t often give us those opportunities, it’s been less than 60 degrees here this week. :slight_smile:

Rash guards have become more popular for men and women for sun protection. There is a cultural norm of being shirtless, but I don’t think you’d stick out if you wore one if those, either. My husband wears one and so do my sons.

So do what makes you comfortable, and wear sunscreen! :cool:

Yes. Especially in the privacy of your own backyard. Relax and enjoy.

Definitely do not skip the sunscreen!

If you feel that way, wear a cool rash guard. Rash guards are becoming popular. My son wears one and I try to make my daughter wear one. But for some reason my wife if all for my son wearing one but thinks it silly to make our 5 year old daughter wear one :shrug:

Rule of thumb: rash guard (aka swimming shirt) cool; regular t-shirt when swimming not cool

I wore white t-shirts as a little boy because I burn so easily, and still wear them now. Doesn’t look odd at all, and protects my skin. My son has a rash guard, but I have no desire to spend money on one when a white t shirt that is more comfortable works. I would not wear random tshirts in the pool, as that just makes you look lazy. But I specifically wear white to avoid the rays as much as possible.

Here are the rules of dealing with younger kids who have crushes on you:

  1. Do not acknowledge the crush or act like you’re aware of it. Acknowledgement will only feed the crush. Just pretend you’re oblivious of her crush, and maintain ordinary good manners. This will help her keep her standards high when it comes to her real boyfriends and future husband.

  2. Never be alone with her, if you can help it. You obviously don’t want her to confess her love, so don’t provide her with any convenient opportunities.

  3. Always be prepared to turn her down, in a definite and firm way. I’m not saying that you should be mean; I’m saying that you shouldn’t leave her any room for false hopes. Practice saying it, if you think you might mess it up.

One more thing:

If you’re worried about people from the other house looking into your yard, why not discuss it with your parents? A lot of people put up privacy screens for safety. But if you think they won’t go for that, just talk about making the yard look nicer, or about adding shade or getting a breeze. But honestly, if you’ve noticed that the other house can look into your backyard, your mom and dad have probably also noticed and would like a way to keep people minding their own business.

One idea is to put up a tall trellis or arbor/pergola with some plants or decorations hanging from or growing on it, so that the view is blocked or distracted (especially when the wind is blowing). There are also tall “lattice panels” that you can buy for the same purpose, and they are light and aren’t very expensive. You could ask your parents about doing a project like that, and if you found garden stuff on sale and then built it, it would probably not cost much or take much time to put up.

It’s a little late for Father’s Day, but maybe you could put it up as a party decoration for the 4th of July, and then just keep part of it up forever. :slight_smile:

Regular swim trunks for men are not immodest, esp. in your own backyard. However, if you want a T-shirt, a rash guard, as suggested by others is safer than a regular T-shirt, because swimwear should fit rather close to the body to prevent it stretching and getting caught on something (not too likely in a backyard pool, though accidents do h happen).

Have fun in your pool and don’t worry about your swimsuit!

No one in my family owns a swim suit. We all swim in shorts and t shirts or shorts and shirtless. We haven’t been to a pool in years but go often to the lake and the majority of people there also are in shorts and t shirts or just shorts. When we visit family (and when we lived close to the ocean ourselves) we wore the exact some thing to the beach. Many others did the same thing, and when we were in Mexico nearly everyone did. The only people I saw in swim suits were foreign visitors.

Truthfully I’m not opposed to swim suits. They are just too expensive to buy for 10 people when they can’t be worn for much besides swimming. They wear out quickly and can’t really be handed down so it’s an expense I’m not willing to deal with. If you would feel more comfortable while wearing a shirt and your parents ask you why, you can truthfully tell them that you prefer not to get sunburn. I can’t imagine parents being opposed to adding a shirt but if they want you to go shirtless for safety reasons, I would follow their lead. There is absolutely nothing wrong with swim suits and it is not immodest to dress appropriately for whatever activity you are participating in. If we had a pool or went to a public pool on a regular basis we would be wearing swim suits. I’m just not willing to pay for something that would only get used once every couple of years by my family.

I found a really pretty picture of someone with a really wide lattice panel and trellises and some other stuff. You don’t have to go this far, but it looks pretty and cooling!

Here it is, at

Very pretty, but what does that have to do with swimsuits??? I suspect you posted to the wrong post. :slight_smile:

Tempting young women with my manly chest has been the bane of my life. I have had women lose control of their cars when they pass by. It is a burden I live with, but have taken precautions. In Australia our entire male population is full of bronzed Anzacs normally 6 foot three, tanned and really good looking. So I blend in a bit, however we also have a very hot sun. This has allowed me the good excuse to wear a tee shirt to supposedly protect me against skin cancer. However, many see through this flimsy facade and often wait for me to change into a dry shirt in the car.
White sheeting surrounding your pool might work. Trellises are good but take a time to grow the foliage.
I find if I let the little kids cover me in sand this works also. It is so hard to distract some women. I think it is hormonal.
I found the best solution was to marry. My wife is like a terrier and has often used the garden hose when at home.
I can only suggest you offer up your good looks, as I have, as a penance, hoping not to be the cause of too many souls lost to lust.
In Australia we have an Adonis Anonymous Group in nearly every city to assist in this scourge of good looking men. Our immigration policy is being reconsidered by authorities with the aim to encourage only married women to immigrate.

You can go back to what men wore in the early 1900’s. One piece bathing suits from neck to knees. :stuck_out_tongue:

BTW, don’t flatter yourself that you are the hottest kid in the neighborhood. When the girl next door goes to the beach, she may not give you a second look! :ouch:

There is nothing immodest about being shirtless for men or boys.

Just don’t wear a speedo stretch men’s bathingsuit. Not that these cause lust, they cause nausea in women when we see them.:stuck_out_tongue:


One thing that bugs me about the girl ones is that they’re still intended to be worn over a swim top. It’s an extra piece and it can feel a little bit like just needing to buy one more thing.

The ones for adult women are frequently ugly or super expensive. I got my husband’s at Wally World for under $10 and my boys’ at Old Navy on clearance, but even Aldi had some a couple weeks ago for $5 each.

(I just wear a regular swim top and a cover-up out of the water, and reapply sunscreen constantly.)

By daugher has a “two piece” rash guard set. Brief bottom, long sleeve rash guard top. But she doesn’t like it because it’s long sleeve.

In regards to the adult women’s versions… I honestly think there is a “conspiracy” going on with the pricing of women’s bathing suites. They are RIDICULOUSLY high for what they are (underwear too for that matter). Plus, the fashion industry has this idea that beautiful mean sexy.

With that said, I know one woman who wears a rash guard shirt that looks cool, it looks like a surfing shirt. I’ve seen her wear it twice at her son’s birthday pool parties.

Good idea.


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