Immoral and the p-boy mansion?


Can I say NO based on moral ground?

My husband has been invited to a professional poker game to be held at the playboy mansion. I consider the place immoral. He said it is only a poker game and there will be nothing immoral, aka, inappropriate dressing taking place. However, if there is any “inappropriate dressing” happening he will leave. I have said no b/c the mansion produces immoral things. He said, I just don’t trust him.

I was “shocked” he would ask to go and I am confused why I feel bad saying, no.

Any prayers or comments are so appreciated.

God Bless.


Your husband should NOT go. It doesn’t matter if it’s a table cloth convention at the playboy mansion, he should not go. He shouldn’t go to a place that supports the abuse of women and the rampant spreading of satan’s game of degrading sexuality.
My I asked my husband and he said there is nothing that could get him to go there. I’ll say a prayer for him to suddenly feel violently opposed to going.


Um… yeah. What she said.

And sure, you can say “no” and have every right to do so. But if he’s already pulling the “but you don’t truuuuust meeee” stuff, I wouldn’t bet on him caring. :frowning:

In case you were wondering: yes, that is a totally manipulative statement and one that very few* trustworthy *people ever utter. Be good and kind, but don’t let anybody bully you or shut you down by saying, “You don’t trust me!” That’s not a valid counterargument. People worthy of your trust don’t voluntarily go hang out at the Playboy Mansion, for any reason.


I agree with the PP’s…a definite NO, the pbmansion is a place built around the degredation of women (and by proxy, men), disrespect for human dignity…add to that that it traffics in lust as do all things associated with it. It’s not a matter of trust, it’s a matter of respect - Him respecting you enough to understand why you are offended, Him respecting women enough to refuse to be associated with a place such as this, and him respecting himself enough to realize that he is called for higher things. I’ll be praying for you!


Just by the mere idea that he’d question your motives as to why you don’t want him going there leads me to believe he’s not interested in what you think or feel on the situation, and that is what I’d get at instead of his sophmoric rant of “you don’t trust me.” You’re his wife, not his mother and your feelings should be respected before his desire to go gamble.

You feel confused for feeling bad because a husband shouldn’t make his wife feel confused over her expression of disgust at something and then him turning around with the comment he made. I’m sorry he’s not thinking straight and I’ll say a prayer for him. Don’t back down!!!


As a husband (not hers) I completely agree, there is nothing that could get me into that filth.

My opinion is that we are to avoid the near occasion of sin…if the pboymansion is not a near occasion of sin, I am not sure what is? :shrug:


:thumbsup: Much more eloquently stated than my post, but this is what I would have liked to convey.


The Playboy Mansion? Ew!!! However, your husband may consider it to be an honour to be invited. So, after you’ve put your foot down and he’s agreed to stay home how about doing something that he enjoys on that night? That way he won’t be at home fuming that he’s not out enjoying himself.



No Naked Women! What’s the point of having it at the Mansion?:newidea: :newidea:


Well put tamccrackine and everyone else. This is exactly how I feel. The worst part is he knows deep inside he should not go. However, male co-workers are saying he would regret this “once in a lifetime” opportunity. I spent the night praying and hoping today he will see the evil and harm in going.

God Bless and keep us in your prayers.


Thanks Chickie for your post. I was thinking the same thing about that night.

God Bless.


“Just a poker game” at the p-boy mansion? :nope:

Can you say NO on moral grounds? :yup:

I would be shocked and very very upset if my husband asked such a thing too. I’m wondering if the comment about you not trusting him might have been said out of anger and disappointment; secretly knowing that you are in the right? Perhaps when he calms down he will see how foolish and childish he is being and will apologise? Hope so!

Take care tx, don’t feel even a tiny bit bad saying no, you are in the right! God bless.


I agree, and his thinking that there will only be poker is so naive.


Ask how he would feel if you went to a male strip club only for the food before the strippers went on?

His pride has intruded in on his better senses. Put your foot down on this one, as when married, when one half of the union sins the sin falls upon the other half as well.

My rule of thumb? When I receive the Holy Eucharist, I am carrying Jesus with me wherever I go. I ask myself, where would I take Jesus if He was with me in person? Not to the playboy mansion, for certain.:thumbsup:


How did he end up getting invited there in the first place? I can understand that maybe he wants to go just for the thrill of being at a famous “landmark” and not interested in the women. We can’t judge his heart or motives. But he shouldn’t go regardless. I hope God opens his eyes to see why it is not a good idea to support such a place.


Perhaps mention to him that this would be an excellent opportunity to witness to his male co-workers…tell him to lead the pack not follow it :slight_smile:


Of course he shouldn’t go. The Playboy enterprise is itself an immoral enterprise and any association with it is immoral.

You only need to catch the briefest glimpse of the awful show “The Girls Next Door” on E! channel to know that immorality is 24/7 in that place.

Honestly, he is showing some very poor judgment. Do you have children? Not a very good role model to be going to professional poker games, in the playboy mansion no less.

Why would he even WANT to go there for ANY reason?


It could be for the simple reason of curiosity or getting to go see this (in)famous place, whether or not there would be naked women walking around. I can see how someone not too developed in their faith could innocently want to go just for the novelty of it. It’s famous, and he probably feels honored to be invited.


Sounds like your husband loves poker more than he loves his own purity.

He’s a gamblin’ man, but he’s taking a gamble on his immortal soul. A very stupid bet.

As far as not trusting him - tell him flat out - no you don’t trust him. He’s not exhibiting trustworthy behavior.

Ask him if he’s trusting your judgement. You say NO, doesn’t he trust you? Your job is to help him get into heaven. A husband and a wife are suppose to “cover” for each other’s weakspots.

Your husband has a weak spot for poker. And, if he is a healthy viral male, he has a weak spot for visual sexual stimulation. You, his wife are using your own better judgement, which is probably clearer than his, to save his sorry butt.

This kind of argument just might do the trick, but it can be applied against you at a later date, for example if he cuts up the credit cards. :smiley:


Again, thank you for all your prayers and comments.

To answer some of the questions. Yes, we do have children who thank God are unaware of the situation. To clarify, my husband is not a poker player. He occasionally watches on TV. The main reason for going is to say, I have been to the mansion.

As for the actual invite this is a whole other issue. On a flight he sat next to a single woman whose brother is playing in the tournament. After chatting and even meeting the brothers wife he was invited. I do have a problem with this and we have argued about this too. His claim is he is not attracted and he would be going with the whole family. I believe married men/women should not go anywhere with the opposite sex without their spouse meeting them. Especially not strangers. He claims he is not attracted which I do believe but the whole principal is the problem.

To get back to the point. We have spoken and he is not going to go. However, this is a BIG however, he has made is clear I am wrong. First, b/c I don’t trust him. Second, I don’t understand what it means to sin. He said doing an immoral act is sinning. Going to a place where immoral acts occur is not a sin for him nor wrong b/c he is not planning to do anything. Third, I am an unloving wife, b/c he said if I wanted to do something even if it meant going to an abortion clinic for a craft show he would be ok with that.

Besides all that, he tried to accuse me of being a hypocrite b/c I have been to vegas back in college. I didn’t attend vulgar shows but the fact that I went to a place of “sin” makes me a hypocrite.

I am sorry for this long reply. I really am confused and a little depressed. I feel I don’t have the convincing material for my husband to understand I am being a loving wife.

God Bless.

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit