Impaired Thinking / Sleeping / Lustful Thoughts

It was a rare occasion that I had some drinks as I had gotten together with some friends who I hardly ever see. A few memories of the night have me kind of wondering, however…

I remember one of my friends had expressed strong aversion to God in a conversation. I believe I remained quiet and didn’t say anything, neither confirming or discouraging his way of thinking.

Another friend brought up his past with girls he’s been with, I took myself out of that conversation completely again and neither discouraged or encouraged him about it.

Now, at least I don’t think I did which is what is sort of bothering me. I am a very lightweight drinker and I had 3 drinks, I don’t believe I blacked out at all, but we were in a dark room and it feels as if the lighting contributed to me sort of having a dreamlike experience. I am worried if I had made some face or perhaps a giggle during their conversation which they may have perceived as approval for some reason, but again I don’t believe I did but I’m not entirely sure either, and I always feel that I need to be “sure” of such details for me to feel at ease.

Thirdly, I got back home and I went to sleep. I have some vivid recollection of the middle of the night of perhaps a dream/dreams that were of mild sexual nature. I’m not sure if I had waken up in the middle of them though and persisted in liking the topic. I am just not sure if I was dreaming or awake or even still a bit intoxicated.


Now the obvious thing I’m aware of is I shouldn’t have had more than a small drink, which was my first mistake since it impaired my thinking to a degree. If I had not drank I would have been very aware of what was said or expressed and I would not have accidentally started to fantasize mildly on my way to sleep or in the middle of the night, perhaps. I guess now I’m just trying to figure out if this all falls under Venial Sin or Mortal Sin.

If you’re worried about being able to differentiate between mortal and venial sin, your best bet would be to talk to your priest for him to be able to discern the severity.

Of course that would always be the obvious answer, however, I was trying to figure out if I could receive the Eucharist before attending mass this evening.

Anyway, I just got back from mass and refrained from receiving the Eucharist just to be sure.

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