It was a rare occasion that I had some drinks as I had gotten together with some friends who I hardly ever see. A few memories of the night have me kind of wondering, however…
I remember one of my friends had expressed strong aversion to God in a conversation. I believe I remained quiet and didn’t say anything, neither confirming or discouraging his way of thinking.
Another friend brought up his past with girls he’s been with, I took myself out of that conversation completely again and neither discouraged or encouraged him about it.
Now, at least I don’t think I did which is what is sort of bothering me. I am a very lightweight drinker and I had 3 drinks, I don’t believe I blacked out at all, but we were in a dark room and it feels as if the lighting contributed to me sort of having a dreamlike experience. I am worried if I had made some face or perhaps a giggle during their conversation which they may have perceived as approval for some reason, but again I don’t believe I did but I’m not entirely sure either, and I always feel that I need to be “sure” of such details for me to feel at ease.
Thirdly, I got back home and I went to sleep. I have some vivid recollection of the middle of the night of perhaps a dream/dreams that were of mild sexual nature. I’m not sure if I had waken up in the middle of them though and persisted in liking the topic. I am just not sure if I was dreaming or awake or even still a bit intoxicated.
Now the obvious thing I’m aware of is I shouldn’t have had more than a small drink, which was my first mistake since it impaired my thinking to a degree. If I had not drank I would have been very aware of what was said or expressed and I would not have accidentally started to fantasize mildly on my way to sleep or in the middle of the night, perhaps. I guess now I’m just trying to figure out if this all falls under Venial Sin or Mortal Sin.