Implications for the wife


#1

I know that a married permanent deacon (in the RCC) and a married priest (in the ECCs and OCC’s) need their wife’s consent before they can be accepted to be ordained. What I was wondering though is what are the implications for the wife? Does she become a sort of spiritual mother, in a sense, due to the fact that her husband is now an ordained member of the Church?


#2

The wife of a deacon (and probably the wife of a priest) have no obligations to ministry other than any that they would choose to do. Often the wife will be partners with their husband is some ministries but it is not necessary. Sometimes they have their own particular ministries that they do, or if they have little kids they might not have time for any ministry.


#3

As an aside: married people in my Oblate community are required to get spousal consent before undertaking oblation.


#4

I Timothy 3:11 lists the qualifications for a deacon’s wife. While I don’t know the Church’s position on the role of a deacon’s wife, that passage would indicate that she at least has a responsibility to be a good example to the church, and perhaps also is responsible to assist him in ministering to the needs of the parish.


#5

[quote="EnglishTeacher, post:4, topic:214328"]
I Timothy 3:11 lists the qualifications for a deacon's wife. While I don't know the Church's position on the role of a deacon's wife, that passage would indicate that she at least has a responsibility to be a good example to the church, and perhaps also is responsible to assist him in ministering to the needs of the parish.

[/quote]

The husband is ordained, not the wife. The CHurch puts no obligations on her other than giving approval for her husband's ordination. I even know deacon's wives who are not Catholic.


#6

That’s not what I meant. I mean, in practical terms, how is her life affected by her husband’s position within the clergy? Is she under more scrutiny than previously?


#7

Not necessarily.

But in practical terms the gentleman acting as a Deacon will be more visible and active; and therefore if he includes his wife in many activities then she will too. She isn’t under “scrutiny” so to speak; but being practical; many nosy people will have an increased interest.

Her life is affected by her Husband spending more time doing ministry at the Church. It is usually the case that the Deacon would be fulfilling the roles of acolyte and a lector before he is ordained; but he will doubtless take on many further duties; being able to preside over weddings, funerals, baptisms; and often being more involved in pastoral duties.


#8

To be realistic we must say that this is a very subjective question and can only be answered by each and every person out there.

Some people are going to judge clergy and their spouses on a different level than other people.

This is just a fact of life I have learned as a consecrated religious.


#9

I love to dance and my husband doesn’t. I remember going to a parish dance once and I danced all night. A few days later a parishioner approached me and suggested that a deacon’s wife should not be dancing all night. I wasn’t dancing with other men but with other women who were there alone or whose husbands also didn’t dance. I also was not dancing suggestively. I was annoyed with the woman’s remark but I kept my composure and acted “as a deacon’s wife” and thanked her for her concern.


closed #10

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