Important question concerning my family


#1

You might remember, but I was the one who posted “My family…help!” and it concerned some things in my family which had gone arry. Here is what I said, or perhaps should have said.

Uncleanliness concerning pee
Bad movies
Not washing hands after touching raw meat
Sleeping in underwear(this bothers me, I don’t know if it is wrong or not, I’m just telling you)

Now, my family hasn’t listened to me try to tell them about what’s been upseting me. My Mom might have hurt me had I stayed in the room long enough after our discussion. I was only trying to be kind but she was still angry with me. Now, I did say she “needed help” but it was kind of an accident. It was this that finally set her off. I talked to her later about it and she regretted what she had said(she said if I left my room I could just leave home), but it still worries me that she might almost(or actually) hurt me again. My Dad has been yelling or at least upset at me most of the time and rarely listens to me. I’ve been trying to fix things but nothing seems to really work. Now, I’m considering leaving home, not forever, but at least for a few days. I also want to talk to a friend that’s a doctor and have him explain why some of these things are unsanitary, or just wrong. But I would like your opinion. Are these things enough to be really worried about? What do you think I should do?

I am also very unhappy at home for various reasons. It just doesn’t seem like my family really and truely loves me. I haven’t had much support in my illness and right now I’m having a hard time even loving those in my family. I just don’t know how to fix these things. Do you guys have any advice?


#2

twohearts-

Sleeping in your underwear is ok and there is nothing wrong with it…our whole family (well excpet for the baby) does it…but before we leave our rooms we do put on robes or some other clothing.

Why is your family so hostile towards what you are saying? is it becuase your rude or disrespectful in your presentation?


#3

Rudeness has happened before in the past but not much now. Sometimes things just happen though, like yelling sometimes or just something said wrong. I don’t think it is an excuse to be hit.

I would like everyone to know that I am as kind as possible to my family. Just to get that question answered. :slight_smile:

Can’t sleeping in one’s underwear get something on the bed though?


#4

I never mean to imply that you where not respectful…just wondering WHY they would react this way?

like what?
I sleep in my undies and so does my husband and teenage son…I do the laundry and there is nothing on the sheets…well other than drool on the pillowcase because my DS drools in his sleep:) .


#5

Your concerns are real!
But i want ask: Do you suffer from any mental illness?
I’m sorry to ask but i have experienced past relationships that lead me to think… Having a hard time loving your family is a hard thing… my opinion is that you have a choice… take the high road and love everyone, despite the obstacles to loving them. I pray for you that you have the grace of patience to deal with your situation.


#6

Sorry if my reply sounded defensive. I was trying not to be…

And I don’t know why they reacted the way they did. That’s just the way they act I guess. :frowning:


#7

Lion–

Why do you ask if I have a mental illness?

I try to love my family, but you probably know how hard it can be sometimes. Well, it is like that with me most of the time. I don’t have a problem loving people, just these people. sigh


#8

why? is it **just **becuase of their unhygenic practices?


#9

Karin–

No, that is not the only reason. But it is one of the main reasons on which we disagree and it really adds ALOT of unecessary tension to the family.


#10

oh my…twohearts…if your over 18 can you just leave the house?


#11

Karin–

Nope. Not over 18. I was thinking of perhaps staying with a friend or at the very least talking to them about it.


#12

I only asked b/c i went through a very similar situation… the woman (my girlfriend at the time) was bi-polar … no offense meant!!!

I’m sorry if I offended you… definitely not my intention!!!

How can i help?!


#13

could you perhaps get a school counselor involved?
it would seem that outside of their unhygenic practices you guys have other issues going on that need to be addressed also.


#14

ummm…Lion…
it is twohearts that is having the issues not me:)


#15

I’m getting very confused.

Karin–

Nope, I’m homeschooled. No school counselor.

As to counselors, I had one but they adressed my issues and not my issues with my family.

I don’t know how this is going to sound…but I have a theory as to why I am so upset. Perhaps it is the fact that I know my family is probably not religious. I LOVE Jesus, and I cannot see into their hearts. But I live with them. And what I have seen has left me almost certain of the cause of all their problems. I know, from what I have seen, that they most likely do not wish to be deep in Jesus’s Heart. It hurts Jesus, and His pain is my pain. I just wish I could handle it with love the way He does instead of my own frustration.

Besides that I have always had problems with my family. If it looked like they were trying to be good to God and to me it would be different. But sometimes it just doesn’t look that way at all.

I do not live in a family of love. This is the problem.


#16

But then again there are other problems, not just this one.


#17

twohearts,
I am sorry you are having problems with your family. If you aren’t 18 yet, leaving is NOT the answer. Don’t do that.

Whatever family you go to may have habits & practices that you don’t care for also. And besides, you can’t stay away forever so eventually you’ll have to go back to your home and work things out. Running away from your problems is never a solution.

If you don’t like the thought of sleeping in your underware, don’t do it. Why would it bother you if someone else did though? (so long as they aren’t in your bed?)

Also, I think it’s so WONDERFUL that you love Jesus so much. Pray to Him to help you cope with your family and be the best Christian witness you can be so maybe they will come to love Him as much as you do - although you are right, you really don’t know how much they love him because you can’t see into your heart.

I remember being unhappy with my life quite often when I was a teen. It gets so much better when you get older and you have more control over your life. Just hang on for awhile. Pray often and try to get along with your family.

God Bless you,
CM


#18

Do you want to talk about the other problems?


#19

Thank you, CarolMarie, I wish i could say I agreed with you about not leaving. But something has to be done, and if they won’t listen to my severe unhappiness, call me instead “crazy” then I don’t think there is much more I can do on my own.

I am pretty sure it is not depression. I think anyone living in my circumstances would be depressed. (ie, no esercise, little time out, depressing home condition).


#20

I am so sorry. It does sound like you are in a difficult situation. I just don’t think leaving is the answer.

Are you not allowed to leave the house? I ask because you said you can’t excercise? Are you allowed to go for walks? And if not, what is the reason your parents give for wanting to keep you inside?

I will pray for you.


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