Important question concerning my family


Perhaps you can get this counselor to come back so you can discuss you issues with your family…


Hello twohearts,

Are any of the things that your family members are doing putting your own personal health in danger? If not, have you considered that you might want to just ignore their practices and move out as soon as you are 18? I know that your family members are grossing you out…but, if you went too far in trying to change their behavior, they could turn against you and make your life even worse than it is right now. Worry about yourself first. Don’t do anything that would put yourself at risk.


With all due respect, I ask the same question. Not as a judgment or condemnation, but because your concerns (while very valid) sound like an obsessive compulsive disorder type of reaction. I’m no doctor, but how and what you are reacting to just seems like there is some pattern here that you may wish to discuss with a professional.

Keep in mind that to say that someone has a mental illness does not mean that they are crazy or are less of a person. It means that they have a medical condition, just like heart disease, migraine headaches, or measles for that matter, that needs to be addressed with professional medical help. That’s all. It’s not a slight against you.



:eek: If being concerned that people touch raw meat and don’t wash their hands means being labelled obsessive compulsive then Iabel me one too! Or worrying that little ones are allowed to sit in urine covered car seats; being disgusted that family members don’t wash their hands after going to the bathroom; or being forced to live in generally unsanitary conditions means that one is “obsessive compulsive” then I definately have O.C.D. too!!!

twohearts, how are you? I just had to post to tell you that you DO NOT HAVE OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER simply because you wish your family would follow BASIC hygiene practices. Sheesh! As if you don’t have enough on your plate!!! :rolleyes:

I think your idea about speaking to your friend who is a doctor is excellent. You need some outside support. Not just about the hygiene stuff but about your relationship with your parents, the arguments and yelling, the severe restrictions placed upon you, the lack of exercise etc etc.

Please share all of these worries with this doctor or someone else older whom you trust.

You mention that you are worried that your Mum might “hurt you again” and earlier something about “getting hit”. Are you concerned for your safety? You need to speak to someone about this. The doctor, the counsellor you saw previously, your priest??? Do all you can to seek out the right person to support you in all this.

Are you able to go to Mass? I hope so! :slight_smile: God has blessed you with the wonderful gift of a deep faith and He knows the struggles you are having. I’m sure you are taking all your concerns to Him in prayer. Have you thought about asking for prayer on the prayer thread here on the forums?

Take care of yourself twohearts, I’m praying for you. :gopray2:


I really don’t know if I should talk to someone now or wait until tonight. I can, perhaps, get to talk to more than one person if I wait. I don’t know if I will otherwise.

I’m just concerned about my health and the health of my family. Also, a lot can happen in six hours.


Unusual…the most common reason people who home school choose to do so is because they hold strong moral and religious convictions that they feel are not respected/reflected in the public school system. What is the reason your family home schools if they are not religious?

You sound very isolated. Are you able to get involved with other activities–athletic, religious, civic, charitable, social–that would get you out of your home environment and mix with other people? Are you allowed by your family to practice your faith, attend services/mass? What about contact with extended family? Do you and your parents have friends with whom you socialize regularly?


The reason I don’t exercise is that I’m afraid to go out walking in the neighborhood. I guess, now that I think about it, I could watch exercise tapes…mental note

Certain people in my family socialize and others don’t. I myself am only involved with a few things. Why? Well, schoolwork for one. Another is, I really don’t know where to go.


Oh, and yes, and I am allowed to attend Mass and things like that.


do you live in an unsafe area? if not why are you afraid to walk around the area?


do you have friends at Church?


This is beginning to sound a little unhealthy. You, and perhaps your parents have created a situation where you seem very removed from normal teen life and activities and you’re sounding depressed. You still have not indicated why you are home-schooled if not for a religious reason.

I would encourage you to move out of your comfort zone and take on a few activities. School work can be demanding of your time, but I don’t know any H.S. student who does nothing other than study. I would try one athletic activity and one charitable. Find a youth group at your church and volunteer. Start getting some physical activity EVERY day. Walk, bike, swim…anything to get out. Not only will the exercise make you feel better but you will quickly get into better shape and that’s always a boost. Do you have a job? That might be another constructive way to get out and interact with people in a positive way.

Don’t sit back any longer and wallow in what’s wrong with your life/family. Get out change things for yourself so that you become a more interesting and engaged person. You may change the whole environment of your home by your example.



Are there any younger brothers/sisters at home?

At first I thought maybe you were just some kid trying to tell her parents how to run the house, but what you describe are truly unsanitary conditions. I have heard of cases in which extremely unsanitary situations have led to authorities stepping in.


Island Oak–

I’m not sure if I should answer your question because I don’t want to speak too unkindly about my family.


I don’t know if my neighborhood is safe…I mean, it isn’t really bad during the day. But at night there can be some pretty strange people.



Yes, I have two sisters. And they love it here(I think). That’s why it would be really hard for them if anything did have to happen.


Oh, and I have a few friends at church.


twohearts…do you get outside at all in the daytime other than Mass?
What is your normal routine for the week…your replies to questions really do not give to much info…so it is rather hard to offer advice…so perhaps if you can tell us what you normally do do during the week and your reasons for these things we could help you figure something out…


So go out with them…or are you not allowed?


It would seem that you have friends or that is what you are saying…so go out with them during the daytime since your not sure about your neighborhood at night time.

In regards to your family…you dont seem to know what is going on…who is happy who is not etc. DO any of you actually communicate with each other?

Why are you homeschooled if not for religious reasons?


I might be allowed to go with friends. But these are adult friends(I seem to get along with adults better) who possibly have things to do. But even if I could spend time with them, I never seem to be able to get my schoolwork done on time…so perhaps not.


I don’t talk with my family much. I can’t specify the exact reason. Perhaps because we are so different.

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