Important questions that need answering

Ok, I recently posted a forum asking about Oral sex, and it got horribly out of hand and into this huge debate about what the church teaches or not, and as I continued to ask my questions people ignored them but they are important to me and I would very much like answers if anyone has them.

Question #1 Is it considered to be a sin if (going along with what the Catholic Church teaches) if a husband and wife perform oral sex to eachother and are not able to follow through with intercourse because they are interrupted by something/someone or use it as foreplay for the oncoming night or next mornings intercourse, is that considered a sin?

Question #2 If you are engaged and are curious about the honey moon night and the different things that go along with it is it considered a sin to talk about physical/sexual things to one another describing different things if you are strictly intending on getting married and such. As an add on *Is it wrong for an engaged couple to perform oral sex if they are intending to engage in Intercourse as soon as they get married?

Just answer the questions please, and then if debate is necessary that is fine, as long as you have tried to answer the question.:slight_smile:

Ok, I recently posted a forum asking about Oral sex, and it got horribly out of hand and into this huge debate about what the church teaches or not, and as I continued to ask my questions people ignored them but they are important to me and I would very much like answers if anyone has them.

Question #1 Is it considered to be a sin if (going along with what the Catholic Church teaches) if a husband and wife perform oral sex to eachother and are not able to follow through with intercourse because they are interrupted by something/someone or use it as foreplay for the oncoming night or next mornings intercourse, is that considered a sin?

Question #2 If you are engaged and are curious about the honey moon night and the different things that go along with it is it considered a sin to talk about physical/sexual things to one another describing different things if you are strictly intending on getting married and such. As an add on *Is it wrong for an engaged couple to perform oral sex if they are intending to engage in Intercourse as soon as they get married?

Just answer the questions please, and then if debate is necessary that is fine, as long as you have tried to answer the question.
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Question #1 Is it considered to be a sin if (going along with what the Catholic Church teaches) if a husband and wife perform oral sex to eachother and are not able to follow through with intercourse because they are interrupted by something/someone or use it as foreplay for the oncoming night or next mornings intercourse, is that considered a sin?

Oral sex is ok as long as it is used as foreplay not with the sole goal of it ending in orgasm. Orgasm must, for the man at least, take place in the act of intercourse. If the oral sex was taking place as a prelude to intercourse to follow and was interrupted I dont see how that is a sin since the intention was to complete the sex act in intercourse and something else prevented the completion.

Question #2 If you are engaged and are curious about the honey moon night and the different things that go along with it is it considered a sin to talk about physical/sexual things to one another describing different things if you are strictly intending on getting married and such. As an add on *Is it wrong for an engaged couple to perform oral sex if they are intending to engage in Intercourse as soon as they get married?

Id be very careful about what exactly you are describing in a honeymoon lead up discussion as it may lead to an occasion of sin for yourself or your finance. Is it wrong for an engaged couple to perform oral sex? YES. Oral sex must not be isolated from the act of intercourse and must not be used for the sole goal of an orgasm. Besides once you get going how are you so sure you can stop and not continue on to full sex? If you perform oral sex trying to avoid orgasm you may lead your fiance to an occasion of sin after you both have parted. Remember you are to avoid the occasion of sin and if your fiance is someone you love you should not want to lead them to sin either.

A better activity would be to pray the rosary together and to go to mass together :thumbsup:

Great answers from vee8

Just have to re-emphasize the warning against engaged couples engaiging in this act.

According to Bill Clinton, oral sex isn’t really sex. :rolleyes:

You should get the Christopher West Book- Good News About Sex and Marriage , Greg Popcak’s book - Holy Sex and take a look into any of John Paul 2’s works including Love and Responsibility as well as Theology of the Body. Christopher Wests explanations of Theology of the Body are helpful also.

Just a note on terminology here: If you intent it to end in orgasm, it is oral sex. If you do not intend it to end in orgasm, it is oral stimulation. The latter is acceptable (albeit walking a dangerous line), the former is grave matter.

The man is not to spill seed. The wife is not to spill the husbands seed. Any intent to spill seed is forbidden. Accidental spills are just that accidents.

It would seem you have good answers to questions, are you okay with these answers?

Yes, I am satisfied with these answers, thank you all. Another question: Would it be okay for an engaged couple to have foreplay if there is no skin to skin contact?

Well, you really asked more than two questions…

Just for clarity, let me point out that the church teaches that the male orgasm needs to happen within the woman every time. (Except “wet dreams.”)

Question #1 Is it considered to be a sin if (going along with what the Catholic Church teaches) if a husband and wife perform oral sex to eachother and are not able to follow through with intercourse because they are interrupted by something/someone…

As long as they don’t know about the interruption in advance, no.

or use it as foreplay for the oncoming night or next mornings intercourse, is that considered a sin?

It should only be used as foreplay to imminent intercourse - otherwise it’s a planned interruption. It is too arousing to use any other way.

*Question #2 If you are engaged and are curious about the honey moon night and the different things that go along with it is it considered a sin to talk about physical/sexual things to one another describing different things if you are strictly intending on getting married and such. *

As far as I know, it’s OK to discuss these things, as long as they don’t arouse you to the point of lust or temptation to masturbate or fornicate.

*As an add on Is it wrong for an engaged couple to perform oral sex if they are intending to engage in Intercourse as soon as they get married?

Yes. See “just for clarity” above. And again, you shouldn’t be doing things that may arouse you to the point of lust or temptation to masturbate or fornicate.

Ruthie

You don’t define “foreplay”, but on the assumption that it is some kind of genital stimulation without skin to skin contact, the answer is a definite “No, it’s not okay.”

What if your stimulated just by being next to the person though. By just knowing that they are there and will always be, or by holding hands or something?

If your not doing anything at all sexual but still get aroused, is that okay?

My wife and I talked about sex before we were married. I think that it is important to talk about it if you are engaged because if a couple has never even talked about sex before they get married, it could make things a little awkward on the wedding night.

However, like the previous posters said, you do have to be careful about what you are talking about and where it could possibly lead. My wife and I didn’t go into specifics on sex until after we were married, though we did discuss it more generally before.

In Christ,
Rand

Yeah. Stuff like that happens. As long as you don’t use the stimulation as a springboard for inappropriate sexual activity it’s just part of the knee-jerk reaction found in nature. You know, guys can get stimulated from time to time for various reasons. It’s not our initial bodily response that we are judged upon; it’s where we go with it.

Same rules apply. Do not intend to spill seed, to not have the girl do things to the guy intended to spill seed. Nor should the girl treat her female organs as toys.

WOW!!!

I can’t believe some of the answers here.

A lot of opinion that perhaps should be researched.

Lust, one of the 7 deadly sins. What does the Church call that?
2351 Lust is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes.

All this talk about being ok to “stimulate” without “intent” is ridiculous.

2352 By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. “Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action.” “**The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose.” **For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of "the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved."

It’s clear from the context in the latest question that by stimulated, he means being aroused. The CCC isn’t talking about it in this way.

If your not doing anything at all sexual but still get aroused, is that okay?

Sometimes men wake up in the morning aroused. No intent. It’s not a sin.

In foreplay, any stimulation is part of the marital act. Deliberate stimulation outside of the marital embrace is illicit.

ok, fair enough. I should have clarified. I’m speaking more to the comment that oral stimulation is ok as an end. sorry

Good answers! :thumbsup:

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