I’ve been browsing over this thread for sometime and found it very informative especially in time’s when struggling with certain topic’s which has now influenced me to join and get involved in some of the discussion. Anyway the point of this thread is simply to discuss how impossible it is to find a woman that hold’s Catholic value’s in the part i live in Ireland which is County Derry (don’t know how much of the rest of the country is affected). I mean this country once a bastion of the faith and it is now ALMOST obliterated. Anyway I’m going to try and explain this briefly without turning it into wall’s of text on what i mean.
I’m 22, i haven’t always been a practicing Catholic although i felt it was always inside me even when at time’s i was furthest away from God and in recent time’s feel there was something pulling me toward’s the faith, i had run away from it which i have done many time’s but then i became unhappy and restless however i never understood this as no-one else felt the same way such as my mate’s, they do these thing’s without thought or remorse or consideration for the woman whom they used. I’ve recently accepted fully therefore that only through God and his Church can i find contentment and true happiness. The thing is though that i’m incompatible with the Norm’s of society today such as using each other for pleasure, drug’s, being comfortable with getting sooo drunk you make and ejit of yourself etc. I have done all these but i am not content and later despise myself for doing it and realise that it is weak and unmanly to lose control to thing’s so destructive and treating other human being’s as mere object’s.
Me and my EX GF who were with each other for 3 year’s finished not too long ago. Apart from the fact that we just weren’t meant for each other and different it was our incompatibility with certain Catholic value’s that also caused division such as on contraception as she was of the view that when she get’s married she only want’s 1 or 2 kid’s and then use birth control. I tried to explain the WHY on the Catholic teaching of birth control but she would either get angry or simply say “ok then” as if she accepted it and then later would come out with the same thing. Other issue’s such as homosexuality, abortion IF raped etc was also problem’s. She was/is however a very nice, caring, kind girl although had a VERY bad temperament problem. The biggest error i made when i entered the relationship was that i was willing to simply go with a nice girl thinking someone who is faithful, kind and loving, etc is all i needed. I wasn’t as strong or knowledgeable in my faith and didn’t practice it even though inside i wanted to and compromised it for the purpose of the relationship to be less conflicting on certain view’s and i simply succumbed to temptation and vice.
Now that i am single and accepted my faith in it’s entirety, not the watered down cafeteria Catholic stuff and much more knowledgeable than i’ve ever been on the faith it has made me realize what i want and NEED. The Catholic woman who has Catholic view’s and character is only what i find attractive and appealing, the girl’s i see out at the weekend’s, sure some of them look nice are either unsure of what they want and will simply use someone for a bit of fun, other’s are out half naked and even though when i was just a teenager i would of chased such girl’s they have no appeal to me now at all, even their attractiveness goes when their character is not on par with the Catholic view on woman, sex, morality etc. The thing is though where i go out to at most you MIGHT meet a nice girl who say’s she doesn’t cheat and all that but none are Catholic. I have NEVER met a Catholic woman never-mind one i like. There is no Catholic even’t’s or conference’s even close to me so i don’t know what to do. What’s weird is that at mass on Saturday and Sunday there would be alot of people attending but for most it’s just something they do out of tradition or cause they maybe hold very basic Catholic value’s.
I just wanted to know what alternative do i have other than compromise my faith since i feel the urge to find a woman, not just dating for the point of it like some but to actually find one that i feel is the right woman whom i love and settle down, this urge is VERY strong and is synchronous with my strong faith in Catholicism. I am not desperate and saying it must happen NOW but how do i find a Catholic woman or should i just give up. I do not see them other girls mentioned above as appealing though as they do not share the qualities which Catholic women have which i believe make’s a woman a woman and the same also with men in which i felt much less of what a man should be like when i succumbed to temptation and vice. If i can’t find any Catholic woman then finding one that i actually like and whom i feel is “the one” seem’s impossible