During a parish mission I met a brother who is almost a priest. We got on very well and stayed in touch through e-mail. He recently admitted he has had impure thoughts about me, and I have also felt an attraction to him. I am married, my husband is anti-Catholic. The brother and I are both committed to our present lives. Can we still be friends?
I suppose you COULD…but would it be prudent???
As a married woman, and he as a brother, you both have vows to keep. You have to be honest with yourself and discern if keeping up a friendship with this man will tempt you into having impure thoughts, wishing you were with him instead of your husband, etc. These thoughts are not fair to your husband. If I were you, I would probably not continue the friendship. I’m not saying it means you are untrustworthy or that you have bad intentions, but we can’t be too prideful in thinking “Oh I can handle myself, I can resist these feelings.” We have to guard our hearts and be very mindful of the situations we place ourselves in.
FLEE FROM TEMPTATION!!!
Do not put yourself in a position to sin.
It would be a bad idea.
It might be a friendship now, but what will it lead to if you both have feelings for each other? I think it sounds like a very dangerous situation. The fact that your husband is anti-Catholic is very sad and lonely for you, I’m sure, but that is irrelevant here. You are married to him, and you cannot mess with that. GUARD YOUR HEART. Flee from this temptation before it goes too far.
Praying for you.
forget the fact that he is a religious, “almost a priest” whatever that means. He knows you are married. He even mentioned “impure thoughts” or romantic thoughts of any kind about you, in an e-mail no-less that could easily be read by anyone with access to your computer. What if this was a neighbor, your brother-in-law, a co-worker, the husband of your best friend? It is way out of line for any man to speak to a woman, email, writing or in any way convey “impure” thoughts or romantic notions to her. For someone who is evidently in preparation for the priesthood it betrays a great deal if immaturity about relationships in general, and conflict about his vocation in particular. NO you cannot be friends with any man that brings up “impure thoughts” and romantic inclinations in conversation or writing.
I agree, it is best to Flee from this situation. I am very glad that you posted this to us, I am sure you could find “friends” that would tell you it is harmless but please know that we are saying to run from the temptation because we care about your eternal soul.
God bless you:rolleyes:
Don’t cross the line!
Well, I would be tempted to advise you to stay away. But this doesnt really solve the problem- it just hides it. I think that, if you believe you can resist any tempation, you should have a frank and open discussion with this religious brother and remind him that you both have vows to keep. Get to the root of the problem- why does he feel an attraction to you if he is on his way to the priesthood, and why do you as a married woman feel an attraction towards him? If this turns into a real problem, you both might have to re-examine your vocations. I suggest that in the meantime you talk to a priest and make a confession, and urge this man to do the same.
i dont know if this is true as attraction is human and temptation is everywhere… what they need to do is that once they have understood, they should flee temptation
I myself had an affair with a married woman and that is unfortunately how many start.
One person is attracted to the other. And one person sees it only as friends.
One this makes a bad relationship as both have different hopes for the relationship.
But many times the married person has a bad time with their spouse and they talk about it with there friend and “things” happen
It is unfortunate but its true.
Both your paths are headed for different directions so I would let it be so.
Why would you encourage the OP to “re-examine” her vocation…she’s already married!?
He crossed the line when he told you that he had impure thoughts about you.
I am sorry to say that no, you can not be friends.
For the sake of your marriage and his vocation let him go. If he decides not to pursue the priesthood, do not let it be on your account.
Your soul is not worth risking.
Your friendship would not be a true friendship. It would be a relationship under disguise as a friendship, a relationship in that you would each be enjoying the feeling of attraction you have for each other. You would be enjoying each other’s company in a way that is not appropriate, even if there is no physical contact. In other words, you would be having lust of the heart, which is a sin.
It’s normal to feel an attraction toward another man at times, after all we are only human. The question is, how do you handle this, and the answer is, you don’t play with fire. No friendship is possible here.
LIving with temptation is like a marathon race:
You’re running tired. The devil is running behind you. His front shirt read: “If I catch you, you will be with me in Hell!”. The one running in front is Jesus whose back shirt reads: “If you catch me, you will be with me in Paradise!”.
Keep running. Go to confession often. Go to mass daily. Visit the sacrament. Get spiritual direction. Most of all, get a meanigful prayer life.
We pray for you.
To others reading this, please pray for her too. We are the spectators who can give water to our runner.