Impure Thoughts Of An Imaginary Person


Is it sinful to fantasize about sex with an imaginary person?


It is sinful to willfully entertain sexual fantasies, so yes.



Why father? [quote=“edward_george1, post:2, topic:510468, full:true”]
It is sinful to willfully entertain sexual fantasies, so yes.


Why father? It’s just an imaginary person?


Think of it as a practical matter as well - I’m sure your future wife wouldn’t want to be competing with fantasy women in your mind. A real woman isn’t going to ever measure up to a fantasy one.


Competition makes it a sin? I’m interested to know why it’s a sin


So is the image of the real person you’re objectifying when you fantasize about a real person.


What do you think makes sexual sin, sin, in general?

It’s not that the competition makes it a sin; it’s the improper direction of sexuality away from your spouse.


I think I understand. It’s like “If it’s an imaginary person, then I am not harming the reputation or image of a real person, so no harm done, right?”

There is no harm to another, yes, but there is harm to yourself. Sexual fantasies, even about an imaginary person, turn your sexuality inward and make it a solitary act when it is naturally ordered toward a loving relationship with another real human being.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church has a long section on sexuality and chastity (link here) – look it over if you wish – but the following short passage approaches your question:

(from 2337) Sexuality […] becomes personal and truly human when it is integrated into the relationship of one person to another, in the complete and lifelong mutual gift of a man and a woman.

Solitary sexual pleasures like lust (including fantasies), masturbation, and pornography interfere with the true purposes of your sexuality. If they become habitual, they will have a deep and adverse impact on your future marriage.


For what purpose? To turn yourself on?


It is still an impure action.


Matthew 15:19-20
19 For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, fornication, theft, false witness, slander. 20 These are what defile a man; but to eat with unwashed hands does not defile a man.”

This gives a global statement about impure thoughts.

Furthermore, Jesus here openly says such thoughts are evil.


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Noted - thanks for that.


It is not sinful to have a sexual fantasy cross your mind.
It is sinful to use your imagination to deform the way you look at other human beings or to entertain thoughts that make you less content with reality.
For instance, it is not intrinsically immoral to have daydreams about your wedding night, but you have to ask yourself how a habit of inventing fantasy scenarios might adversely (or positively) affect your actual marriage. If you are planting the seeds of future disappointment, that is planting a near occasion of sin, right? If you are thinking in ways that are planting the seeds of generosity towards your spouse no matter what happens that doesn’t jibe with your fantasies, though, that could be a different matter.

Generally speaking, however, I’d say that over the course of history people haven’t needed fantasies before marriage to help them to a contented, generous and fruitful actual marriage. It is more likely to have the opposite effect, which would be a shame even if it were not intended.

Get in the habit of mastering your thoughts in the best interests of a holy spouse and a holy marriage. As you habitually think, just so you will tend to act later. That leaves out impure thoughts of every kind.


I’m not convinced that have thoughts about a wedding night is okay.



That’s all folks…


You think it is a sin to imagine having sex with your spouse in the future? It isn’t OK to have impure thoughts about your own actual spouse–that is, thoughts that reduce your spouse to an object for your gratification–but it isn’t a sin to imagine engaging in future acts that are virtuous.

Honestly, if it were so, this could be taken to ridiculous lengths…how does anything happen when the people doing it could never imagine doing it before they did it? Why would people plan to marry, if they couldn’t ever imagine having a virtuous sexual relationship with another person?


I think some common sense reasoning should be applied.


The first victim in sexual sin is yourself.

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