I’d like to ask for tips or any advice on how to remain pure and not be impure with myself in isolation. I have no help and can receive no help from anyone in my communities.
I’m fully aware of the success of overcoming this with a friend, or priest, or a close person, but I don’t have these advantages with me to help me take on my sins and fight the temptations, and I’m falling back into evil in my isolation. I believe part of it may have to do with giving into despair.
Constant prayers and novenas, and weekly adoration + confession, aren’t saving me. I don’t want to say I’m not trying hard enough but I can’t say I’m making progress either, one factor can put you down easily each time, each new day.
What can I do, what could help me, to do this alone without friends or a constant confessor? I have run out of inspiration and I’m greatly displeased with myself, for not realizing with all I went through the severity of my sins, and having knowledge of all the evil I give myself into and practice and corrode my soul, and the abuse of all the blessings and graces I receive to use for selfish sinful purposes.
I need something that won’t replace my time, I need something that will help me realize the evil of these sins and how I can overcome them, I have too much time in solitude and I don’t last after a period of time, and I need motivation or something, not a time-filler.
I’m not worthy of fulfilling the desires of my heart, and nor do I have the graces or maturity to work myself to attaining them because of my constant impurity. I could never be a father or husband, or worthy to have any sort of relationship, because I can’t help myself.
I don’t know how to work this evil. Guilt for me easily leads into despair. But there is no excuse. It’s mortal, it’s wrong, I don’t care if it helps your body and if everyone does it and it may be natural for young people, that is no excuse before God. Dominic Savio and all the Saints knew the importance of purity and chastity. I don’t have the intelligence to fathom the same meaning of it to make myself pure, and it makes me mad that I cannot.
As I am becoming older, I know that the temptations only get worse, and especially not with just my sins in solitude, and I fear that my build-up against sin and temptation in solitude will only extend it to sin with others which I fear I could give into easily.
I don’t have strong communities or peoples that acknowledge this the same way that I do, that could help me.
I cannot attain a personal confessor due to time and other factors, which I did in fact try hard to acquire.
I don’t ask for your prayers or your pity. I have realized I have to do this alone because of the situations God has placed me in, and I know the consequences of my offenses will be justly given unless I find a way to win by standing alone.
My Holy Mother whom I love and adore, Saint Joseph, Saint Michael, Saint Philomena, my guardian angels and many saints whom I placed all my trust and prayers in, I have prayed novenas and made devotions to, but I see myself falling in evil again and again. I feel like I’ll never win or overcome it. And I know God’s trying to make me get it done on my own.
I’m destroying my hope through this sin and can’t attain the graces I desire. I’m not worthy of the sacrament of vocation to a spouse which I so greatly desire or being able to raise a son and teach him the ways of God because I cannot even rid myself of my selfish impurity.
I got really deep into this which I tried to avoid, but I tried to make the situation clear and perhaps understandable to one viewer to make a response that may help or motivate me. Something that can enlighten or change me and help me realize in any way or aspect the ruin this sin brings upon me. I see it as many things of evil. It destroys the Spirit within me and removes God’s presence, it defiles the image and likeness of God through the impure actions, it ruins the purpose of actual love and intimacy with a spouse, it goes against making life and abusing the gift of life. It is mortal, it is just as mortal as any other mortal sin. It’s evil. It will make you suffer in eternal fire.
I’m not motivated the same way against it like I use to be, and I was able to put myself against it.
I know it’s not suppose to be easy, but can be done, if I try to show all the devotion I can?
I try to go to Church everyday and then I’ll end up giving in within 5-7 days, and now lately less and less time it takes for me to give in so I stopped going everyday because I cannot receive, and sometimes when there is no homily every other day I don’t care to go and I’m not motivated to. I say the rosary and divine mercy everyday, and I’ve been trying the 54 Day Novena Rosary.
What more devotion do I need to show? What more could I possibly do? I don’t know how to enable myself or attain more graces. And I won’t give up I swear I won’t.
I only ask for advice or tips. I’m not motivated anymore, but I’m not giving up.
It’s so easy today to fall into evil. What can you do when no one can stand by you or give you comfort? How can I make myself a strong Catholic on my own?