In a state of serious sin


This is a touchy subject for me to divulge into. But I have committed some serious sins, including addiction to the evil poison of pornography. My addiction has lasted years, and I will say with sincere honesty that it has been the hardest experience in my life trying to stop the addiction, I know I could quit my smoking habit 100 times easier.

I’m a Catechumen and I’m very concerned about the state of my soul. I’ve offended Our Lord and Mother severely. I know I can’t receive absolution from a priest. I’m embarrassed to confront Father about this because I feel more guilty now than ever before.

So my questions are: What can I do to confess my sins to God since I can’t to a priest? How can I do a true act of contrition? How will I receive the peace of knowing that my sins are forgiven? And most importantly, how do I rid myself of this sick addiction? Please pray for me.


Of course you can get absolution from a priest.
If you are uncomfortable doing that, you should pray for the courage to do so, because this is the means by which all capable Catholics Jesus Christ put in the place to forgive serious sin.

Hang in there. :o


He cannot receive absolution yet. He said he was a catechumen. (I don’t mean to be rude here, but please read original posts more carefully).


I will pray for you, Reff.
It’s difficult being human sometimes. God knows you wish to do better and that you’re sorry. If it was your child who did wrong, as a parent you forgive even before they ask…and you just want everything to be good, and happy, with them. God is no less loving. Please don’t be embaressed when the time comes for confession with your priest…can you imagine how many times he’s heard confession of such things. You need to retrain your mind and habits to better directions and occupations when tempted. It takes patience, and getting up to try again…gradually freeing to fewer and fewer occurances until you are free.
Be at peace and just keep trying the best you can manage, with God’s grace.

Warm regards, Trishie


If you can stop the smoking habit 100 times easier, go ahead and stop that one. (I say this partly because it’s disgusting and bad for your health, but also because ridding yourself of one addictive behavior can help you get rid of another one).

To confess your sins, tell God that you are sorry for your sins. Learn and say the act of contrition (pick up a copy of it at your parish- they should have some copies outsde of the confessional, or you can find one online).


Your conscience is working for your good and your guilt is very “Catholic” which is a good thing! Guilt has gotten an ugly reputation in our culture today but it is a feeling that tells us to stop and think about what we are doing. The Holy Spirit is guiding you in this way.

Might I suggest to you a writing that changed my life. John Paul II’s Theology of the Body. You cannot view the human body as an object after reading this beautiful explanation of God’s true plan for the body. If we were now how we were meant to be at the beginning of time then pornography wouldn’t even exist. We could walk the earth as naked as Adam and Eve and no one would think anything of it. Unfortunately, you, like everyone else on earth has a distorted view of the body. God calls us to return to our origianl destiny. Someone wrote Theology of the Body for Beginners. It is an excellent summary explanation of JP II’s longer and elaborate read.

My parish has a support group for men who have a pornography addiction. You might also look into this within your local diocese. This is a common problem in this day and age. You are not alone.

Love in Christ,


The Bible tells us, “Let him who is without sin cast the first first stone.” We were all born in sin. The Lord doesn’t rate sin, He forgives all sins.
Go and confess and receive absolution. You’ll feel like your born anew…

God bless you,


Are you saying a person must be an educated Catholic to receive the forgiveness of their sins? I know this teaching isn’t in the Bible, so where did you get it from?



Well the problem is I can’t confess or receive absolution from the priest. And that bible quote has given me the most hope in my life, when I have sinned. Thank you:)


I am wondering about this myself? I don’t know why they can’t go to confession, please enlighten me. :thankyou:


Please read TLM08’s posts on pornography addiction.
I will pray for you at Sunday Mass.


Regarding post 10 and similar questions, this was a subject on EWTN radio just a day or two ago. It might have been on Patrick Madrid. A catechumen called in wanting to rid himself of the weight of his iife’s sins; the host of the show said, It’s too early: wait until just before the Easter Vigil. However, the host also said that certain exceptions can be made in extreme situations. The OP would have to speak with a priest as to what would constitute something urgent enough, but this may be such a case. I doubt we posters are the authority on that answer, though.:slight_smile:


Hello Reffs…Sacramental Confession is a gift of God’s Mercy to Baptized Catholics. As you are not yet baptized, do be assured that since you are sorry for what has happened and doing your very best to avoid your addiction, that your sins are forgiven - but to reassure yourself, you can always make an appointment to have a talk with Father. I am sure he will be happy to reassure you since you are a catechumen especially.

Another way you can think of it is that God knows that you are longing to become a Catholic and to be able to receive the Sacrament of Penance, that you are truly sorry for what has happened and for the addiction…don’t you think a Loving Father would thus forgive you? Of course He does, it is not your fault you are unable as yet to go to Confession and that you would if only you could. Confession while a great gift of God’s Loving Mercy is available only to Baptized Catholics…but God’s Loving Mercy is available to all without exemption.

What to do about the addiction? I think there are quite a few threads on this on CAF here if you do a Search. Also, you may like to have a talk with your parish priest anyway and I am sure he would be most happy to do so especially since you are a catechumen as I said before. Most of all pray. Prayer is not a solitude for saints as it is a refuge for sinners. And we are all sinners.



I’m no experts on the “rules” of sacraments but I do know from teaching catechism to children at my church these concepts. The sacraments are a reciprocal relationship between Catholics and God. Yes, we receive the gift of the sacrament but we are also stating by this receiving that we believe certain things. That we are then “obligated”. The clearest example to me is the sacrament of Eucharist. When I accept this sacrament I am reaffirming an oath (saying Amen, “I believe”) that I believe that this is the body of Christ. I will be ‘sent out’ to be His body in the world. Our parents and godparents are accepting an “obligation” for us at baptism to be a Catholic in the world, to teach us our faith so that the Holy Spirit can work in us. Before someone receives the Sacrament of Confession they must be properly catechised to know what they are accepting. Always remember, even Catholics themselves receive a minimum of 2 years of instruction prior to receiving the Sacrament of Confession (first and second grade catechesis for children). Even with the sacrament of baptism our parents are required to receive instruction. We are the Church of Faith and Reason.

Hope this helps.


All your sins will be washed away at the moment of your baptism at Easter Vigil.

I think you should make an appointment to talk to the Priest anyway. As your RCIA instructor to help you set up an appointment. Talk to him, get clairifcation on everything.

jean8 - the sacrament of reconcilation is for baptized Catholics, the original poster is not one yet, his sins will be washed away at baptism.


i’m so sorry beyond words that you’ve been struggling so deeply and so painfully with this. when i read your post, i have no thoughts of condemnation—my heart only aches and breaks for you, since you are obviously in pain. i agree with the poster who said that guilt is a good thing because it shows us where we’ve gone wrong. the fact that you’re feeling guilty shows to me that you are sincerely sorry for your sins and want to do better, and isn’t that what God asks for? i agree with everyone who has talked about God’s Love and mercy and how forgiving He is to all sinners. He wants to be just as forgiving to you, and completely restore you and heal you from all the sins that you’ve been struggling with for so long. when you say that you’ve committed some serious sins, i actually think of myself, because before i repented and gave my heart to Jesus a little over a year ago, after three years of darkness, i was caught up in extremely dark sins, from homosexuality to self-harm to suicide. i damaged my body in terrible ways, and hurt myself and others in ways that are still painful to remember. i want you to know that just as God healed me and restored me even after all i’d put myself, others and Him through, He wants to do the same to you from your addiction to pornography. just as i look back and see Him loving me and reaching out to me even through my darkness, i have no doubt that He’s doing the same to you—in fact, your desire to reach out and your courage to share your story may be a sign that He is touching your heart already. even though you’ve been struggling with this for years, i promise that there is hope—and it’s my deep prayer that i can encourage you in at least some small way that the hope God has for all sinners is available for you as well.

first of all, when you mention that it would be far easier to stop your smoking addiction, i definitely agree with the poster who suggested that you stop smoking first. it’s incredibly damaging to your health, and while i’m not sure if smoking is a sin, i know that it ruins the precious gift of the body, and the last thing we want is to see you hurting yourself or your body in any way. i actually wasn’t sure before reading the responses what a Catechumen was, but now that i know, i’m pretty sure that your sins will be washed away at Baptism, although i don’t know much about that, either. * i’m so sorry that i can’t be more helpful when it comes to the specifics. what i can help you with is the fact that God longs to heal and restore and forgive you—i hate seeing you in pain, and i know that He feels it even more intensely than i do. yes, you have sinned, just like everyone else. i’m not trying to downplay the seriousness of your sins—pornography is very serious, but at the same time, because you are sorry for your sins, there is so much hope for you, so much hope in God’s mercy and Love and the forgiveness He showed to me and shows to everyone, and wants to show to you. please be careful not to drown in so much guilt that you begin to beat yourself up and put yourself down. pornography must be such a hard addiction to overcome, and i will definitely pray for you in this post, tonight and every night, so please be sure to update us as to how you’re doing. it’s important that you do realize that you’ve done wrong and because you want to repent, that’s definitely a sign of hope and the very real possibility of restoration and healing. while you are embarrassed to confront your priest about this, i will pray that God gives you the strength to do it, because i think it’s very important that you talk to him about this. i’m sure he can help you, just as i long to help you through this, and God wants to help you so much. i can’t imagine God glaring at you with an expression of anger and condemnation—i can only see Him hurting because you are, and wanting so desperately to reach out and heal you. He doesn’t ignore our sins, but at the same time, He is a God of mercy and love and forgiveness as well as of justice. and because you want to repent, there is hope. i promise you, there is so much hope.

i’m pretty sure that your sins will be washed away at Baptism, but until then, i will definitely pray for you, that you overcome both addictions—smoking and pornography, and any other sins that you may have fallen into and may be struggling with. let me pray for you now:*


Heavenly Father, i just lift up reff to You now in the deep prayer that You would touch his heart with the reality of Your Love for him and how i know You long so deeply to heal him, restore him and forgive him just as You’ve done so much for me. i pray that You would strengthen him now to completely overcome all of the serious sins that plague him, especially the addictions of smoking and pornography. i pray that You would touch his heart with the reality of Your mercy and forgiveness, and that You would absolve him now of his sins and relieve him of his guilt and shame, and restore him completely back to Yourself. i pray that You would strengthen him not only to overcome this, but to stay close to You and far from sin from now on, and to become a devoted, serious Catholic, strong in You and strong in the faith. i pray that You would heal and cleanse his soul from any darkness from the pornography and any other sins that may have infiltrated his being, and that You would completely restore him. i pray that You would grant him the strength to talk to his priest about his addiction, and that his priest would be able to help and encourage him through his fight against sin, that i pray You would strengthen him to overcome completely. i pray that You would pour out Your mercy, love, forgiveness, restoration, hope and healing upon him, and comfort him in his pain with the reality of Your beautiful grace that heals and restores so completely. i pray that You would grant him the peace of knowing that You forgive him, and will help him to overcome this completely in the strength and hope he has completely and forever in You. please let him overcome his addiction completely, and not only never return to it again, but never again return to serious sin, and stay close to You and far from anything that would offend You and hurt You. please bless him, Lord, and pour out Your Love upon him. i pray all this in the mighty, precious Name of Jesus and through the glorious intercession of our Blessed Mother, Amen. thank you, Lord, for all that You have done for me and will do for reff. we love You so much. Amen.

it is my deep hope and prayer, reff, that my post and prayer was able to help you, inspire you and encourage you in at least some small way. please stay strong, please stay safe and please take care of yourself. i trust completely that God has heard my prayer and will answer it, along with all the prayers of everyone else who is praying for you to overcome this completely. please remember that God is mercy as well as justice, and loves you so much more than you could ever imagine. please update us on how things are going for you, and please know that we truly care about you and are all supporting you with all our hearts and prayers. God bless you, reff, and please take care. please know that i will keep you in my constant thoughts and deepest prayers—and that i am always here and will always care, so please don’t ever hesitate to contact me.

in the peace and love of Christ,
alison xx


I’m assuming you will be baptized this coming Easter Vigil, or If you have been previously validly baptized, you will be able to attend confession before Easter Vigil when you receive communion and confirmation? Either way, you will be able to receive the forgiveness you seek very soon.

I know it is hard, but if you walk around feeling unworthy of God’s mercy, you will continue to feel terrible and will miss out on this important time of your spiritual formation. Guilt, while good because it indicates how much we love and need God, can also be destructive–and that is the what Satan wants to happen to you–that you come to believe you are worthless because of your sins. Satan wants to detract you from your goal of conversion, for you to focus on your sins and not on the mercy of God. It is the intention in your heart to seek forgiveness for your sins, and you will soon be free of this burden when you are baptized or during confession before Easter Vigil. Take the advice of others here–talk to your priest, pray and persevere.

Also, please know that when I converted I walked around with 45 years woth of burden from horrible sins. Instead of excessively worrying about my sins (which was hard but something I had to do), I reflected with joy at how God called me to him and his Church. This gave me the hope I needed to endure before the Vigil.

God bless,


Uh oh. I went to confession the day before Christmas Eve when I was still a catecumen. Was it valid? My priest said it was OK, but I didn’t have anything huge to confess.:confused:


Don’t you realize you can pray directly to God the Father and confess your sins ? That’s why Jesus died on the cross, For you and for me. pray!!
God forgive sins through the priest, but not all have this tradition.
God was there from the beginning.
If your a Catholic, go to confession. That’s what he is there for. He doesn’t judge, he listens. But so does God the Father. :slight_smile: God forgives.

God bless,

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