I’d like some general informed guidance pls,I’ve prayed about this a lot and am still unsure of what to do.
Basically I re-converted to my faith a few years ago, have confessed everything from my dark days - and I mean everything. The amount of sins I had to confess has led me to a tendency to being scrupulous. But on this particular isue I’m not sure if it’s scruples or if Jesus is guiding me to make amends for something.
Quick history - my relationship with my in-laws used to be strained. I’m actually very shy so we never had any kind of confrontation, but after lots of incidents where I was left upset by their words or actions, I used to be full of bitterness towards them. I couldn’t talk about them to my husband without being nasty, I was so full of resentment I even confided in their daughter, my husband’s sister. We’re talking about a couple of years of very strained relations between us anyway - nothing was ever said directly between us, but they knew that I was upset over things, and I avoided visiting them at all costs because I couldn’t stand them.
Then - God happened and the penny dropped about forgiveness. I realised I needed to let go of the hurt and after my Confession for all the bitterness and nasty things I said behind their backs, I have really made a positive effort to “redress past wrongs”. I visit regularly, go out of my way to be nice to them, I let things go if they say or do something to upset me. Suddenly I’m at peace, and I know they will have seen a marked difference in me since my re-conversion.
Except now I’m starting to wonder if as part of my repentance I should come out and say to them “I’m sorry” for all the bitterness in the past. Is this my scruples getting in the way again, or is this God telling me what I need to do? Is it enough that I’ve confessed to this bitterness and actively repaired the relationship, or is God telling me I need to be totally honest here and tell them I’m sorry? My human instinct is telling me they will think I’ve lost the plot if I come out with anything like this, especially because we never even had “words” - it was all things said behind closed doors. What do posters here think? Does it sound like an attack of scruples or something I need to do? Is this some form of restitution I need to do, or am I doing enough by showing them I’ve changed rather than telling them?